[Academia] That feeling when you pull together a grant application two hours before it's due only to see "upload letters of support here" on the form.

W E L P GUESS THAT'S NOT A THING I'M GOING TO GET APPROVED

I definitely have two people who would have written me letters too, had I known asking was a thing that would have been required

I even spoke with Mario about it last week -- I'm surprised he didn't bring up the letter thing then

probably because he expected me to be an adult with reading comprehension

I've spent the last month being really behind on things and having negative amounts of confidence so I'm kind of like "yeah, this makes sense"

Shit, I'm so sorry.

IT'S FINE this is what my life is now

missed deadlines and regrets

Kind of actually worried I won't be able to pull off the comps portfolio after this semester (or that I won't even be eligible to take it from this trend of missed deadlines)

and if comps don't happen in august then that's it for the program and that's it there goes my funding and everything is so ragingly unstable right now

the jersey semester starts on wednesday and I'm just like "why are they even letting me teach students I shouldn't I am too big of a mess"

"I used to be smart but that was before they put me in a room with actual smart people and I cannot keep their pace"