Pokemon Uranium: My Worst Mistake Ep. 1
AXE GOTH REAL
Need something to kill time before AGDQ starts? Enjoy watching people on the internet suffer? Want to get mad about game design practices? LOOK NO FURTHER, FRIENDS!
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
god
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
why this again
AXE GOTH REAL
Well, to be fair this is a youtube upload of his old streams so if you went and watched those on Hitbox...
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
i tried and i couldn't get far before i quit from cringe
AXE GOTH REAL
Uranium is a very cringey game.
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
yeah i got to the uh
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
stalker at the first gym
連続犬
you mean the stalker at the first gym in the town which a bad pun based on the fact that the town has a stalker plot? 
連続犬
that stalker at the first gym, hannah
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
why must you remind me
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
oh yeah and kevlar town. because it's edgy.
連続犬
because you didn't get to the elite 4 and that's like
連続犬
a whole other level of WHO DESIGNED THIS
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
like, i feel bad at shitting all over something that they put 9 years of work into, but also
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
it's so bad
連続犬
DID ANYONE PLAYTEST THIS GAME
連続犬
like
連続犬
anyone ever told you what the elite 4 in uranium is, hannah
AXE GOTH REAL
Man how do you get to the Elite 4 when every single fucking random joe trainer has some combination set to not only kill you but do it slowly via sleep and paralysis and whatnot?
AXE GOTH REAL
Just slowly chokehold every single fight out.
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
i know that they're bullshit and like... a gym leader has a deoxys-tier speed thing with STAB on priority moves
連続犬
okay, so, hannah
連続犬
i don't mean to want to make you induce frothing but.
連続犬
uraniums elite 4 is a trainer roulette random gauntlet.
連続犬
no items allowed.
AXE GOTH REAL
This game has a built-in Nuzlocke mode.
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
why
連続犬
so not ONLY
連続犬
CAN YOU NOT USE ITEMS IN BATTLE
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
IF IT'S A RANDOM ROULETTE GAUNTLET THEN IT'S HARDLY ELITE FOUR NOW IS IT
連続犬
YOU CAN'T FUNCTIONALLY PREPARE
連続犬
FOR WHO IN WHAT ORDER
連続犬
BECAUSE IT'S RANDOM
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
like, did the person look at all the worst parts of competitive play adn go 'yeah, i want that'
AXE GOTH REAL
Not to mention the bullshit "mega evolutions"
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
oh god i remember that
AXE GOTH REAL
Which were clearly implemented when someone during the 9 year dev cycle saw them announced and went "OH GOD WE HAVE TO INCLUDE THESE (nevermind we have no idea how they work)"
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
and how they didn't rebalance the starters to be a two-stage so they're worthless
AXE GOTH REAL
Yeeaahh.
AXE GOTH REAL
Your starter stops being of any use after like.
AXE GOTH REAL
The second gym?
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
THAT THING STRAIGHT-UP HAD A ZUBAT'S CRY
連続犬
i mean
連続犬
there's tons of asset ripping wholesale, so
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
IT'S A BAT, IN A CAVE, WITH ZUBAT'S CRY
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
I HATE IT AUTOMATICALLY
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
current mood
current mood
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
okay yeah i got to the stalker and quit again
AXE GOTH REAL
Get out of here Stalker.
AXE GOTH REAL
Also Loon sums it up well. "Ah, the second gym, Blighttown."
thetaClysm
Uranium uses midi music and I can never forgive it on that basis alone
thetaClysm
Everything else is gravy on the shit pile
AXE GOTH REAL
It uses .oggs of midis, bafflingly enough.
thetaClysm
surely 9 years is enough to put some time into sound design
thetaClysm
... What
thetaClysm
That's
thetaClysm
I can't even respond to that, that's so
AXE GOTH REAL
Yeah I feel like that sums up a lot of Uranium.
thetaClysm
thetaClysm
That is just. An ouroboros of bad decision-making.
thetaClysm
Fuck, just ripping off the music wholesale would be less effort than that, and give better results
thetaClysm
What little I played of it just used music from the real games, so...
AXE GOTH REAL
Oh there's some of that too. Like ripped from YouTube by the file names
AXE GOTH REAL
I'd have preferred that tbh. The note bent bells in the trainer battle theme sends me into fits.