all the way
Everything is exhausting.
transilience
all the way
work is exhausting.
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Talking to my ex is exhausting.
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Being blamed for the kid's behavioral issues is exhausting
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Being told that I need to figure out where she's going to go in May when her school gets out is exhausting
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Looking for apartments is exhausting.
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Because I rent a room because I cannot afford an apartment by myself, especially not one with two bedrooms.
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Looking at charter schools is exhausting.
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Everything about this is exhausting.
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I told him that her behavior wasn't going to get any better if he insisted upon keeping her away from me.
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And surprise surprise I was right.
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I am exhausted
transilience
guys like that are such great parents except when it comes to anything to do with actual parenting
transilience
and then they're like "i can't read suddenly idk"
transilience
gently surrounds you with blankets and pretty celebrity pictures
nan
oh gosh, that completely sounds totally exhausting.
nan
draws rejuvenating quiet hearts around you
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I don't even want to get into everything, otherwise we'd be here for decades.
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He just doesn't even care about the spot that he's putting me in.
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And won't do a damn thing to help, either.
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I'm glad to have her! I just wish I was in a better position TO have her.
transilience
yeah definitely.
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I don't have the time to deal with all of this.
transilience
offers e-hugs
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And he won't like the one school that i like because it's all about diversity.
transilience
I don't know from personal experience, but I have various friends with bastard exes.
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And that is a word that he hates.
transilience
OH NO. THE HORROR.
transilience
She might meet -- A LITTLE GIRL DIFFERENT FROM HER!!!!
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I'm all for it. College prep! Cool trips around the country / world? Heck yeah.
transilience
my god, it's like school is for EDUCATION or something
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But diversity is a no no for him.
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And then I'll get the 'blah blah blah teaching her Spanish"
transilience
I have some bad news for him about reality.
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Well, its' Arizona.
transilience
UGH
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And at some point, it's really gonna come in handy that she knows it.
transilience
RIGHT????
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Not to mention she'll have better job opportunities if she can pick it up and be bilingual.
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Like, so ... what's the problem here I don't understand.
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Oh, your racism, right, gotcha. That's the problem.
transilience
I'm sorry, dude, the Almighty Wall ain't gonna be up in time for you to shelter your kid from ever soiling her ears with a second language
transilience
suck it up.
transilience
as a white person with Relatives in Arizona, I can picture this mess clearly. :S
all the way
He's literally the worst.
transilience
(Why do people move to the FUCKIN SOUTHWEST if they can't handle the existence of Latinx and Native people. 
)
)
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Oh, he hates everybody everywhere.
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He's on in Yuma because he found a woman who doesn't mind that he's taken over her house car and money and doesn't work while she works two jobs.
transilience
cute
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It's less about WHERE, it's all about OPPORTUNITY.
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He sure as hell isn't coming here when she gets tired of it.
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NOPE.
transilience
True, I guess when you're a vicious selfish bigot you just find someone to shit on wherever you go.
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Yeah, but from all accounts, she's the exact same way.
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But he's always looking for something greener, so I'm sure he had a handful of other women just waiting in the wings.
transilience
well that's great then, they should be very happy being miserable together, they can give the kidlet back now. >:/
all the way
Yes, absolutely.
transilience
Ugh and yuck. I am so sorry you're in the middle of this shit.
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I knew it was going to happen eventually. At least he's given me a few months to try to figure things out. Fuck, he could've just dumped her on my doorstep without a word about it.
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I wouldn't put it past him.
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I won't say that he was always a bad father, but as she's gotten older it's become easier for him to be that way.
transilience
'Cause it's very important that she live in a bubble, but like, a bubble that he doesn't have to expend effort on
transilience
yeah, kids do not actually get easier!
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And I don't want to say that I told him so, but I definitely told him this was how she was going to behave if he uprooted her from where she was at and THEN restricted contact between us.
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Since he's totally the better parent and everything and I'm just trash.
transilience
SHOCKER
transilience
Area Child Actually Attached To Her Mother!
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Yeah, and he's said on more than one occasion that it's time to cut the apron strings.
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Like what kind of bullshit is that I don't
transilience
...the apron strings.
transilience
Because you're the one who's terrified of exposing her to The Diversities.
transilience
The logic is not strong with this guy.
transilience
"you're just BABYING her by letting her associate with riffraff!" okay sure buddy
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Something something Liberals
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and But Her Emails.
transilience
plays the tiniest violin for him
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I mean I'm sorry that I don't want her thinking that it's okay to hate people because they're different than her.
transilience
yeah how OVERPROTECTIVE AND CLINGY of you!!11
transilience
Consistency is a dirty librul plot I guess.
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I'm literally just counting the days until she's 18 and we don't have to deal with him ever again.
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4 more years.
transilience
ughhhh yeah.
transilience
wow, he really thought cutting A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD off from her primary caregiver was gonna work out well?
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He really thought that it was.
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She was having a hard time in school, but she was getting better.
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And he expects straight A's, and c'mon.
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That's being too tough on her.
transilience
uh YEAH
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I just wanted her to PASS.
