Luke Skywanker
I know emotions are complicated, but man. I know going home is the right thing for so many reasons, there is nothing for me here and it's time, and yet I just had to pull over to sob loudly. I don't know why I'm suddenly utterly depressed about leaving.
Luke Skywanker
it could be partly just built up stress
Luke Skywanker
that I haven't been able to let out
Luke Skywanker
and there is nothing for me to do if I stay, and I need to go start my life back up
Luke Skywanker
but I'm having a really hard time
ryannN?!
or it could be an idea that you're sad for rather than a reality
Luke Skywanker
maybe because IDK what that life is right now
Luke Skywanker
ryannN?!
: maybe
ryannN?!
that's usually what it ends up being with me when I'm really nostalgic or homesick or similar, but that's only my experience
Luke Skywanker
I can't stay but I don't ever want to leave them
Luke Skywanker
yeah
Luke Skywanker
it's just kinda unexpectedly overwhelming
ryannN?!
yeah. it never hits but it hits fuckin HARD
Luke Skywanker
thanks babe. I'm feeling a little crazy for getting this way
ryannN?!
my most recent one was admittedly more ridiculous than yours
ryannN?!
me, throwing away a tank top that the cat dragged into the litterbox: eugh I don't want to clean that
ryannN?!
me, three months later, weeping: but it was the perfect tank top
Luke Skywanker
oh no
ryannN?!
my therapist: could this perhaps be not about the tank top
Luke Skywanker
partly there's a chance this is the last long stretch of time I get with one or both of them
Luke Skywanker
aww
ryannN?!
see now your emotions sound less ridiculous in comparison, right?
Luke Skywanker
I'm about to drive 3000 miles. I'm not going to see them for a long time, and they are old and have conditions that could accelerate at any time
Luke Skywanker
not that it's a competition, but ok
ryannN?!
I just want you to know that it's valid and legit
Luke Skywanker
thanks, hon. I appreciate that
ryannN?!
you sound like you're feeling ridiculous and doubting yourself, and the reality is these feelings make a ton of sense
ryannN?!
and that I hope you're okay
Luke Skywanker
well I'm also doubting my decision to leave even though there's no logic to staying and it's not going to change anything
Luke Skywanker
I will be. thank you
ryannN?!
I really envy people whose lives and families are in the same location
Luke Skywanker
yeah. yeah. it's hard. I did it to myself, and yet.
Luke Skywanker
there's a part of me that wants to just turn around. but I'll still have to leave.
StupidSexyV⚠der
Your feelings are very valid and make a LOT of sense. Seriously
Luke Skywanker
it feels like I'm losing something
Luke Skywanker
but I know I have to go live my life
StupidSexyV⚠der
You are losing something. That's ok to grieve. And it's ok to grieve the end of an AMAZING journey. And it's ok to be ANY kind of emotional at an uncertain future.
Luke Skywanker
<3
StupidSexyV⚠der
<3
bluecanary
yeah agreed
bluecanary
I'm so sorry friend
Skylanth
I almost always get weepy when a trip is over and I have to go home and leave my loved ones. Added to this is the fact that you now have to make a stressful journey of /driving across the country/ and then stress about getting a new job so...yeah. These feelings are normal, and completely natural.