[rl/mental health/venting, mute]

me, half an hour ago: hey mom I’d like to talk to a psychologist to figure out what is going on in my head that there’s a low level of anxiety that spikes too often
me, right now: Oh Yeah Now I Remember Why I Don’t Tell You About My Issues

I love my mom, I really do, but she has a way of somehow blowing up things like this into a big thing and somehow making me feel bad bc her problems are worse

and they are but the way she does it feels like it’s invalidating how I feel - and it gets especially egregious when I just said I wanted one session to confirm my suspicions

she told me straight up that I don’t trust myself and I have to know myself first, and I just want to shake her bc for god’s sake, I do know myself, and I am pretty sure this anxiety is not fucking normal

she also told me that I read and watch too much, which is why I have that problem, which is. weird, bc like 90% of what I watch is fantasy, sci-fi and superhero stuff

she’s not wrong that I do have to get up off my ass and start actively looking for a job, so that’s a point to her

but everything else is just. Mom I Just Wanted A Yes/No Answer.

I Did Not Need A Whole Lecture While Eating Chicken

also she said something like “maybe I should go abroad so you can find yourself, after all you just want money” and. no. how did you get there. how did we get there from me asking to get some help.

that's one hell of a conclusion

I only needed to know if you were going to drive me there or not gah

anyway this is why I dread having to tell my parents anything about my issues bc it leads to this and it’s like “Welp.”

also she didn’t know why I wanted someone not biased about me and told me that she had none. that’s. not possible, you’re my mom, you are too close, you are very biased.

ooh boy
sorry ma, ur a little too close to be unbiased!!