i've been ignoring stomach pain for like 3 days now but it's not necessarily getting worse but it's just persistent. However there's not really any other crohn's things going on. like. idk. I only have a finite amount of prednisone left so idk whether to put myself on another round of it or wait to see if it gets worse >>

and it's definitely crohn's pain like it's definitely MY INTESTINES RAW FEELING

kind of like an rubbing alcohol on open wound pain but inside my body

~_~

and i guess reallyt he reason it doesn't go away is because I haven't stopped eating

and it's the process of digesting that's painful

like i can time it and know when the pain will start according to when i last ate

but there's no nausea

heck there's not even any diarrhea which kind of makes me wonder if that's what makes it hurt

also good god i really need a mental break like a staycation thing

because a vacation is imposible but it's so hard here

i remember how easy it was to stay overnight in a casino on nights wehre they had really cheap rooms for locals and it just... was always so refreshing to just be away from home and everything

like i'm so anxious and stressed all the fucking time

and being home i feel stressed and anxious too

so it's not just a work thing like i'm constantly on edge about nate and sammy too i guess

like it'd be nice to spend the weekend in indy in a semi-decent hotel and go to some bars that have live music or something

hit up the museums during the day

or the zoo or something

just not be...here

i am only ever here, work or my mom's house

anyway yeah in pain and whiny and just

been really really depressed lately and trying to hide it lmfao

it's just exhausting to constantly fight anxiety brain because i know how it can affect work and i need it not to

whines about stomach pain tho forreals

I spoke too soon about nausea round of prednisone here we go

take care, kit

I’ll do my best

I literally can’t call off this week Bc mike is out of town like in Florida out of town so no one else knows how to do the kitchen but me

And I can’t afford to miss a day anyway

But I just wanna curl up and die I should have started the prednisone days ago but it was manageable levels and sometimes it does just go away

I would give my right arm to have $200 to go see the gi doctor

I mean idk how I would get the biologic I need but sometimes the have samples

Tries not to throw up ;;

Just not gonna eat tomorrow