kuwagatamushi
[Revolution 60] Okay, so it's pretty much a mess.
kuwagatamushi
I should also state that I spent money for the special edition DLC to make it a complete game.
kuwagatamushi
It's still pretty bad.
kuwagatamushi
And no, I don't mean the concept of the game is terrible. It isn't.
kuwagatamushi
The execution, on the other hand, sure is.
kuwagatamushi
Oh, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to finish the game because I can't seem to finish a QTE during the boss battle.
kuwagatamushi
But anyway, where do I start?
kuwagatamushi
1) The writing is terrible.
kuwagatamushi
I get the feeling that these women were all supposed to have different and real personalities, but they all come off as incredibly snarky. No one is played straight. Maybe Holiday.
kuwagatamushi
Holiday is a straight-up bitch throughout the game, so she's a pretty unlikable character.
kuwagatamushi
Crimson 06 is either spouting shit in a "oh, girlfriend" tone, or sounding like a computer. She's the only character whose voice actor wasn't checked out completely throughtthe game.
kuwagatamushi
2) It's a walking simulator without the agency given to players that others give.
kuwagatamushi
Seriously, you click a circle, and Holiday sloooooooooooooooooooooooooowly walks to wherever you clicked.
kuwagatamushi
There's really nothing else to do except click on circles, activate talking scenes, and stumble into enemies.
kuwagatamushi
3) The combat is flawed.
kuwagatamushi
Notice I didn't say shit. It's not shit. Still hate it though.
kuwagatamushi
It plays like Battle Network, except badly.
kuwagatamushi
You move about a grid and fight a single enemy at a time. In fact, there's actually a specific number of guys on the space station the team is infiltrating.
kuwagatamushi
Everything is inconsistent. Sometimes you can buffer sidesteps, sometimes you can't. Sometimes you can step and shoot quickly, sometimes you can't.
kuwagatamushi
Sometimes the enemy will act smartly, most of the time, fuck no, it's stupid!
kuwagatamushi
It just randomly steps and attacks. There's no rhythm to anything. It doesn't respond you things you are doing. You could just stand there, and it will just do its thing. Forever.
kuwagatamushi
The cooldown times are too fucking long. Or have no cooldown at all and improve enemy AI. There should've only been cooldowns on special moves like the double shot and shield.
kuwagatamushi
Let's talk about the shield for a moment. It has an 18 second cooldown, but the damn thing is up for 16 fucking seconds, so the effective cooldown is 2 seconds.
kuwagatamushi
So why not just have the damn CD be 2 fucking seconds?!
kuwagatamushi
WASD didn't work for me like it was supposed to, so my movement was dictated by the arrow keys instead. That's an acceptable loss, not a big deal.
kuwagatamushi
There's this super meter that fills up as you perform attacks, and you can only initiate the super move itself after stunning the enemy. You also have to be in the front row (there are two Holiday can occupy).
kuwagatamushi
You can activate it pretty early, or continue to build it and unleash it later. It doesn't feel that much more powerful in practice however.
kuwagatamushi
I think I've gone over everything strictly combat related. Let's talk about ...
kuwagatamushi
4) The graphics are incredibly dated, even for 2014 2011.
kuwagatamushi
It looks like a high resolution PS2 game. I've been saying PSOne, but there are no visible joints, so we're going up a generation.
kuwagatamushi
There's the excuse that they spent a lot of time ensuring the heads looked good so all the expressions would have to be given by their bodies, and that's why the rest of the game looks awful. Not buying that.
kuwagatamushi
The were partially influenced by Infinity Blade, right? Not buying that either.
kuwagatamushi
Anyway, Infinity Blade looks like this

and was also made using Unreal Engine 3.
kuwagatamushi
Let's be real, the texturing is lazy as fuck, the models were made to look like this
and the only halfway decent things made were anything designed by Frank Wu. I'm not saying that because I'm a dude, it's because he's the only person on that team that had any artistic talent.
kuwagatamushi
The woman hired through Craiglist to work on the animations? She didn't do a good job either. Everything looks really stilted, and there's not a whole lot of weight to the fighting animations in particular.
kuwagatamushi
The original phone game looked like a trash fire, and the PC version looks like the smoldering remains since they added basic lighting effects at certain times. A quick trip into the .ini files shows that not everything available was used.
kuwagatamushi
Back to the character designs. They're by Brianna Wu. They were specifically made to look that ugly. The original bodies all had these crazy small waists that would put Jim Lee's Jean Grey to shame. They're straight out of Socially Unconscious. All those girls look like they could die at any moment.
kuwagatamushi
The models were fixed (sorta) for the Steam release, but nothing else was really done. UE3 is incredibly powerful, and the whole game could've been taken up a notch visually, but nope. Why was there a kickstarter for the port? It was built in UDK. The port should've been simple.
kuwagatamushi
5) The music is not original.
kuwagatamushi
It's all royalty-free music they purchased. The lolcow wiki states this, but I take their shit with a grain of salt because it leads right back to chan sites.
kuwagatamushi
I know for a fact that it's royalty-free, because I was hit with seven copyright claims in three minutes upon finishing a stream I was doing for my father.
kuwagatamushi
It was for Super Dungeon Bros, but I got tired of playing that and switched to Rev60 for about 10 minutes at the end.
kuwagatamushi
There was no music playing during Super Dungeon Bros.
kuwagatamushi
It totally explains the weird Mos Eisley Cantina style music we were hearing sometimes. So out of place for a game like this.
kuwagatamushi
Also explains why the music was actually good.
kuwagatamushi
6) Controls were all over the place.
kuwagatamushi
At one point you're using the mouse. At another, you're slamming the spacebar to move a circle around a ring.
