Mouldy Apple
Plurk, I'm having a problem where I've discovered that most of my self worth is rooted in what I can contribute. Now that I'm unemployed, it's really fucking me up.
Triktriktrik
zooms in here to comfort you despite having no idea what to say besides how important you are to me
zooms in here to comfort you despite having no idea what to say besides how important you are to me
ArtIsArt
Self worth is hard.
ArtIsArt
Mine's rooted in what other people think of me.
ArtIsArt
So I feel you, after losing so many friends.
Mouldy Apple
Right now I can at least manage my irl value by progressively cleaning/improving the house, but that's really just... sort of a band-aid, and really only helps me get through, you know, living with Joe (who keeps telling me I'm bananas and to sit down lmao.)
LOVE☆STRUCK
Hi same
LOVE☆STRUCK
Grasps hand in solidarity
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
hmmm, is there something online you could be a part of that doesn't take the physical energy your job did?
Mouldy Apple
And like, arguably, I could probably stand to unpack how much of this comes from my mother and also capitalism, but even knowing that academically isn't stopping me from projecting this problem all over everything else I do.
Mouldy Apple
Uhhhh I mean, short of modding a game or something? I don't know. I'm in a hilarious position where I'm not allowed to make money so to some extent, no matter what I do, it's just going to be my "hobby."
LOVE☆STRUCK
Raile I can't believe I am saying this but
LOVE☆STRUCK
You do need another hobby
LOVE☆STRUCK
Perhaps one that can eventually be monetized
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
mhmm, I was thinking like. writing articles or doing something like -- yes
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
another hobby
LOVE☆STRUCK
But a not-RP one
ArtIsArt
Do you have any sort of manual dexterity and eye for color, by any chance? Because I have an idea.
LOVE☆STRUCK
Hobby no longer looks like a word
Mouldy Apple
ArtIsArt
: "Do you have any sort of manual dexterity." I have a fine motor impairment, actually. Motor dysgraphia. So... um. No.
ArtIsArt
I have a familial tremor.
ArtIsArt
And I manage to paint miniatures. But if you can't, that's off the table.
Mouldy Apple
Yeah, I can't even paint gunpla, I use to build those as a kid but I couldn't paint them because motor skills.
Mouldy Apple
I probably do need another hobby. I just... don't know where to get one, I guess. I like crosswords but you can only do so many of those.
ArtIsArt
Hmmm.
ArtIsArt
Maybe... photography? IDK, I'm thinking aloud.
Mouldy Apple
I'm still laughing at "Raile I can't believe I'm saying this"
Mouldy Apple
IT THAT BAD, LUC
Mouldy Apple
That said, a base metric: if I have to leave the house or go someplace to engage in the hobby, it's probably not a good pick.
LOVE☆STRUCK
IT'S VERY SHITTY TO JUST BE LIKE "well Raile, get good at not being bored"
LOVE☆STRUCK
U NEED A HOOOOBBY
Mouldy Apple
LMFAO NO IT'S FINE
LOVE☆STRUCK
What if you hand-crocheted with chunky yarns. That only requires a certain level of dexterity
Mouldy Apple
I might be able to do that. :Ia
HEY WOLFY
you contribute smiles to me. When I think of you being safe in a house with your husband and animals it makes my breathe a little easier
Mouldy Apple
I'm also battling uphill against my personality disorder here, which is like... "nothing interests you and you feel nothing" and is generally not a good baseline for developing interests. So things with finished products and tangible goals are probably a better pick.
HEY WOLFY
so you grant me that just by existing
HEY WOLFY
I hope it helps
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
y I was going to suggest the same with knitting and larger gauge needles
Mouldy Apple
HEY WOLFY
: That's... the sweetest sentiment ever. How dare you make me feel something.
LOVE☆STRUCK
The art of string knotting in various ways (isnt it macrame or something?) has saved me many complaints of boredom
Mouldy Apple
(I'm joking, I'm just bad at receiving sincerity.)
Triktriktrik
raile i never did send you
Mouldy Apple
Hmmm.
Triktriktrik
the rat i crochet'd for you
HEY WOLFY
(i know this)
HEY WOLFY
(but its still true. hang in there, Whiskers)
Triktriktrik
because it was supposed to just be practice for a Better One i made once i had tried it out
Triktriktrik
but i never did the second one because me finishing things
Mouldy Apple
Haha. I STILL HAVE A PACKAGE TO SEND YOU, DUDE, IT'S FINE.
Mouldy Apple
I'm over here... googling knitting now.
ArtIsArt
Knitting and crocheting are amazing.
Triktriktrik
you could get back into pokemon battling is another thing
Triktriktrik
i remember once talking with you about breeding a team
Triktriktrik
or was that somebody else :|a
ArtIsArt
I have joanns discounts, I can hook you up.
Mouldy Apple
Oh yeah... I DO ENJOY THE COMPETITIVE METAGAME--no that was me.
Triktriktrik
COOL
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
I love the internet because very slow videos that show you how to cast on and stuff are way better than how I first learned which was deciphering confusing directions and pictures that hopped too quickly
Triktriktrik
i will gladly Breed you a Pokes should you desire one i can help with
Mouldy Apple
Discounts are good. I'm a little leery of like... SPENDING MONEY right now, for obvious reasons. But I guess a holiday is also approaching.
