So after I told him off, he actually respected my boundaries and whatnot

But then he had to help some people move furniture so I was put on the back burner. I wasn't surprised, but I was disappointed.

Mike looked at the conversation and basically said it's the same shit, but new language, so I'm just falling for it again, but I do think Ricky is trying. I just think that old habits die hard.

And I realized that sounds like someone defending an abuser. SHIT

Great, now I sound more like a victim than before.

I don't even know what I want anymore. I sent a massive text dump this morning calling him out on this bullshit behavior and then saying why I don't like his girlfriend and what she did to hurt me.

Also while saying I didn't owe that to him, but I wanted to avoid the conversation so I just spit it out because I'm just tired

i'd say if he's trying to reach out and immediately doing the same kind of stuff, just recognize that he's not changing

I really hate how my knee jerk reaction is to make excuses, but my work productivity speaks for itself. I'm right back where I was months ago and it's been 2 or 3 days?

I've worked too hard to heal this much to be RIGHT back to where I was. It's going to be so difficult because I care so much, but it's what I need to do.

cutting someone out of your life sucks, but sometimes you just gotta do it

like i had to cut out the person i thought was my best friend for the last decade, and it can still be pretty rough sometimes

you'll miss them and want to give more opportunities to try again, but ultimately you can't force a person to change their behavior

I don't want to make anyone change because if they don't change without it being what THEY want, then it's not them.

so i understand a little bit on that front. hopefully things will continue to work out better for you and for him, even if it's not in a way where you can repair your relationship

I do too. I was actually at a point where I was becoming okay with letting everything go. I don't care if we don't have a relationship or not, I just want everyone to be okay.

I loved him at one point. Like to the point I was ready to drop my life to go with him if he had said the word. I wouldn't do that now, but I do care deeply about him even after everything he did to me.

But, you are right. I need to end this. I can't do this anymore despite the past.

that's understandable

just stay strong and do what's best for you, since ultimately that's also something that only you can 100% decide

i'll root for you, tho!

I will and thank you