romantic sotrp
STEPH 2.0🔪
romantic sotrp
romantic sotrp
STEPH 2.0🔪
wade is happily in a relationship w Peter. he's pretty unhealthily co-dependent on the dude but it's fine he's fine everything is fine.
STEPH 2.0🔪
they're schmoopy and it's cute
STEPH 2.0🔪
even if they both definitely need therapy like ashlee said
simple dog
ᴊᴀᴄᴋᴇᴛ.
gross
ᴊᴀᴄᴋᴇᴛ.
(cute)
simple dog
... on the bright side at least most of that therapy is more for their own personal issues and not as much about the actual relationship.
simple dog
simple dog
WHO IN DEERINGTON DOESN'T NEED THERAPY!!!!
STEPH 2.0🔪
ᴊᴀᴄᴋᴇᴛ.
: ur gross (cute)
STEPH 2.0🔪
simple dog
: they could probably work some things out relationship wise
STEPH 2.0🔪
wade willing to let Peter kill him if he wanted, peter feeling like he needs to save wade
simple dog
hey I said most of that therapy!!!
simple dog
... like 75% of that therapy
simple dog
... where are the deerington therapists
simple dog
we need to hire some
STEPH 2.0🔪
wade would rather die
(ｏ・_・)ノ
alana is here for you
(ｏ・_・)ノ
and tell her, wade. why would you rather die
STEPH 2.0🔪
no
no
(ｏ・_・)ノ
all right then, she won't make you
simple dog
wade's instinct to run from actually healthy solutions: 
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
she'll just sit there in silence for the rest of the session and still charge you
simple dog
flawless
(ｏ・_・)ノ
omg no, alana isn't like that
(ｏ・_・)ノ
she'll talk to peter instead
(ｏ・_・)ノ
wade can play with the dog outside
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
if there's a dog you do know peter isn't making it inside the door right
STEPH 2.0🔪
its Wade's dog Peter has to go in wade is gonna hog the dog
(ｏ・_・)ノ
wade, the dog belongs to alana. she is allowing you to pet it while she talks to your partner. antagonising him about it just means that alana will make sure the dog isn't here next time.
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
people start showing up to see the dog
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
instead of to get therapy
STEPH 2.0🔪
wade will talk to u if u let him play w the dog
wade will talk to u if u let him play w the dog
(ｏ・_・)ノ
gizmatico: hey if it gets them in the door. pet therapy is pretty sound
(ｏ・_・)ノ
STEPH 2.0🔪
: deal
simple dog
peter will just buy wade a robo-dog toy
simple dog
one of those tomogachi-styled keychains maybe
simple dog
close enough to a dog!!!
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
STEPH 2.0🔪
(ｏ・_・)ノ
: ok so it all started in west Philadelphia, where he was born and raised. on the playground where he spent most of his days.
STEPH 2.0🔪
chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
okay but my kingdom for a therapist who's from before the 90s
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
who just sits there and listens to the whole song
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
taking notes
STEPH 2.0🔪
LMAJRBE
STEPH 2.0🔪
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
"and what is 'maxing'"
(ｏ・_・)ノ
and tell me, Wade
(ｏ・_・)ノ
when did you realise you were will Smith?
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
"how did it feel when your life got flip-turned upside down?"
(ｏ・_・)ノ
are you paying yourself, or will uncle Phil drop off a cheque
STEPH 2.0🔪
all of these feel like very judgemental questions. he thought he was here to open up
STEPH 2.0🔪
to spread his metaphorical soul legs
(ｏ・_・)ノ
As soon as he's ready to do that, she's here
(ｏ・_・)ノ
until then, can he do the men in Black theme song?
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
sure hope he's wearing underwear
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
THE GOOD GUYS DRESS IN BLACK, REMEMBER THAT
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
JUST IN CASE WE EVER FACE TO FACE AND MAKE CONTACT
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
THE TITLE HELD BY ME, M I B, MEANS WHAT YOU THINK YOU SAW YOU DID NOT SEE
(ｏ・_・)ノ
STEPH 2.0🔪
he doesn't need to pay u to be insulted he can just sit in front of a mirror for free for an hour!!
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
he can just have a brief text conversation with clara for that
STEPH 2.0🔪
YEAH
𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 ✨
STEPH 2.0🔪
(ｏ・_・)ノ
: wait tho
STEPH 2.0🔪
does she like advertise
STEPH 2.0🔪
can wade con pete into seeing her would he know to does she make her presence known
(ｏ・_・)ノ
she will do a network post this month!