Mouldy Apple
I could very easily be like, please give me a hobby for Christmas, please and thank you
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
you don't want to start with good yarn anyway
Triktriktrik
when does usum come out ?
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
tbh
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
based on what my first piece looked like...
Mouldy Apple
LOL
Mouldy Apple
Yeah I wouldn't have bought the good shit to start
ArtIsArt
I've got 60% off one normal priced item and 25% off all of purchase including sale items right now. And I was planning to give gifts to the local friends who made time for me, so I know what to give now.
Mouldy Apple
THAT'D BE SUPER....... THANK YOU
Mouldy Apple
And yeah also I can't guarantee I'll LIKE knitting, although god knows it can't be a worse hobby that World of Warcraft
Mouldy Apple
*than
Mouldy Apple
My hands are really on autopilot today, geez
LOVE☆STRUCK
Knitting n junk like that are just real good to keep ya hands busy even if you dont like the product tbh, i used to bead for the same reason
ArtIsArt
And I know you like fluffy, so fluffy yarn too.
Mouldy Apple
Yeah... I don't know how well this will work for the whole... contributing... part of my problem but at least I'll have less time to stew in it
Mouldy Apple
.... pls fluffy yarns........ every fluffy yarns.
duck bastard
another idea is...well, you know you're gr8 at writing, you could work on Magitroika-related stuff? it doesn't even have to be stuff going into the books, and honestly i trust you to write Chip well personally!
duck bastard
trying to think of other things that could eventually become money...
Mouldy Apple
I'd actually rather stay away from "eventually money" or I'm going to get focused on achieving that as a goal, my root problem is still that I feel the need to be "productive" and divorcing that from money would be great.
duck bastard
ahhh, okay!
Mouldy Apple
Like, the problem isn't even BOREDOM, it's that my root self worth is totally based in something that I'm currently destroying myself over??? If were only bored, I could just join infinite games and catch up on anime.
duck bastard
understandable
Mouldy Apple
And projecting this problem into RP is just gonna ruin the hobby for me, so what if I didn't do that either.
ArtIsArt
I'm headed to JoAnn Fabrics to use my coupons later anyway.
Mouldy Apple
I guess the problem is that I need to feel valued in a tangible way, like I'm essential to SOMETHING. Knitting is a good start, since it at least, you know, has achievable goals.
Mouldy Apple
I can't rely on roleplaying to feel like I have some kind of acknowledged impact.
Mouldy Apple
Now do I really want to, although boy I sure am tearing myself up over it right this moment.
W(erewolf)ILF
knitting/crochet def sounds like a good idea, yeah
Mouldy Apple
*Nor
ArtIsArt
Knitting and crocheting will also keep you warm in the cruel michigan winter.
𝖒𝖚𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖖𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖘
what if you did little things for joe/your friends like ficlets or cards or something?
Mouldy Apple
𝖒𝖚𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖖𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖘
: That seems kinda... dependent on fandoms, which is. Challenging. To keep up with.
𝖒𝖚𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖖𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖘
hmmm I mean you could put up a request post with the fandoms you do know or have any interest in coming to know?
𝖒𝖚𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖖𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖘
otherwise maybe like a pet advice blog? since a lot of people have pets and iirc you have dog training experience
Mouldy Apple
I had an experience with that kind of attention on Tumblr once already.... no thank you.
all the butts
is there some kind of volunteer work you can do? some of it may have time commitments but it won't be as much as a job so you might be able to keep up with it...
all the butts
usually places like animal shelters and libraries need volunteers
Mouldy Apple
all the butts
: If I could do it, like, one day a week, maybe?
Mouldy Apple
It'd be nice.
Mouldy Apple
Maybe two days a week if I'm feeling ambitious, but right now they actually have me doing obscene amounts of therapy for reasons kind of extraneous to my actual needs, so no more than that until I'm sure I can... handle it.
Mouldy Apple
The humane society is right around the corner from us, though
Triktriktrik
even just one day a week of volunteering would probably feel really good
all the butts
yeah! getting out of the house to do something would help, because it's kind of like work that way so it could help trick that part of your brain feeling like not working is not contributing
all the butts
but a lot of volunteering only needs a couple hours a week
all the butts
although they'll let you volunteer as much as you like, generally, so if you felt like doing more then you could
all the butts
i used to volunteer at the animal shelter and it's really easy but fun, but you still feel like you're helping and everything. i think they only needed like... 15 hours a month? and they were pretty lenient on it, too
Mouldy Apple
Triktriktrik
and in my experience the stuff they need done the most is like
Triktriktrik
washing dishes
Triktriktrik
doing laundry
Triktriktrik
simple stuff that has a big impact on how smoothly the shelter rusn
Triktriktrik
runs
W(erewolf)ILF
oooh yeah agree, shelter volunteering once a week could be good
all the butts
yeah, there's nothing too physical usually, unless you want to like... take the big dogs on a walk.
all the butts
most of it's easy stuff, or like... playing with cats to socialize them, etc.
duck bastard
yeah!! you should def go for that
Usagi
While knitting is a topic...corking is a good side option of it!! Very portable and easy, even when your hands are like. Numb popsicles. Plus you can cork with things that aren't even yarn if you feel, for interesting results
Mouldy Apple
W... what the heck is corking.
Usagi
It's also called spool knitting in some places..?
Mouldy Apple
..... I have no idea what this is, but I'm googling it now
Usagi
Yayyy
𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕖
oh I love corking