Luke Skywanker
Thank god for canon-puncturing panfandom RP so I can write shit like this.
Luke Skywanker
I just love that Luke's life here is equal opportunity actual horrible angst and like... witnessing his dad's head as a toaster.
Lady Stardust
I made an ngodly noise out loud when i read that XD
fiercebadrabbit
Hardison feels very awkward. I, on the other hand, am cackling
Luke Skywanker
Of course, I'm writing it concurrent with a thread with Anakin-Vader about forgiving him for killing Padme...
Luke Skywanker
fiercebadrabbit : Luke honestly has no idea what to think.
Luke Skywanker
Like how do you even respond to that?
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
omg kylo needs to see that
Luke Skywanker
AHAHAHA
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
Luke Skywanker
How surreal. Dude cuts off your hand, you find out he's your dad, you almost die trying to redeem him then he dies and you drag his body out to burn it
Luke Skywanker
then someone's making fucking toast
fiercebadrabbit
Hardison's defense is excellent, shh
Luke Skywanker
TOO SOON
fiercebadrabbit
...You can have some pop tarts?
Luke Skywanker
weirdest therapy
Luke Skywanker
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
oh luke
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
and then he blew up the death star a week later
Luke Skywanker
he's making up for lost time
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
hey, we might get a Leia! I've been talking to someone who's thinking of apping
Luke Skywanker
ooh, who is it?
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
new person, nobody I've talked to before
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
they said they'll prob throw her on the tdm
Luke Skywanker
cool
Jay
lol, oh man, <#
Jay
<3*
Luke Skywanker
I'm just imagining Luke being over there when the toaster starts to malfunction and smells all burnt and he has awful flashbacks
fiercebadrabbit
It's partly there because Hardison thinks annoying Eliot with weird kitchen stuff is funny, for the record
fiercebadrabbit
Which probably happens. Novelty toasters are generally not well constructed, I'd imagine
Luke Skywanker
indeed
Luke Skywanker
like, I wonder if Luke has problems with burnt plastic
Luke Skywanker
I need a picture of Luke sadly eating pop tarts next to a Vader toaster
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
randomly traumatized by the smell of burnt plastic... /dying now
Luke Skywanker
yup
fiercebadrabbit
Pop tarts are a hell of a consolation. Apparently earth food is gross as well as prepared by deranged weirdos.
Luke Skywanker
given everything we see Luke eat, I assume anything is manna
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
there's a section in the wiki on tatooine foods.
tᥙɾƙᥱყ⳽!🦃
dung worms, 'nuff said
fiercebadrabbit
Have you tasted pop tarts, though
Luke Skywanker
There's that and the tin box of rations we see on dagobah
Luke Skywanker
I think Luke probably has gone crazy for barge food
no mortal blade
LOL excellent
Sσяяч mυѕт ∂αѕн
Seconding. That's funny as hell
Sσяяч mυѕт ∂αѕн
Poor Luke.
Luke Skywanker
no mortal blade : someday I want to write Kyle and Luke eating ice cream
no mortal blade
LOL it will be a long time coming
Luke Skywanker
shh ice cream heals all wounds
spicy mycophile
"There's not a toaster with my face in it, is there?"
i dieded
Luke Skywanker
oh god now they're discussing Halloween costumes and Hardison dressing up and Luke and then Lando
Luke Skywanker
Luke's poor brain
fiercebadrabbit
I can't even tell you how much Hardison is messing with him
Luke Skywanker
Luke's trying so hard to be chill
fiercebadrabbit
Wait until he hears about "Come to the dark side, we have cookies" shirts
Luke Skywanker
oh my god
Luke Skywanker
he should get that for christmas or something
fiercebadrabbit
Star Wars merch mystery box
Luke Skywanker
I'm so mean to him
Luke Skywanker
Luke is messing with Hardison, now
fiercebadrabbit
Hardison is kinda hard to mess with, but good try
Luke Skywanker
Well he's Luke
fiercebadrabbit
Irksomely unflappable in the face of everyone's best efforts, completely overreacting to ordinary stimuli, that's Hardison
Luke Skywanker
lol
Luke Skywanker
"Plus, me and the toaster are kind of related. It's only fair." <-- Luke on why he wants a pop tart
Luke Skywanker
Because it's the closest he'll ever get to Dad cooking for him
fiercebadrabbit
Luke Skywanker
Luke Skywanker
ok but do you want Luke to get a sugar high
Luke Skywanker
and then crash
fiercebadrabbit
He'll hardly be able to avoid it if he keeps eating things Hardison gives him
Luke Skywanker
true
Luke Skywanker
I'm just going to headcanon that Luke comes from a diet of relative scarcity
Luke Skywanker
at the very least, unvarying
fiercebadrabbit
Makes sense. And Hardison's approach to food is frankly kinda bizarre (though at least a little of it is performative and designed to annoy Eliot)
Luke Skywanker
/nod
Luke Skywanker
This is because Eliot is ridic about food
fiercebadrabbit
He really does eat like a twelve year old, but it's because he's lazy, not a matter of principle.
Luke Skywanker
this is why I eat like a 12 year old as well. Also, I am picky.
fiercebadrabbit
It solves a lot of problems, as long as you don't mind the ones caused by the fact that humans cannot comfortably live on instant noodles.
Luke Skywanker
... I haven't received that message yet
fiercebadrabbit
I just eat carrots and bell peppers with ramen and I haven't died yet
Luke Skywanker
meanwhile, Tiffany to Luke: "hey, wanna hang out?"
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