Neo Quinn
[it's 2020 and I'm shitposting about naruto]
Neo Quinn
so, as has been discussed at length
Neo Quinn
in the boruto's son setting
Neo Quinn
hard work is basically completely meaningless and everything comes down to birthrights and bloodlines and inherent natural gifts
Neo Quinn
with Naruto repeatedly winning because he's a reincarnation of a god and has another god inside him who's also the son of the coolest ninja in history and another god vessel
Neo Quinn
if you're born with superior ninja dna, you can wage and win wars by yourself and will be stronger and better than everyone else for the rest of your life no matter what
Neo Quinn
if you aren't, you're cannon fodder who will be useless from birth to death and at best can stand around talking about how strong other cooler ninjas are
Neo Quinn
so I guess what I'm saying is
Neo Quinn
Sakura spending the whole series trying to get Sasuke's dick was really good tactical planning
EsperBot
I suppose so
boat guy bad?
honestly yeah
Neo Quinn
she knew that she was born a side character
Neo Quinn
the only way to ensure a happy future for her children would be to give them god reincarnation super genes
Like a Phoenix
i was wondering where this was going and was not disappointed
napalm era
goddamn it
Usagi
i'm so glad i opened this
Neo Quinn
the main thing I think about when I think about the nonsense that is Naruto's setting is the Rinnegan
Neo Quinn
has history ever produced a more stupid, absurd special power than the rinnegan
Neo Quinn
if you have this specific magic eyeball, you can:
Neo Quinn
- See chakra and chakra points (Negi's entire powerset)
Neo Quinn
- See things that are invisible
Neo Quinn
- Learn any technique instantly
Neo Quinn
- Use all five ninja elements
Neo Quinn
- Read indecipherable languages
Neo Quinn
- Control gravity
Neo Quinn
- Extract human souls
Neo Quinn
- Absorb chakra from all attacks used against you
Neo Quinn
- Summon kaiju
Neo Quinn
- Raise the dead
Neo Quinn
- Create indestructible chakra receivers
Neo Quinn
- Summon god's corpse
Neo Quinn
- seal gods
Neo Quinn
- Teleport
Princess Emily
sounds like somebody's middle school OC
Neo Quinn
- Create corporeal shadows
Neo Quinn
- Absorb and redirect attacks while also making them stronger
Neo Quinn
- Turn people into snacks
Neo Quinn
that's what the rinnegan can do
Neo Quinn
also it's always on, for free
Neo Quinn
downside: none
Neo Quinn
oh no that's not true it can drive you crazy if you're not strong enough to use it
Neo Quinn
but the only way to fix that is to be born stronger
Usagi
EsperBot
The Rinnegan is hilarious. Like, the Sharingan got a bit bloated but the Rinnegan just has no defined power set.
Neo Quinn
Naruto is a story about how hard work can triumph over natural talent
Neo Quinn
the main character is a hybrid god-king and vessel for another god, trained by a host of gods and kings
Princess Emily
also the reincarnation of something something I didn't actually read the end of naruto
Neo Quinn
he's literally the reincarnation of the son of god
Neo Quinn
Naruto is the second coming of christ
Gloomy
but y'know, he's the underdog you gotta cheer for
Neo Quinn
when Negi fights Naruto, he insults Naruto's ideals by saying that only people born with gifts can become Hokage
Neo Quinn
Naruto proves him wrong by using the god chained to his soul to overload his chakra points and continue fighting long enough that Negi gets real tired and Naruto beats him with one lucky punch
Neo Quinn
I just realized I said boruto's son instead of boruto's dad
Neo Quinn
boruto's son, naruto
Neo Quinn
Naruto is an insufferable jackass because everyone ignored him as a child so he had to act out to get attention
Neo Quinn
Boruto is an insufferable jackass because it's genetic I guess
Ji-snow
Boruto's dad's son
Neo Quinn
I mean Naruto is absolutely a terrible dad
Neo Quinn
basically the only thing I know about him in Boruto is that he sends shadow clones to his daughter's birthday parties
Princess Emily
I mean Salad is the only kid that's not a direct clone of a parent, so
Neo Quinn
is she not hinata
EsperBot
Salad is Sakura’s daughter
Neo Quinn
oh I'm thinking of himawari
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
remember when the byakugan was stated to be even better and cooler than the sharingan
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
and then
Usagi
and then