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Like, I don't know, maybe she's acting out because you're so hard on her about everything all the time.
transilience
show me the 14 year old who ISN'T struggling in school tbh
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Especially in this day and age.
transilience
God, seriously, it was grim enough when I was in middle school
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I had a hard time in school at that age, too. And it wasn't nearly as difficult as what she's doing.
transilience
yeah for real!!
transilience
it's ROUGH even with two supportive parents
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So I'm like, I don't know, maybe there's a lot of unnecessary pressure on her, maybe you should let up a bit.
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But since you won't let me talk to her, how am I supposed to know.
transilience
he won't let you talk to her and yet he's prepared to just... dump her back on you bc he's tired of her having actual emotions and shit?
all the way
Of course she's angry. She found a bunch of love letters from two girlfriends ago and now she KNOWS that her dad is a lying cheater.
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Maybe that has something to do with it, as well. Call me crazy
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That is pretty much it, yeah.
transilience
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
transilience
What could be the connection here, it's just baffling
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The world may never find out.
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Add to that the fact that I KNOW they're telling her that I want nothing to do with her, of course she's unhappy.
transilience
oh lovely
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Not that I wish to bring it up to her or anything but I wasn't given a choice when it came to letting her live with him for school.
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I was told this is how it's going to be.
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And since he was more settled, I really didn't have any recourse.
transilience
yeahhhhh
transilience
I mean I don't know your circs at all, but I feel like that's info she has a right to know
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I didn't just drop her off and say see you later.
transilience
especially if he's been lying to her about it
transilience
god, why do some people have kids when it's obvious what they want is a furby?
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I mean, I've talked to her about it, but it was more along the lines of 'we think you might do better at a different school' not 'dad is an asshole and wants to take you away from me'
transilience
oh yeah, but I mean like
transilience
if it comes up or if she's like "dad said xyz"
transilience
you can be like "well idk why he said that because it's not true"
all the way
Oh, yeah, we've had those discussions, too.
transilience
Sorry unsolicited parenting advice
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About all sorts of topics.
transilience
yeah
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Ranging from 'why do dad and koko call you white trash'
transilience
Oh, that's rich.
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to 'dad says you don't love me because you don't text him every day to see how i am'
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Oh, and I'm lazy, too, even though for the majority of our marriage, I was the only one that worked. And I seem to be working now and he isn't.
transilience
:|a MYSTERIOUS
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I did text him once a week and he ignored those texts. And he won't talk to me other than through text SO
transilience
it's almost like she's a human being who can tell when she's being fucked with!
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SHOCKING
transilience
and not his personal talking Skipper!
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Four more years until we don't have to deal with him anymore
transilience
draws supportive hearts
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Just gotta manage until then.
transilience
Yeah, just that minor detail. :S
transilience
I'm really sorry things are like this for you.
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It's alright, I'll be okay. I'll figure something out.
transilience
I am sure you will. e-hug You sound like you are legitimately doing the best you can, which cannot be overvalued.
all the way
Trying to get through one disaster to another as best I can.
transilience
yeeeeep pretty much.
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Adult life, so much fun.
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SO MUCH FUN.
transilience
sdjfklslf like I am not a parent myself, but I have a lot of feelings about parents who maybe aren't paper doll perfect but are doing their damn best to get a small human safely to maturity with minimal damage ok
transilience
all the way
I have made my fair share of mistakes, but I'm learning. And I am doing what I can to make sure she's as well adjusted and prepared as possible
transilience
and that is super important and you have my admiration <3
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Thank you, I appreciate that. 
transilience
I might go over this a lot with my own mom, who is a lot better at momming than she gives herself credit for, so.
transilience
(And my dad, while a difficult person, was not a deliberately obstructive jackass out to sabotage her holy shitballs)
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It's really easy to fixate on the mistakes rather than the successes at least in my case.
transilience
Yeahhh.
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I only hope that she can find a way to get past whatever anger she's holding on to. :/
transilience
I hope so too.
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She's a good kid. She just needs an opportunity to thrive.
transilience
Listen, I have a brother like ten years younger than me, who had a rougher time as a kid than I did and mine was not a walk in the park. He's autistic, he acted out VIOLENTLY, school after school screwed him over, we had the police come bc another kid accused him of threatening to shoot up the police station &
transilience
he clashed with my dad and me continually, my mother used to be legit scared he would kill himself, and she would always say that exact thing about him, he's a good kid he just needs a chance and tl;dr a lot of shit happened, but he is 27 and he's no better off than the next millennial but he is still afloat
transilience
all of which is to say that I am absolutely sure you and your kidlet can get through this and she will be Okay.
all the way
And that means a lot to hear, too. I know it might not always be easy, or EVER be easy, but I know that we can do it.
transilience
Yes. :B
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And I'm glad to hear that he's doing alright, too. Or at least still fighting to BE alright.
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It's all we can do.
transilience
Yeah.
transilience
(I am also autistic, which is why I am loud and oversharey. Ahem. >_>)
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I don't mind, I just need people to talk to. It helps to know that I'm not alone.
transilience
You are definitely not. <3
transilience
here is an inspirational art for you.
here is an inspirational art for you.
all the way
Haha, yes, I love it.