Alexceptional
[RL/Rant of a sort/It's supposed to be like a life update buuuuut... hrmn]:
Alexceptional
Guys, I'm fucking exhausted
Alexceptional
And I don't mean that because it's 1am+ here. But I wanna put this somewhere and ... well, as the topic will turn to, you guys are it.
Alexceptional
I've been letting myself get walked on a lot of late and I swear there would be footprints etched onto my back if this weren't figurative. And frankly, I feel blatantly... abandoned?
Alexceptional
This isn't a Lonely because I'm abroad thing. Because that's never entirely been the case because I usually have some presence online
Alexceptional
But that presence, up until now, got shot in the foot back in October. A lot of things got shot in the foot in October and I never updated this side of the internet
Alexceptional
Partly because... it was and still is a lot to deal with. Like storybook betrayal
Alexceptional
So ESO is my go-to constant MMO that I take breaks from but always yo-yo back to eventually. It helps that the community I have been apart of has withstood time by MMO standards.
Alexceptional
Well, back in October, we learned some disturbing things about the guild leader and in less than a week ties were cut, a three-year old guild was torn apart brick by brick and those of us "courageous" enough to confront to evil-doer decided to go our own way.
Alexceptional
The foundation and all of its bricks I put in myself while another took credit as he claimed the newly found guild his own. And so with some reassurance from others that we could branch off a third split for our own, I bowed out and tried to make sure the new guild I was leaving, despite personal feelings, would be okay without doing the heavy lifting
Alexceptional
or my doing the heavy lifting. That guild is still running and is nothing like the foundation I had set which makes me not regret my ultimate decision to leave because it's not what I wanted to see in a guild at all, especially an RP guild.
Alexceptional
But the thing that leaves me perhaps more upset is that third branch never happened and those people that reassured me... I'm not sure what to say here
Alexceptional
If I asked for help, if I asked for attention, I believe they would give it. But otherwise, there is no contact. I need to hunt for it and even then, I feel as though I am a bother for any reminders or expressions of my own wishes because they just don't align with theirs at this time
Alexceptional
And that's okay. But there's more going on.
Alexceptional
Work is okay. Okay. I was sick ALL of December and that left consequences. I lost a lot of my classes because the parents complained I was sick too often
Alexceptional
I am supposedly transferring, trying to be transferring to an adult learning center within the same company because adults are usually less germy
Alexceptional
But that means I'm in career climb limbo until this transfer occurs
Alexceptional
At 6 months I am supposed to be reviewed for a potential raise and it's now almost 8 months and that hasn't happened and is likely not going to happen
Alexceptional
So honestly, I feel quite forgotten
Alexceptional
And there's more but overall just oof.
Alexceptional
I don't want to feel as though complaining and raising hell is necessary to be recognized or respected
Alexceptional
With friends or at work
Alexceptional
But it feels as though if I don't force them, the royal we of a them, to look my way then they straight up won't
Alexceptional
And if I do force them, will the response be a "Gosh, you don't have to yell." or whatever?
Alexceptional
Merrill is sleeping on my arm as I'm typing this all and at least I have my loyal kitten. But I'm so close to saying fuck the rest because like all hell I get any credit for helping or being there when someone else needs something, or being understanding when I have every right not to be, or just being respected for work done or efforts made.
Alexceptional
I can do a few selfless things but this goes beyond a few and I'm just tired of it
Alexceptional
Let me correct that. A few selfless things, or doing something for a friend, or for the betterment of whatever, whoever. But there's a whole lot of... nothing I'm getting back or worse, this abandonment situation that
Alexceptional
I dunno, I'm just trying to define a complaint to make it sound less like I'm whining and more like there is a genuine problem.
Alexceptional
Insert 12 more replies of self-doubt and wonderment of self-worth
Alexceptional
In other news. I bought some air plants and they are my children and hopefully I won't kill them. One is called a bulbosa and it's name is Bulby after my very first Pokemon, Bulbasaur, ever. Yes, I do play favorites with my plant children. The others will be named once I have time to think again.
Alexceptional
Merrill is learning the hard way - by way of spray bottle spontaneous showers - not to consume the plant children. Kitten is still in training. Will update on her progress.
Alexceptional
Alexceptional
BEHOLD, MY PLANT CHILDREN
Alexceptional
There are 3 others not present in this photo, but they are actual plants and not air plants.
Alexceptional
Anyway, life update over. Time to shower and attempt to chug Vitamin C as I can feel another illness coming on. Hoorah
ᴅʀᴇᴀᴅ ɢᴏᴅᴅᴇss
ᴅʀᴇᴀᴅ ɢᴏᴅᴅᴇss
I'm sorry; this sounds like it's been SO FUCKING MUCH
Alexceptional
Thank you both, and I'll be certain to update on the plant babies - if they make it 
Alexceptional
Air plants are supposed to be sensitive brats with water and light sources and it's gonna be and learning curve to figure what the need at different times of year
Alexceptional
a* learning.... autocorrect on Chinese phones at its finest
Fallen
Air plants are actually SUPER hardy!
Fallen
My sister left hers behind when she moved to CA so my mom has just been taking care of them since and they have survived for several years now
Fallen
She literally doesn't do anything beyond soak them in water once or twice a month
Fallen
They sit on a windowsill and are perfectly happy there
Fallen
They pup on a regular basis too so the garden has been slowly expanding...
Alexceptional
I do not possess a windowsill so light may be an issue
Alexceptional
Buuut that's good news
Fallen
Yeah my mom had no idea what to do with them but she has managed to keep them all alive and happy
Alexceptional
That's good, I'll let you know how my endeavors go
Fallen
Good luck with them!
Alexceptional
Thaaaaaaanks 
Fallen
Also I am sorry things have been so rough lately, I had been wondering why you hadn't plurked for a while but I figured you had just been busy 
Alexceptional
Busy is definitely part of it, this part is also true
Fallen
Yeah, and December is when life always happens full-force
Alexceptional
Mine kinda... didn't. I was very much bedridden and only worked like 3 days the whole month
Alexceptional
Bronchitis and a sinus infection at the same time hurts your stamina a bit 
Fallen
Ugh, I'm sorry
Fallen
Either of those by itself is bad enough
Alexceptional
Ya shit, they basically fed off of each other and made the symptoms worse. But that's over now. At the moment I just have a cold. A step up, really