romantic sotrp
STEPH 2.0๐ช
romantic sotrp
romantic sotrp
STEPH 2.0๐ช
wade is happily in a relationship w Peter. he's pretty unhealthily co-dependent on the dude but it's fine he's fine everything is fine.
STEPH 2.0๐ช
they're schmoopy and it's cute
STEPH 2.0๐ช
even if they both definitely need therapy like ashlee said
simple dog
แดแดแดแดแดแด.
gross
แดแดแดแดแดแด.
(cute)
simple dog
... on the bright side at least most of that therapy is more for their own personal issues and not as much about the actual relationship.
simple dog
simple dog
WHO IN DEERINGTON DOESN'T NEED THERAPY!!!!
STEPH 2.0๐ช
แดแดแดแดแดแด.
: ur gross (cute)
STEPH 2.0๐ช
simple dog
: they could probably work some things out relationship wise
STEPH 2.0๐ช
wade willing to let Peter kill him if he wanted, peter feeling like he needs to save wade
simple dog
hey I said most of that therapy!!!
simple dog
... like 75% of that therapy
simple dog
... where are the deerington therapists
simple dog
we need to hire some
STEPH 2.0๐ช
wade would rather die
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
alana is here for you
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
and tell her, wade. why would you rather die
STEPH 2.0๐ช
no
no
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
all right then, she won't make you
simple dog
wade's instinct to run from actually healthy solutions: 
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
she'll just sit there in silence for the rest of the session and still charge you
simple dog
flawless
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
omg no, alana isn't like that
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
she'll talk to peter instead
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
wade can play with the dog outside
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
if there's a dog you do know peter isn't making it inside the door right
STEPH 2.0๐ช
its Wade's dog Peter has to go in wade is gonna hog the dog
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
wade, the dog belongs to alana. she is allowing you to pet it while she talks to your partner. antagonising him about it just means that alana will make sure the dog isn't here next time.
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
people start showing up to see the dog
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
instead of to get therapy
STEPH 2.0๐ช
wade will talk to u if u let him play w the dog
wade will talk to u if u let him play w the dog
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
gizmatico: hey if it gets them in the door. pet therapy is pretty sound
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
STEPH 2.0๐ช
: deal
simple dog
peter will just buy wade a robo-dog toy
simple dog
one of those tomogachi-styled keychains maybe
simple dog
close enough to a dog!!!
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
STEPH 2.0๐ช
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
: ok so it all started in west Philadelphia, where he was born and raised. on the playground where he spent most of his days.
STEPH 2.0๐ช
chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
okay but my kingdom for a therapist who's from before the 90s
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
who just sits there and listens to the whole song
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
taking notes
STEPH 2.0๐ช
LMAJRBE
STEPH 2.0๐ช
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
"and what is 'maxing'"
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
and tell me, Wade
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
when did you realise you were will Smith?
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
"how did it feel when your life got flip-turned upside down?"
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
are you paying yourself, or will uncle Phil drop off a cheque
STEPH 2.0๐ช
all of these feel like very judgemental questions. he thought he was here to open up
STEPH 2.0๐ช
to spread his metaphorical soul legs
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
As soon as he's ready to do that, she's here
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
until then, can he do the men in Black theme song?
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
sure hope he's wearing underwear
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
THE GOOD GUYS DRESS IN BLACK, REMEMBER THAT
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
JUST IN CASE WE EVER FACE TO FACE AND MAKE CONTACT
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
THE TITLE HELD BY ME, M I B, MEANS WHAT YOU THINK YOU SAW YOU DID NOT SEE
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
STEPH 2.0๐ช
he doesn't need to pay u to be insulted he can just sit in front of a mirror for free for an hour!!
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
he can just have a brief text conversation with clara for that
STEPH 2.0๐ช
YEAH
๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ โจ
STEPH 2.0๐ช
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
: wait tho
STEPH 2.0๐ช
does she like advertise
STEPH 2.0๐ช
can wade con pete into seeing her would he know to does she make her presence known
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
she will do a network post this month!
