[mental health] Why can I never talk myself out of feeling depressed when I am forced to take time off because I'm sick? I can feel the argument gearing up about how I'm a bad person for cancelling plans. GDI, brain.

I have deliberately decided to do nothing today, to get better, and I can already feel myself tensing into recrimination over it.

that's rough

I know it's wrong, that this is the right decision, and yet I feel crummy about it. IT's so stupid.

Maybe if I do a few things around the house I'll feel less bad about shirking other activities.

It could be partially because of how busy you usually are?

Like... not doing anything feels “wrong”?

it does

LIke I definitely don't feel that about other people, it's a visceral, "oh shit you're not doing right" which defies logic or reason

It's that deep-seated shame

But anyway, now I feel very whiny! I am sorry.