Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:44 PM
[wtf] Found this on Twitter and all I'm gonna say is if any of you ladies wanna enact that alleged "vagenda of manicide" that was supposedly on the ballot in '16, I'd say it's probably for the best.
https://images.plurk.com/2PRmGOEqapsHgVuXEOVUun.jpg
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:44 PM
Because there's a lot to unpack here and I'm like 95% sure it's covered in anthrax
ʟɪɴᴀღ
@linatrinch
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:46 PM
why is everything capitalized. like there is so much here but also.
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:47 PM
that is but one question we may never know the answer to
LiberBEARian
@cannibalherpes
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:48 PM
I wanna see the reality show Do You Have What It Takes to Marry a Prophet
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:48 PM
That was my thought too but I cannot help but think this dude thinks there's a giant IN / OUT tray of women in a mail room somewhere
Tᴇᴀʀᴊᴀʀꜱ
@beltsquid
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:48 PM
brb legally changing my name to Vagenda of Manicide
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:49 PM
Tᴇᴀʀᴊᴀʀꜱ that dude's signs were always a massive trip but that one's going to be immortal
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:50 PM
i wanna see what dude thinks he's entitled to this omg
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:50 PM
oh they have been roasting him for the pic
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:50 PM
omg pls
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:51 PM
application for review....
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:51 PM
https://images.plurk.com/4nflq075IwqJmo6YJFHFO4.jpg
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:52 PM
https://images.plurk.com/4pKvGJWNG8OxJGBhx5eVl3.jpg https://images.plurk.com/3ubxdOsVaejBIw4NkiCxro.jpg https://images.plurk.com/7iFGGcpWfhZr5u40C58jQK.jpg
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:52 PM
it's like he's half heartedly trying duckface
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
https://images.plurk.com/5urtA8E7g3nPtnwVpH4FGQ.jpg
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
Jesus called, he said "wtf"
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
and gave up right before the pic was taken
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
FUCK that last one
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
https://images.plurk.com/3IHz59FKf27ZlACtNsvZgz.jpg
personal favorite, hands down
ootori
@retort
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
oh no
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:53 PM
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Tue, Sep 22, 2020 11:56 PM
https://images.plurk.com/7e2nZKVVN9IoH6frBxuqbm.jpg
Rabbit Crimes
@AngelLeriel
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:00 AM
Ah, one of These
Rabbit Crimes
@AngelLeriel
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:00 AM
What is it about Christian cismen that makes this happen so often
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:02 AM
fundamentalism
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:02 AM
Also the sign I referenced up top, for anyone who somehow escaped 2016 without seeing it
https://images.plurk.com/1jOzr5NCpnCJIIDZpzYWhT.jpg
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:02 AM
(and yes it's very comforting to know this dude's surrounded by guns)
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:06 AM
So I wanna know this dude's self-qualifications for Prophethood
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:07 AM
Questionable.
https://images.plurk.com/3gM3Zc2Uli5EooyMpMtZ7l.jpg
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:08 AM
Oh. Well.
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:08 AM
.... ngl i
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:09 AM
do kinda want to see this
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:09 AM
because
⛥ fαиgυιѕн ⛥
@doitsun
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:09 AM
I’m so glad someone else mentioned discount Wayne Brady
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:09 AM
Ah yes, so your NDE must apply to EVERYONE, ok
⛥ fαиgυιѕн ⛥
@doitsun
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:10 AM
https://images.plurk.com/6kkrF8bkrNsxkRtX9RmfaH.jpg
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:10 AM
why are his eyebrows zebra striped
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:10 AM
what prompted this
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:11 AM
does he want his mouth opened or closed
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:11 AM
He has such an unfortunate head shape
⛥ fαиgυιѕн ⛥
@doitsun
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:12 AM
He really does
⛥ fαиgυιѕн ⛥
@doitsun
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:12 AM
It’s like a baby and an egg had an accident
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:13 AM
https://images.plurk.com/35zugOnNlMGuDHfumrHrfI.jpg
...also in the Questionable Choices category: Photoshopped beard
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:13 AM
badly photoshopped beard
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:14 AM
Oh so he's a Christian Incel
TheApostate ™
@Spectreselva
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:14 AM
,,,,,did a 3yo photoshop that?
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:25 AM
Oh shit I stumbled across this dude's LinkedIn trying to peek at what other madness he's been up to and uh
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:25 AM
https://images.plurk.com/1If0U2X3pjXsKX4hpvCgWp.png
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:25 AM
Go...go get it, ladies between 5'0" and 5'4" ...?
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:26 AM
(I have no idea what Branded to Execution is and I've tried and failed to find out)
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:26 AM
(there's exactly one other hit for it on Google and it's also for a dude saying he's a talent supplier)
Darth Imperious
@haganenomore
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:27 AM
So basically, what he wants is a nun.
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:27 AM
what is... branded to execution
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:28 AM
squints
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:28 AM
I have no idea.
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:28 AM
Best guess is some sort of unpublicized radio ministry or something
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:29 AM
Also, check out this very real and definitely not fake testimonial from someone who is apparently a satisfied multi-speccing Jewish woman
https://images.plurk.com/6EiDQtpY5jts7U3vvFiRFT.png
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:33 AM
https://images.plurk.com/2Ms81QZiZdC93NPIb3eAOA.png
Saw that one coming
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:35 AM
https://images.plurk.com/76QFiOG4xl7yhyRBvBVHdu.png
Also it's been a long, long time since I read scripture, but uh
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:35 AM
this doesn't sound right
ootori
@retort
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:35 AM
oh so that's why his head isn't respected: it's not covered
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 12:35 AM
like I very distinctly remember the Anti-Christ being something you couldn't just get rid of by going to church
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:10 AM
Nox : this is extra hilarious bc my church had masks made with a cute graphic design of their current mantra on it ("breathe in & out the Gospel"), for all their staff and volunteers.
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:10 AM
zero issue
StupidSexyV⚠der
@komikbookgeek
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:10 AM
no no you cannot
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:11 AM
Remarkably, the Lord will not be conquered by two layers of cotton
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:13 AM
https://images.plurk.com/1wxTdjDJvMLj4qGYZ1w9Vv.png
Just checking but isn't part of being a prophet being able to call this stuff out beforehand?
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:14 AM
Because even if we believe this dude he's still several months late and that feels like an unacceptable delay in prophecizing
Nox
@SaintCynicism
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:17 AM
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀 (although older sources say the Lord may be offended if those two layers are mixed fabrics)
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:18 AM
New Testament rules, baby
StupidSexyV⚠der
@komikbookgeek
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:21 AM
yep
StupidSexyV⚠der
@komikbookgeek
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:21 AM
way beforehand
StupidSexyV⚠der
@komikbookgeek
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:21 AM
ALSO THE OLD TESTIMENT DOES NOT APPLY TO CHRISTIANS YOU FUCKWITS
𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 💀
@BackAgain
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:23 AM
Fear-based salesmanship like this can fuck right off tho
CricketMomJenn
@icelightning
Wed, Sep 23, 2020 1:36 AM
hoooo booooyyyyy
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