(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
oh God rent is going up. have until May to figure out where to live. don't know a place that will accept birds, a large dog, and a cat. everything in the area is 1k, min. mom is running out of money to house me.
baby gremlin
...Jfc raising rent in this economy is just evil
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
can't find work that pays enough to meet 1k a month, period, nevermind gas and food and bills. moving out to the most rural fringes of Maine would cut me off from my parents, my psych, and my one irl buddy, and even then those places are 1k a month, anyway.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
car is breaking down. brakes are squeaking. can't afford meds. food pantry is beans and rice. Vivian needs her teeth cleaned and Zoe will still need her beak trimmed and I am out of things to sell.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
do I just surrender my animals? I cannot believe my stupid ass made a pumpkin pie last night on a whim when I could have spent the money on something better.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
my teeth are rotting, Trump is going to be reelected, and my stupid, idiot self went camping in August.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
I make my own goddamn problems. It's me. It's always been me. And now my mother can't retire and my father will need to dip into his retirement and he's dying and I can't help but think maybe it would be better if he died a little faster so I could get his money and that isn't that just the most reprehensible thing?
skerple
Hey. Your decision to go camping did not cause this. Your rent isn't going up because you chose to use money in August on doing something you would enjoy.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
I was like, ha ha. I'm going to die in this house, in the bed I spend twenty-three hours a day lying in. But now maybe a bitch is gonna die in her car in a Walmart parking lot.
skerple
And last I checked, pumpkin pie ingredients aren't so pricy that the money you spent on making one would have been the breaking point on any of these other things.
skerple
Poverty is horrible and grinding and there is a paradox in that a lot of things that mentally scan as "luxury" - and a certain amount of luxury is necessary for mental health! - aren't actually that much money compared to, like, cost of living. It's the "why do you have an XBox if you're poor??" logic.
skerple
I want to say something snarky about how being cut off from your mother might not be the worst thing for you, given how much she constantly tramples all over your boundaries, but I don't actually want you to move into the rural fringes of anywhere. You need to be less isolated, not more.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
My parents grew up in poverty and went such wild fucking directions with it. Mom hoards everything, Dad buys the Best and Latest, I curl into the fetal position after buying a nice dress. They've clawed their way up and I just settled at the bottom like moldy sediment.
skerple
I'm going to challenge that last sentence there, all of it. You've been doing plenty of clawing, and I wouldn't call your mom's hoarding + not being able to retire? having "clawed her way up".
skerple
But yeah, those are all things that poverty can do to the brain. Poverty is a kind of chronic trauma, and therefore people have traumatic reactions to it.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
I'm so alone. And now the internet is going away and I can't pay to fix it, I can't even pay my overdue electric bill, where am I going to find $700? And now I can't talk to anyone once my data caps, the libraries and computer labs aren't open, I can't keep working to find medication programs/free therapy/everything I need to even just survive the winter.
skerple
So, let's make a plan. Did you call the crisis line last time? If not, this might be a good time to call; they might be able to help you with those resources and programs you need.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)🌻 BIZ
God. What am I even going to do for heat this winter? Shut off the pipes? The toilet is still broken, those pipes will definitely explode, fuck me. I have pet-safe heating pads. Birds will be okay. Can't foster anyone. Ferris and Vivian can bundle down with me. Fuck.
skerple
Focus on what you need to survive the winter first. The economy right now is fucking bad and it's not your fault even a little bit, there's no shame in taking advantage of resources if they're available.
skerple
This is exactly the kind of time and situation where the state should offer assistance.
skerple
("Lyssie, do you mean 'the state' as in Maine, or 'the state' as in government in general?" Yes.)
skerple
Hotlines / Crisis Numbers | Department of Health and...
skerple
If you can provide a rough dollar estimate for what it would take to cover all your bills/needs at least through the winter, I'm willing to set up a gofundme for you. I've never done one before but by god I can learn.
skerple
I know you'll want to protest that you don't deserve it, or that it'll somehow be alright, but please consider: I want you not to suffer. If I had Bezos money you would already be set up for life, but we make do with what we have. Consider it mutual aid.
skerple
Ideally I'd like to get you the fuck out of where you currently live and transplant you closer to Literally Anyone
motherofvermin
I have money and want to help you. Please let me help you.
Autumn Vasch
I will absolutely throw some money in to help
Autumn Vasch
I'm sorry things are so shit but you need to understand that much as the mistakes you have made in the past seem to haunt you, the good things you have done in the past also thus gets to haunt you.
Autumn Vasch
you have made a lot of friends over the years biz, and we may not live next door in maine to be able to come over to personally help but we can certainly lend some support when you are looking at going homeless and i think you would be surprised at how many people will also contribute some help
skerple
^^^^
ゲイツ｡
^^^
wâfel
More ^^^ and more seconding that this isn't a YOU problem, a lot of things have failed out recently, including your mother
Nin is Tired
^^^ for serious
vegan gloryhole
You will not be homeless. You will not die in your car, or that house, or even fucking Maine. I will not let that happen.
ȡ𝓲𝘴ą𝘴𝓽є𝓻
i will drive up there and bodily drag you back to my house before that happens.
vegan gloryhole
Kelly and I have plenty of room in our home for you and Vivian and Ferris, and we could figure out the birds. And we already want you out here anyway!
Autumn Vasch
I would love to see you get some roommates and you seem to have an offer. I think getting away from your mom and your dependency on her and her using that dependency to constantly ignore your personal boundaries would be really good for you getting back on your feet again
Autumn Vasch
and i am happy to help send money to get you there
Autumn Vasch
this is not the first or even fifth time a friend has needed help getting out of a shitty situation and onto a better path please take us up on it Biz
Celizabeth Hood
^^^
curieosity。
ゲイツ｡
^^