Quinneapolis
Tour in 3D, try to find the bath tub. good luck.
Vehrec
found a bathroom
Vehrec
no tub though
Quinneapolis
yeah there's a few of those
moontouched
what is this fucking MAZE
moontouched
HOLY SHIT
EsperBot
https://images.plurk.com/4eBDzucqE7iVI0yM3kkxRy.jpg what the fuck
Quinneapolis
it took me about 15 minutes
Vehrec
found it!
Vehrec
man, where am I though
Vehrec
I got completely turned around in storage.
EsperBot
https://images.plurk.com/1DjRxKoepILN3rDC3FJcbb.jpg what the fuck!?
Vehrec
there were so many DVDs
Quinneapolis
you live in the house now
EsperBot
>find the storage area
'jesus this is a lot of storage. Okay let's see what's up these stairs....'
> IT'S ANOTHER WHOLE FLOOR OF STORAGE
EsperBot
UH
EsperBot
I FOUND THE TUB
EsperBot
WHAT THE FUCK!???
EsperBot
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
Quinneapolis
I'm fairly sure the house shifts around you like it's the fucking house of leaves
moontouched
I'M ALMOST CERTAIN IT DOES
EsperBot
Okay but more seriously I have to assume that this is someone's place of business that they also live in. Like before my grandfather retired his surveying company's office was just part of his house, it HAS to be something like that
EsperBot
THERE'S A FUCKING EMERGENCY EXIT
Quinneapolis
there's a whole room full of porn
EsperBot
Yeah and you have to walk through the room of porn to get to the bathtub
BERSERKER
this is absolutely some sort of shipping satellite that someone lives from
BERSERKER
i found the cursed xbox 360 graveyard
Vehrec
I found my way back out to the front door
EsperBot
But also, this being a shipping satellite doesn't actually explain some of the weird shit
EsperBot
like the tub
Quinneapolis
or the bathroom with two parallel toilets
BERSERKER
i have seen no less than five emergency exits, by the way
BERSERKER
different ones, too
Quinneapolis
the emergency exits just lead to more storage
BERSERKER
oh found the porn room
BERSERKER
.......
BERSERKER
kamikasei
https://images.plurk.com/4iPWFwAuTRLgUiUwV1mS67.png
BERSERKER
I think I can explain the tub but that's eldritch knowledge nobody wants
EsperBot
"This unique home is just what you are looking for. Two kitchens, a private living space and many more surprises. This is a must see. The pictures do not tell the full story. " YOU DON'T SAY
BERSERKER
oh god I clicked away from the 3D tour and looked into the photos
BERSERKER
not only do the parallel toilets get showcased but everything is shot in this fish-eye lens that makes it legit look like the fucking shining
EsperBot
I am begging you to explain the tub
Vehrec
well it's clearly someone's 'refurbishment'
BERSERKER
given the proximity to the porn room I can come up with two theories. the more "generous" of those two is that they are actually using that room to shoot some or all of said porn
Quinneapolis
is this girls gone wild hq
BERSERKER
the less generous is that it's not a tub and is instead the occupant's personal jo locker room
BERSERKER
quinn is this what happens when you look at piles of books, is this a demonstration of what happens
EsperBot
Okay see I was more looking for an explanation as to the construction of the tub
kamikasei
This is the Home you Work From where you can Be Your Own Boss
EsperBot
why/how this thing came into being
BERSERKER
ah
BERSERKER
I mean, "porn shoot room" does offer a why/what, but not a how
EsperBot
I also appreciate that none of us are posting pictures of the tub
EsperBot
nobody wants to spoil the surprise
BERSERKER
I legit deadass cannot explain how anything in this hell house, the house that knows hate, has come into existence

https://images.plurk.com/5rZ76QBW4PkQpbrCFeyUhv.png
BERSERKER
also i think kamikasei has it; this is absolutely the home that BDG bought to Work From Home, Being His Own Boss, And You Can Too
kamikasei
I found it but I think I lost myself in the process
kamikasei
(Is that even a bathtub or is it a, like, decontamination shower?)
Snugglewolf
I don't know where I am anymore
Snugglewolf
in this 3d space, or in real space
Snugglewolf
I feel like this building is my existential crisis given shape
Quinneapolis
so
Quinneapolis
some internet archaeologists investigated this house
Quinneapolis
and the truth is about as alarming as everything else
EsperBot
oh boy
Quinneapolis
that's not a bathrub
Quinneapolis
bathtub*
Quinneapolis
this building used to be a CHURCH
Quinneapolis
and that's a BAPTISMAL FONT
EsperBot
That's a fucking HUIGE baptismal font
BERSERKER
somehow that's even more cursed than I anticipated
BERSERKER
but I mean, the building being a church does explain why things seem so non-euclidian with stairs going in directions no stairs should go
Snugglewolf
...I never even found that
Vehrec
it makes a LOT of sense!
thetaClysm
i assume it would make more sense to imagine this place as a church if every room larger than a modestly-sized kitchen wasnt packed to the gills with warehouse shelves
thetaClysm
alternate take: whenever someone's personal possessions mysteriously go missing, this house is where they all end up
skerple
FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION, POSSESSIONS GOING MISSING, BECAUSE,,,
EsperBot
lmao
BERSERKER
phasmophobia devs please put the louisville kentucky church-house into the game
BERSERKER
this absolutely is a cursed landmark
thetaClysm
sorry for the necropost but i think this article is worth it
skerple
you are distinctly not wrong
skerple
the ending sentence alone justifies the entire article
Vehrec
oh my god, heck yeah it does
Snugglewolf
omg
Usagi
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