(the last one isn't published, but it is what a published film critic actually submitted as his review which was, perhaps unsurprisingly, rejected. props for trying my dude, i'm counting it)
one review just does the thing where they put the actor in parentheses after each character name but for Jason DeRulo, they put down "Jason DeRulo, Horny" like it's a title like "Esq." or "MD"
(oh, the thing Hooper said at the premiere was something to the tune of "what you are about to see is a cautionary tale on the dangers of tribalism" or something like that)
sorry just imagined sitting down to watch a faithful adaptation of the stage production and then 20 minutes in, Rum Tum Tugger finds a conch and it goes off the rails
when the trailer dropped, it was all any of my Film Twitter friends were talking about so i HAD to watch it
but i happened to be on a packed Greyhound to Albany at the time and suddenly became afraid someone would see my screen and bellow "THERE'S CHILDREN ON THIS THIS BUS, YOU SICKO"
this FridayTODAYmarch to the beat of your own drum, my dude
Oh boy.
like, someone noticed that sometimes Rebel Wilson's hands would be the color of her jacket, sometimes the color of her character's proper fur
but i happened to be on a packed Greyhound to Albany at the time and suddenly became afraid someone would see my screen and bellow "THERE'S CHILDREN ON THIS THIS BUS, YOU SICKO"