[Prisma???][Mute] aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA gonna take my anxiety-ridden screams out of lox's plurk and into here

i know that on a logical level that i am fine

the comment was up for literally only one minute before i realized my mistake and fixed it

but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA god i haven't felt this anxious in FOREVER

even college apps haven't provoked this kind of response out of me

does it have to do with my hrt? haven't been able to refill my estradiol for a few days and i've been a total mess for all of them

got so anxious i contorted myself into such a position that i ripped open a new hole n my jeans right above the ass AHAHAHAHA

I’m sorry you’re feeling so anxious! Anxiety over rp is never any fun and can lead to not being able to really enjoy it as a hobby. But I hope it’s nothing that can’t be let alone. You did erase the comment. I’m sure they understand that it was an accident.

to be more accurate i edited it which my brain is trying to convince me is worse somehow,

Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s what editing is for.

Logic doesn’t tend to win against anxiety though. It’s not always easy to think your way out of a panic induced situation.

yep

Shh... you got this.

thanks lizzie

<3

I think the root of it is that I tackled the app in a way that made a lot of sense to me but I'm. Pretty certain won't make sense to anyone else.

i was like "oh okay let's go through her timeline chronologically and point out what each event says about her" then only after it was done and polished did i realize that is not? how apps are written? but i was tired and i really didn't want to have to write the whole thing again from scratch so i just said fuck it and submitted