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
basically whenever I get around to setting up the character business and making a network post\
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
also you can't con people into seeing alana
STEPH 2.0๐ช
yes he can
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
she will only talk to people who want to be talked to
STEPH 2.0๐ช
sure jan
sure jan
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
that's right, marsha
STEPH 2.0๐ช
hes gonna
STEPH 2.0๐ช
simple dog
hES GONNA
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
peter you can come over and pat the dog and have coffee
STEPH 2.0๐ช
simple dog
HE'S JAZZED NGL
HE'S JAZZED NGL
STEPH 2.0๐ช
have fun baby, get a brain massage xoxo
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
he'll come back a changed man
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
wade just like how
STEPH 2.0๐ช
nah wade believes therapists work for people w functioning brains
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
well
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
come have a chat with her and she'll tell you about all the psycopaths she's worked with
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
no therapy involved, just stories of people with very weird brains
STEPH 2.0๐ช
he's willing to bet he has them all beat
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
uh huuuuh
STEPH 2.0๐ช
but nice try he's not falling for ur therapist seduction
simple dog
idk wade you don't
simple dog
like
simple dog
eat people
simple dog
so
STEPH 2.0๐ช
u dont know that
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
hey, peter don't spoil her stories
STEPH 2.0๐ช
THAT COULD CHANGE
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
she will dangle them over wade's head as a reward for self-disoclosure
simple dog
sure wade, sure
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
wade you haven't been a secret cannibal for forty years while being a successful and well-respected surgeon and then therapist who worked with the FBI while killing people to help them catch other killers
STEPH 2.0๐ช
dont make him be spiteful and chop off a finger and swallow it just to prove a POINT
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
auto-cannibalism doesn't count
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
auto-cannibals are dime a dozen
STEPH 2.0๐ช
YES IT DOES
STEPH 2.0๐ช
NO
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
it's okay wade
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
you don't have to compete with the criminally insane
STEPH 2.0๐ช
wade KILLS PEOPLE
wade KILLS PEOPLE
simple dog
but does he eat them or make them into lamps
simple dog
ur not as thug as you think buddy
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
did you keep a police officer in a pit for ten years and then send her arm to the fbi agent who was her mentor in order to help him have a mental breakdown so he wouldn't catch you
simple dog
you bake cakes and pies
STEPH 2.0๐ช
someone app hannibal Wade's gonna eat him to prove a point
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
wade, you know that eating someone doesn't make you better or scarier than them
simple dog
dont listen to him alana he literally made icy cucumber water and put peter in a bathrobe like 1 tag ago
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
that's not why hannibal eats people
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
it's okay. she's feeling back at home
STEPH 2.0๐ช
HANNINAL WILL FIND HIM VERY SCARY AS HE'S GNAWING ON HIS GIBLETS
simple dog
he eats people because his name rhymes with cannibal so it's required
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
hannibal will roll his eyes and make a wry comment using a metaphor referencing some old italian painter's work
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
he eats people because he thinks he's god
STEPH 2.0๐ช
okay so wade will become a viking and eat his heart and gain his power
simple dog
please don't make peter have to pry your own finger out of your mouth like you're a two year old who found a stale cracker under the couch
STEPH 2.0๐ช
he's gonna go throw rocks at logan
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
simple dog
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
peter it's okay. wade's feeling insecure and he needs to prove to himself that he's tough
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
just keep reminding him how much you care about him
STEPH 2.0๐ช
HE DOESNT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING
simple dog
you got it -- 
STEPH 2.0๐ช
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
just keep reminding him how much you care about him
simple dog
I CARE ABOUT YOU PUNCHES IN THE HEAD
PUNCHES IN THE HEAD
STEPH 2.0๐ช
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
ah. romance
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
alana's going to go have a bubble bath, secure in the knowledge that she has done good here
STEPH 2.0๐ช
(๏ฝใป_ใป)ใ
