[rl] so. SO. I just found out that we're short by about 1000 on the rent. Because I was trying so hard to stay focused on keeping my job that I. made the mistake of thinking that mom's payday was on nov second. it is not. And I won't know what my options are until the 31st. when i know if i still have a job or not.

because scenario 1) i don't have job. they'll have to pay out my next week's pay early, which with my paycheck I'd already get on thurs- puts us in the clear and might, might even leave some money for the ny trip I already have tickets for.

however scenario 2) If i'm still employed means that I'd have to put my entire paycheck, AND cancel my tickets (and hope the refund is quick) towards rent, and still be short 200$, plus have no food money.

scenario 2 is great longterm, but sucks shortterm, while the reverse exc exc.

And just. feel awful because I could try commissions for logo/vector/graphic design/colorist/icons work but historically my commission posts don't have a great spread? so I can't count on that as a surefire out.

so yes hi I'm a neurotic mess for the third week in a row

Ooof. Both of those things are very rough :|

I mean, I hope you keep having the job, because long term income is good but.... :c no trip would be unfortunate

ltmutiny : I TRIED TO LIKE. TELL YOU ON DISCORD but yes. iiiii have no idea what's going on?

because family was down with me taking a trip as long as rent was paid, which i thought it would be!

but. nope. nope. I did not math this right.

Oh no, I'm so sorry! Really hoping things work out

ltmutiny : so. yeah I ran the numbers and even if I get canned I don't have enough to cover rent so. I'm... gonna need to cancel my tickets. again

like even if rent were covered, I wouldn't have enough money to pay for luggage fees, much less food and admission.

*admission to museums

oh hon, I'm sorry

i... yeah. I may have had a wee bit of a breakdown in the shower.

this. just keeps happening.

it does and it's very incredibly unfair

....and they won't give me money back for the cancellation. again.

so right now I haven't cancelled yet, and when I do I get like. a 150$ credit with them. which. good if i ever get a job again. notsogreat otherwise.

oh hun...

Yeah like. hilariously I could change the flight to early December- around my birthday- but because of the transfer fee I'd end up paying an additional 150$ that way

either way I'll know what to to on wed. just. I hate everything right now.

I keep hoping for one of those "community comes together and does something nice for the person who got shit on", but. those don't happen in real life.

And I need to stop pretending that I'll ever really make a dent in climbing up the economic ladder. I'm just a cripple who's too broken and worthless to hold down a job, and too talent-less to make it in any form of creative measure.

I'm very sorry

You are definitely not worthless in any way, Copper

Oh honey /hugs

You’re definitely not worthless

absolutely not worthless