Quinneapolis
[it's 2020 and I'm shitposting about naruto]
Quinneapolis
so, as has been discussed at length
Quinneapolis
in the boruto's son setting
Quinneapolis
hard work is basically completely meaningless and everything comes down to birthrights and bloodlines and inherent natural gifts
Quinneapolis
with Naruto repeatedly winning because he's a reincarnation of a god and has another god inside him who's also the son of the coolest ninja in history and another god vessel
Quinneapolis
if you're born with superior ninja dna, you can wage and win wars by yourself and will be stronger and better than everyone else for the rest of your life no matter what
Quinneapolis
if you aren't, you're cannon fodder who will be useless from birth to death and at best can stand around talking about how strong other cooler ninjas are
Quinneapolis
so I guess what I'm saying is
Quinneapolis
Sakura spending the whole series trying to get Sasuke's dick was really good tactical planning
EsperBot
I suppose so
TWO OF THEM
honestly yeah
Quinneapolis
she knew that she was born a side character
Quinneapolis
the only way to ensure a happy future for her children would be to give them god reincarnation super genes
Wild Child
i was wondering where this was going and was not disappointed
MundersOWundus
goddamn it
Usagi
i'm so glad i opened this
Quinneapolis
the main thing I think about when I think about the nonsense that is Naruto's setting is the Rinnegan
Quinneapolis
has history ever produced a more stupid, absurd special power than the rinnegan
Quinneapolis
if you have this specific magic eyeball, you can:
Quinneapolis
- See chakra and chakra points (Negi's entire powerset)
Quinneapolis
- See things that are invisible
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- Learn any technique instantly
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- Use all five ninja elements
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- Read indecipherable languages
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- Control gravity
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- Extract human souls
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- Absorb chakra from all attacks used against you
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- Summon kaiju
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- Raise the dead
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- Create indestructible chakra receivers
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- Summon god's corpse
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- seal gods
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- Teleport
Princess Emily
sounds like somebody's middle school OC
Quinneapolis
- Create corporeal shadows
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- Absorb and redirect attacks while also making them stronger
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- Turn people into snacks
Quinneapolis
that's what the rinnegan can do
Quinneapolis
also it's always on, for free
Quinneapolis
downside: none
Quinneapolis
oh no that's not true it can drive you crazy if you're not strong enough to use it
Quinneapolis
but the only way to fix that is to be born stronger
Usagi
EsperBot
The Rinnegan is hilarious. Like, the Sharingan got a bit bloated but the Rinnegan just has no defined power set.
Quinneapolis
Naruto is a story about how hard work can triumph over natural talent
Quinneapolis
the main character is a hybrid god-king and vessel for another god, trained by a host of gods and kings
Princess Emily
also the reincarnation of something something I didn't actually read the end of naruto
Quinneapolis
he's literally the reincarnation of the son of god
Quinneapolis
Naruto is the second coming of christ
Beans
but y'know, he's the underdog you gotta cheer for
Quinneapolis
when Negi fights Naruto, he insults Naruto's ideals by saying that only people born with gifts can become Hokage
Quinneapolis
Naruto proves him wrong by using the god chained to his soul to overload his chakra points and continue fighting long enough that Negi gets real tired and Naruto beats him with one lucky punch
Quinneapolis
I just realized I said boruto's son instead of boruto's dad
Quinneapolis
boruto's son, naruto
Quinneapolis
Naruto is an insufferable jackass because everyone ignored him as a child so he had to act out to get attention
Quinneapolis
Boruto is an insufferable jackass because it's genetic I guess
Dragons Dragons
Boruto's dad's son
Quinneapolis
I mean Naruto is absolutely a terrible dad
Quinneapolis
basically the only thing I know about him in Boruto is that he sends shadow clones to his daughter's birthday parties
Princess Emily
I mean Salad is the only kid that's not a direct clone of a parent, so
Quinneapolis
is she not hinata
EsperBot
Salad is Sakura’s daughter
Quinneapolis
oh I'm thinking of himawari
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
remember when the byakugan was stated to be even better and cooler than the sharingan
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
and then
Usagi
and then
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