so with the past year of becoming a BNF/admin of a large official fandom discord/so on i have found myself doing my best to have more of a 'spine' when it comes to interactions with folks. like. firm boundaries.

this has come up because i'm HEATED about an asshole last night lol and i need kind of a safer space unrelated to those discords to blow off some steam

dude's been constantly nonstop drunk all the time and going on and on and on about his trauma and abuse and how he was sexually assaulted as a kid and this is a discord that's not 18+ and not about this shit

so i dm him telling him he needs to chill, if he needs a place FOR this i have a discord link for an 18+ server for mental health and abuse recovery and blahblahblah and look, dude, you're a grown ass man and this is a discord that has 13 fuckin year olds in it, there's kids here. little kids don't need to see a drunk grown ass man drunkenly rambling for

hours about his trauma. and this isn't a small discord, its got over 2k people in it. there's 0 privacy or expectation of it here

so i'm talking with him and it turns into him trying to get me to agree to be someone he can talk all his woes to whenever he wants to and i firmly state while i can listen sometimes, i am not able to and will not engage in that talk sometimes because i, too, am not well. i have to take care of myself. i'm not a therapist for a random dude i don't know.

i offer the link to the MH discord because thats a place where he CAN get the 1 on 1 talk with somebody he wants and he starts getting fuckin aggressive with me because i won't be his perfect friend-therapist and because i'm putting up the damn boundary

then he tries to get me to open up to him and i tell him no thank you, i tend to only talk about my trauma with people i know well. and then he gets MORE pissed because i 'made him open up'

dude you literally spew your issues into a fandom discord general chat all day. a fuckin mote of dust can make you open up.

anyway, he's pissed because i won't open up to him after 'making him' open up to me (which i did not), and then just goes on a tear about it and then insinuates shit like i somehow ~wasted~ what precious time he has left on the earth

i'm not here for this shit lol

diiiick

AGREED WITH THAT FACE lol

yeah. i flat out told him he was being an asshole and i was officially done with the conversation and to not dm me back for the rest of the night, thanks. i had said my official mod stuff, offered a place where he COULD talk with someone willing to listen, been honest the whole way i'm not gonna be somebody's online therapist

('oh but i don't want a therapist i just want a friend') lol no

i did dm the creator who is my friend about it, so. before the dude had really started acting out and was red flagging he had said not to ban and wanted to be involved in the decision (probably because dude hangs around some of the late night streams so they've talked some and he doesn't bring the trauma shit into the youtube chats, just discord lol)

but sorry folks! my trauma and decision to share it is MINE. i do not have to share it! i also do not have to be your therapist if I don't wanna be!

i'm always ready to listen to friends or people i've gotten to know but not a complete stranger in a fandom discord i am not being paid for this lol

there got my vent out of my system

:clap: alright i talked with creator and he's like 'ok yeah thats shit' thank god he is reasonable dude and we became friends

Good work!