[RP] ...i've fucking played myself because after taunting cassie about mordred i am now thinking intense thoughts about mordred, again,

JUST... MORDRED. HAUGH.

but unlike cassie i'm not a coward so i'm confident in saying that i love this horrible bastard

i'm thinking about mordred gender because i am incapable of not thinking about gender when i come across a character as interesting as mordred but ironically i think like... while i still think she's kinda alienated from The Concept of Womanhood because of her EVERYTHING it sorta like... devalues her character arc and trajectory to say she's 100% nb or trans

at least for me? like i'm not saying mordred is 100% cis either

good lord no

but like... gah i'm bad at. articulating things.

the way she kinda occupies this weird gender liminal space reminds me a lot more of stuff my tme lesbian friends experience than a definitively Trans/NB Narrative or whatever. like... again it's hard for me to articulate because it's a hard feeling to articulate! and i'm saying this as an aspiring Extremely Butch trans woman too so i have a very. complex.

relationship to womanhood and femininity and stuff.

but i feel like the sorta weird alienation from her gender and the extreme reaction to it in the anime is something that they didn't adopt willingly but was something that was forced on her by morgan as a survival/disguise mechanism and that's STILL THERE even as a servant

and like... a large part of her shit in /apocrypha is, like, learning how to have One Functional Relationship with a parental figure

and i can see a natural extension of that becoming a bit more comfortable and acquainted with her own gender after... everything. just look at what she chose to wear as soon as she got clothes from kairi

after being forcibly separated from your own gender for your entire living life i don't think anybody can come out of that experience PURELY CIS but like... yeah???

AGAIN I AM. VERY BAD AT ARTICULATING THINGS. AS YOU CAN SEE.

i know i mordredgender post like every week but my views are constantly evolving as i play her