[mute] Family stuff. Just need to cope I guess.

I got a call just before starting work that my uncle, my dads twin brother, passed away

I was worried because I thought it would be because of his cancer that he got diagnosed with last year... But supposedly it was worse

Seems his depression was getting the better of him, and he got kicked out of his apartment, since my parents were already housing my brother and dealing with a bunch of other things they refused his

Request to stay with them

So he killed himself

And... I guess I'm just having the hardest time even accepting this information none the less coping with it.... Just processing it is difficult

My bro told me he tried to drown himself... But it turns out that was unsuccessful and he didn't want to tell me what actually happened.

But it was apparently all over the news all day

It looks like he tried and was unsuccessful because a rescue team was sent out, thinking that he was a swimmer who went too far our

So he jumped from the roof of his hotel afterwards. Would explain why my brother had to mention going in to identify the body..... Also why it's going to be closed casket

And... Shit this was seriously all over the news today and yesterday. There are news articles about it online

And I am just going to sit here and curl up with my girlfriend and watch stupid anime all night because I have to stop having my mind circle around it

My poor father is blaming himself so much and I know he is

He's horrified that people are going to blame him for his brothers death

And I know it's secretly because he's blaming himself

I'm so sorry, friend

Thanks.... They're going to call me as soon as the funeral arrangements are made. Guess I'm going to the east for a day or two.

Which is mostly weird since I'm also getting my marriage paperwork signed in two days

So my feelings are super conflicted

yeah that sounds like plenty of things happening at once

It's... So much to just deal with. I'm at least happy I have my fiancée here. She's been amazing through all of this

oh no. I'm so sorry