[cw: elf sex talk] so I was reading a summary of all the information that the Tolkiens wrote about elves for a game I’m running, and there’s a certain point where I’m like “was this really a necessary bit of world building?”

So anyways elves don’t celebrate their birthdays, they celebrate the day their parents fucked.

like the first time or just whatever time they think made them

that is the natural progression of "life begins at conception"

elves also consider sex to be their marriage ceremony

...well damn

that is ALSO the natural progression of "you can't have sex before marriage"

Yeah the whole thing has a very Christian Values vibe to it

are elves just Super Fundamentalists?

Basically

It gets worse but I don’t want to go there

Tolkien was Hella Catholic

Tolkien translated the Bible

Which is like... Catholicism Bonus Points

(I have no idea WHY my dad was looking at the foreword to his Bible but he was very excited )