فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/6A3ZQ07t8wn6TWi0tx1erh.png "No one elected these people. No one elected the resistance. " that's right, you appointed them
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
who writes these emails
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
it sounds like some sort of young adult dystopian novel
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
THEY CONSIDER THEMSELVES ~AGENTS OF GOOD
And I`m QV
do they realize they sound like saturday morning cartoon villains
Winterri
... Actually, these emails might not make bad writing prompts in that vein.
And I`m QV
a question I find myself asking with fucking alarming frequency
I ARE SOPHIE
tahdis: i was thinking the novel thing too XDD
فك يو
so many of the NRCC emails sound super dystopian it's true
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
lmsfsk like who reads these and goes "wow that sounds real and not like some twenty-something aspiring writer copying the hunger games"
فك يو
like i make fun of the democratic superPAC ones for being goofy ("you haven't signed yet; does this mean you want Trump to CANCEL Rachel Maddow?!?!?!"), but these are the ones that make me leans back from my computer like
فك يو
okay my emotes won't load but i'm sure you can picture the emote that should go there
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
laughing at "cancel"
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
you didn't sign this petition so this means this person is erased from existence, thanks THANOS
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/7AyQLGxHRjmzOBn6I4BwAT.png https://images.plurk.com/5g8H19rPTQGRwaiVq7KnnD.png i get some variation of this several times a week
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
what the fuck is that guilt trippy garbage
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
its like!! you don't even!!! care!!!!!!!?!??!?!?!
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
all these email writers are fired
فك يو
they are amazingly guilt-trippy; if i get anything from equalitypac or actblueprogressive or w/e they're called it's "oh boy, here we go" time
فك يو
on the one hand i can't completely blame them because i'm sure it works
فك يو
but on the other hand i don't donate to PACs because i think it's much less effective than supporting individual causes/candidates so /kanyeshrug
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
it works the same way that people who write surveys with EXTREMELY biased questions work
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
which is to say it doesnt bc your data is skewed if you write some shit like "do you think trump is the best president, yes or less yes"
فك يو
GOD they send a lot of surveys too and they're also hilarious for the same reasons (partly because their surveys literally only exist to take you to a donation page after you submit)
فك يو
brb going back to look for some of my favorite ridiculous surveys
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/4g8JiFTdbUPrNkRNduew.png
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
LMAO LOOK AT THAT BIAS
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
thats like survey writing 101 "don't phrase your questions like this"
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/4Cl3Zvnm9p82mhnUduew.jpg
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
ksdkfs
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
I WAS JOKING
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
"yes or less yes" was supposed to be a joke!!!!
فك يو
god, i'm trying to find my favorite one; it involved pictures of trump photoshopped next to lincoln and washington in a collage
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/4aXc73R0XRgkEbG2duew.jpg https://images.plurk.com/2TCSzBLQwFBE60quduew.jpg https://images.plurk.com/3tnbcycoBzFdqgQiduew.jpg https://images.plurk.com/5weOq7CtJHBfGqDpduew.jpg oh my god this one was also amazing
ѕαмѕα
this is nuts but i'm just. laughing.
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
yes or yes
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
LMAO
فك يو
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
HAHA I REMEMBER THAT ONE
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
jesus
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/4USMGE35j7BvxHmNduew.jpg here's more dystopia for you, Flurry
فك يو
"this is only available to conservatives who have proven themselves in the movement" wat
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
LMAOLKJhksjf
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
get used to it
فك يو
"we asked you to kill a relative for us and you did it without hesitation; you have proven yourself loyal today"
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
what a fucking terrible slogan???
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
are u 5
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
get this bottle now for only 25 dollars
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
so you too can be a smug asshole
فك يو
"we would like you to carry one of these hot new products around town" on the other hand sounds like a robot trying to be hip with the kids
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
it rly does
فك يو
"are they 5" https://images.plurk.com/3VLPdgRzxnG5IrZgV9ylse.png signs point to yes
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
LMAO liberal tears
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
jesus christ thats hilarious
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
i want that ornament
ᴀᴡ ʜᴇʟʟ 🔥
just for how ridiculous it is
فك يو
hang it loud hang it proud
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/jWdOPrpVxSBJ9CBoduew.jpg i'm just going through my old plurks and emails and reposting my favorites now tbh
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/6gICGhcDq7ER8P54Jv3YUa.jpg "no, i only vote for people whose opinions physically repulse me"
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/29v7vOqdPm1aDiT8So2GcK.jpg
titantoadstools
The first one should have gone on being more condescending: "Do you think "sneak" is a good word? Do you want to have people that sneak in the government?"
titantoadstools
I snorted at "I only vote for people whose opinions physically repulse me." Is that really real?