(ｏ・_・)ノ
basically whenever I get around to setting up the character business and making a network post\
(ｏ・_・)ノ
also you can't con people into seeing alana
STEPH 2.0🔪
yes he can
(ｏ・_・)ノ
she will only talk to people who want to be talked to
STEPH 2.0🔪
sure jan
sure jan
(ｏ・_・)ノ
that's right, marsha
STEPH 2.0🔪
hes gonna
STEPH 2.0🔪
simple dog
hES GONNA
(ｏ・_・)ノ
peter you can come over and pat the dog and have coffee
STEPH 2.0🔪
simple dog
HE'S JAZZED NGL
HE'S JAZZED NGL
STEPH 2.0🔪
have fun baby, get a brain massage xoxo
(ｏ・_・)ノ
he'll come back a changed man
(ｏ・_・)ノ
wade just like how
STEPH 2.0🔪
nah wade believes therapists work for people w functioning brains
(ｏ・_・)ノ
well
(ｏ・_・)ノ
come have a chat with her and she'll tell you about all the psycopaths she's worked with
(ｏ・_・)ノ
no therapy involved, just stories of people with very weird brains
STEPH 2.0🔪
he's willing to bet he has them all beat
(ｏ・_・)ノ
uh huuuuh
STEPH 2.0🔪
but nice try he's not falling for ur therapist seduction
simple dog
idk wade you don't
simple dog
like
simple dog
eat people
simple dog
so
STEPH 2.0🔪
u dont know that
(ｏ・_・)ノ
hey, peter don't spoil her stories
STEPH 2.0🔪
THAT COULD CHANGE
(ｏ・_・)ノ
she will dangle them over wade's head as a reward for self-disoclosure
simple dog
sure wade, sure
(ｏ・_・)ノ
wade you haven't been a secret cannibal for forty years while being a successful and well-respected surgeon and then therapist who worked with the FBI while killing people to help them catch other killers
STEPH 2.0🔪
dont make him be spiteful and chop off a finger and swallow it just to prove a POINT
(ｏ・_・)ノ
auto-cannibalism doesn't count
(ｏ・_・)ノ
auto-cannibals are dime a dozen
STEPH 2.0🔪
YES IT DOES
STEPH 2.0🔪
NO
(ｏ・_・)ノ
it's okay wade
(ｏ・_・)ノ
you don't have to compete with the criminally insane
STEPH 2.0🔪
wade KILLS PEOPLE
wade KILLS PEOPLE
simple dog
but does he eat them or make them into lamps
simple dog
ur not as thug as you think buddy
(ｏ・_・)ノ
did you keep a police officer in a pit for ten years and then send her arm to the fbi agent who was her mentor in order to help him have a mental breakdown so he wouldn't catch you
simple dog
you bake cakes and pies
STEPH 2.0🔪
someone app hannibal Wade's gonna eat him to prove a point
(ｏ・_・)ノ
wade, you know that eating someone doesn't make you better or scarier than them
simple dog
dont listen to him alana he literally made icy cucumber water and put peter in a bathrobe like 1 tag ago
(ｏ・_・)ノ
that's not why hannibal eats people
(ｏ・_・)ノ
it's okay. she's feeling back at home
STEPH 2.0🔪
HANNINAL WILL FIND HIM VERY SCARY AS HE'S GNAWING ON HIS GIBLETS
simple dog
he eats people because his name rhymes with cannibal so it's required
(ｏ・_・)ノ
hannibal will roll his eyes and make a wry comment using a metaphor referencing some old italian painter's work
(ｏ・_・)ノ
he eats people because he thinks he's god
STEPH 2.0🔪
okay so wade will become a viking and eat his heart and gain his power
simple dog
please don't make peter have to pry your own finger out of your mouth like you're a two year old who found a stale cracker under the couch
STEPH 2.0🔪
he's gonna go throw rocks at logan
(ｏ・_・)ノ
simple dog
(ｏ・_・)ノ
peter it's okay. wade's feeling insecure and he needs to prove to himself that he's tough
(ｏ・_・)ノ
just keep reminding him how much you care about him
STEPH 2.0🔪
HE DOESNT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING
simple dog
you got it -- 
STEPH 2.0🔪
(ｏ・_・)ノ
just keep reminding him how much you care about him
simple dog
I CARE ABOUT YOU PUNCHES IN THE HEAD
PUNCHES IN THE HEAD
STEPH 2.0🔪
(ｏ・_・)ノ
ah. romance
(ｏ・_・)ノ
alana's going to go have a bubble bath, secure in the knowledge that she has done good here
STEPH 2.0🔪
(ｏ・_・)ノ