kuwagatamushi
Then you're typing out Illiad to decrypt a computer. It's all bullshit.
kuwagatamushi
You have to type attack moves as parts of QTEs during the super moves in combat to get something vaguely reminiscent of them to perform.
kuwagatamushi
My hands were flying all over the keyboard. It was stupid and disorienting, since I sometimes glance down when I'm typing.
kuwagatamushi
Usually at the start since I don't completely sit on home row.
kuwagatamushi
But, when playing the game, you're never on home row. Even someone with awesome keyboarding skills is going to get tripped up.
kuwagatamushi
It just doesn't translate well, and there's ways to make the game work for PC.
kuwagatamushi
The controls are so fucked that they didn't even work sometimes. I mentioned earlier that I couldn't defeat the fucking final boss. There's a game breaking bug involving the controls that will likely never be fixed, because ...
kuwagatamushi
7) There's a no modding EULA clause.
kuwagatamushi
Why, exactly?!
kuwagatamushi
Because pornography?!
kuwagatamushi
Seriously, if she doesn't care to make this game the best it could be after there are faults found with it, then why should she care if other people try to fix it?
kuwagatamushi
Just so she can prevent her ugly character from taking it up the butt?
kuwagatamushi
Anyone who bought the game certainly is.
kuwagatamushi
For what it is, Revolution 60 is all but a fucking disaster.
kuwagatamushi
You can have a great concept and greater intentions and still make a really bad piece of media, and that's what Brianna Wu did. It says a lot that anyone criticizing the game are being shouted down by ... people that are probably all her sockpuppets.
kuwagatamushi
Someone is going to come in and ask me why I did this to myself. I'll fucking tell you why.
kuwagatamushi
There isn't a single review that I've seen on the internet that doesn't seriously take this game to task. Everything is a humorous teardown that doesn't go into specifics, or a let's play that just shits on the game. Not a review.
kuwagatamushi
I'm not a respected journalist or a big YouTuber, so I don't feel like this video I intend to make will get any views, but Goddamn do I feel there needs to be a complete and fair look at this shitpile.
kuwagatamushi
I swear to God, I feel like I just wrote part of the script to the video in this fucking plurk.
Final
I'd be happy to promote the vid
藤宮あやちゃん
(applause) ilu bb
藤宮あやちゃん
Seriously, I respect that you're willing to look at this from a purely video game based perspective, because even WITHOUT her personal bullshit the game pissed me off enough that I'd just be vicious af
藤宮あやちゃん
Like Eski hates her, because she's basically a manipulative drama whore who abuses animals (she compared her to someone I wont mention, but she's right)
藤宮あやちゃん
But I mostly just think she's an extremely damaged person who has way less artistic merit than she thinks she does.
藤宮あやちゃん
I feel most bad for her husband and hope he doesnt let her drag him down.
藤宮あやちゃん
BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH REV 60 LOL
藤宮あやちゃん
I will lol when one of her sockpuppets eventually pops up to call you a GGer, tho
藤宮あやちゃん
Apparently most of the people flooding the Steam message board arent even GGers or Channers - theyre from kiwifarms
Subarashii
and yeah, I'm also plus one on respecting that you're willing to take the game down seriously by pointing out why it's a bad game
Subarashii
hilarious that you mentioned the ps1 thing, though - someone said EXACTLY THAT on twitter and wu went on a big long rant about how her game could never run on twitter
Subarashii
er, ps1
kuwagatamushi
I think the point of the person she was responding to went right over her head, and she tried to act superior.
kuwagatamushi
Well, of course it couldn't run on PSOne. It's fucking written in UDK.
Final
given the quotes you once posted with responses to other stuff, not surprising
kuwagatamushi
Yeah, this is why I never respond to anything she says. I'd like to continue being able to follow her bullshit.
kuwagatamushi
She doesn't like criticism. Can't take it. And if you can't take criticism, you shouldn't put yourself out there.
kuwagatamushi
Who cares if she's trans, if that's even true?
kuwagatamushi
(I actually don't know why I brought that up now ....)
kuwagatamushi
Anyway, testers were telling her the game's systems were working well from a gameplay perspective, and she shat on them by saying it's because they were male.
kuwagatamushi
If you didn't want male opinions, don't get male testers.
kuwagatamushi
There's also a lot that can be said about exactly why the game feels unpolished. Only one person really wrote it, with barely any support from the team.
kuwagatamushi
And it wasn't Wu.
kuwagatamushi

I don't see that as a bullshit claim on this woman's LinkedIn.
Subarashii
yeah regardless if that's a real person or a sockpuppet account, it's very obvious the game was made with a tiny team and no oversight or support at all
kuwagatamushi
Oh no, that's a real person. She posed in a picture with the rest of the team at some point. Actually, I thought it was Amanda that was supposed to be the sock, but she seems to also be real.
kuwagatamushi
Or ... maybe she was just some chick. I think that might be what you were taking about. Not sure.
kuwagatamushi
But yeah. Whomever did the bulk of the work wasn't supported by the supposed lead dev/software engineer, Wu.
kuwagatamushi
She signed off on the game. I guess she saw that as quality. Then again, shed never made a game in her life ... as far as I can tell.
kuwagatamushi
You know, I always assumed she worked for a bigger studio, considering a lot of her claims about women in the industry having a hard time seemed to come from past experience.
Subarashii
nah, she's just a liar.
Subarashii
tbh at this point it feels like it's compulsive
Subarashii
and tbh she's probably one of those people who listen to people who...have actually been in the biz, and then went NOW LISTEN TO THIS SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME
TC
this sounds less like a walking sim and more like a really poorly put together Point and click adventure
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