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/39K7U3EyMxPYoTdOduew.jpg please don't use the term "nuclear option" NRCC it makes me uneasy
ᴜʀʙᴀɴ ʟᴇɢᴇɴᴅ
Stares into the sun
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/3ZUDISCJkCS0hrxC7TQlD7.png wait, "public places"? i thought those were private businesses that could choose who to serve or not serve based on "sincerely held convictions"
فك يو
but i guess telling a Trump staffer that you won't serve them in your restaurant is totally different from telling a gay couple you won't sell them a cake; my mistake
فك يو
also because i'm on the dystopia kick now
فك يو
"we saw it every time they threatened the president with their resistance" combed from the script of mockingjay part 2
فك يو
honestly i feel like this has meme potential
فك يو
someone start a tumblr photoshopping these quotes on top of pictures of seneca crane and shit
Luke Skywanker
I donated to Doug Jones' campaign through ActBlue (I think?) and like THIRTY SECONDS after giving them money I got an email about "why don't you give us a little money?"
Luke Skywanker
DUDE CASH MY CHECK FIRST
فك يو
typical
bluecanary
i actually for real do not want to set a precedent that unelected people within the white house can or should do whatever they want to impede progress of an elected executive....
bluecanary
the author of the NYT op-ed referred to themselves as a member of the "resistance" and theres....a lot of issues there....

but all these propaganda surveys just remind me that like. everything is going to be hilariously bad no matter what we say or do so who cares
bluecanary
"yes or yes" fuck these guys have SO MUCH money. nobody elects PACs either
bluecanary
[buries face in hands] its a comedy plurk i know. sorry
Luke Skywanker
OH yeah, it's fucked up. I'm not touting this person as a hero, either.
Luke Skywanker
Do your goddamn job and MAKE CONGRESS DO THEIRS
فك يو
on the one hand i agree but on the other hand i can't say i'm anything but relieved about some of the most dangerous ideas being taken off of Trump's desk before he can implement them
فك يو
BUT YES overall i agree
فك يو
(also these guys are still anti health care, pro immigrant detention centers, anti civil rights, etc.)
فك يو
and don't worry about saying this in a comedy plurk; i'm cool with mixing comedy with political anger
LiberBEARian
lulz I'm on the same email chains you are. It's wonderfully horrifying
LiberBEARian
who elects a resistance
LiberBEARian
that's why it's called a resistance
فك يو
i just love how they act like they wormed their way in their somehow against everybody's will; administration members are chosen
فك يو
they have no one but themselves to blame
فك يو
solidarity fistbump for hanging out on the NRCC email list to boggle, though
YawningDodo
I support Jon Tester (like with money) and I swear I get a fundraising email every day, if not two. Have stopped reading them.
YawningDodo
Like dude I agree with you and you’re getting all the money I have available for contributions on a monthly basis please stahp
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
https://images.plurk.com/2TCSzBLQwFBE60quduew.jpg LSKDGJLSKDGJSLDKG
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
thanks for getting these emails so we don't have to
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
god everything is so terrible... i have a hard time believing these people write this stuff sincerely, but i'm sure there's some folks who just lap it up
فك يو
yyyyup absolutely
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
actually i'm gonna revise and say, i'm SURE these people don't write this stuff sincerely, they're whipping up partisan furor and squeezing what money they can out of people who get caught up in it, but
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
god
فك يو
okay i'm coming back to this because i'm going through my funny email screencaps folder and i can't resist sharing, buckle in
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/1mMi3VO0KKz58R7orhXVLY.jpg
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/66aj0pCFRj4xop0IA1znJO.png what
فك يو
https://images.plurk.com/6ZCsyxPBtJSPiBGelS3ubA.png this dude is still awesome tho
bluecanary
ARE YAH LISTENING, HANNAH?
bluecanary
"aye aye, captain!"
bluecanary
I CAN'T HEAAAAR YOOOU
bluecanary
"aye aye, captain"
bluecanary
OOOOOOOOOH
bluecanary
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU STRAIGHT FROM UNDER THE SEA
bluecanary
SPONGE! BOB! SQUARE! PANTS!
bluecanary
WE FACE OUR FIRST DEADLINE AND NEED ONE BUCK FROM YE
bluecanary
SPONGE! BOB! SQUARE! PANTS!
bluecanary
IF GRASSROOTS AND PROGRESS BE SOMETHING YOU WISH
فك يو
are you sitting there trying to come up with a good rhyme for "wish" because i am too
bluecanary
plurk is blocking me for anti-flood rules
bluecanary
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
THEN WE NEED FIFTEEN DEMS BEFORE MIDNIGHTISH!
فك يو
perfect
فك يو
this is the best thing to have come out of one of these plurks tbh
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