ಠ_ಠ
This is Bix. If you have a critisism/concern/complaint to air with me speak up.
ಠ_ಠ
I'm doing this on anon so people have that cloak to hide behind
ಠ_ಠ
Unless I get feedback I don't know if I'm doing something wrong
fly833
i don't know whether this was spurred by any sort of recent drama, and i know it's always tricky to word this kind of thing. but i would caution that ATM this reads as pretty hostile and would make me
fly833
unlikely to offer you feedback elsewhere.
fly833
i know that may not have been the intent, so it's worth noting that it's mostly the insinuation that someone offering anonymous comments or crit is being cowardly.
fly833
anyway, i hope your day goes well from here!
ಠ_ಠ
I fully admit to being annoyed at a pile of small irritations lately, and it's what's spurred this.
ಠ_ಠ
I feel like people tend to be more honest when anon, I'm not accusing anyone of being cowardly for using it. People can be hard to talk to and sometimes it's easier.
virgo89
Idk how it's hostile? Maybe that's just me. Anyway, I would say that you kinda...tend to get a little too personally involved in Malik, but that's more an observation than a complaint
virgo89
I would suggest sitting back more often and distancing yourself
virgo89
From things that get him upset, or projecting when you yourself are upset
lemon683
agreed with above. sometimes I question your IC/OOC divide some and that can get uncomfortable. otherwise i don't have much.
ಠ_ಠ
Thank you both. It is definitely something I will make an effort to work on. I will admit that some OOC situations are having me feel like I have to react a certain way ICly, and-
ಠ_ಠ
I don't see a need to hound after other parties that seem to have little interest in things.
lemon683
I don't know anything about situations where you'd need to hound someone. I just know that sometimes your mood seems to follow his and vice versa, at least about negative things.
rat257
... I kind of feel like that's a position that leads to more trouble than it solves, kudu241. There's nothing wrong with asking for feedback directly.
rat257
That said, Bix, you're definitely coming off as having a very strong position on whatever prompted this that you aren't sharing, which makes a general "feedback!" request somewhat disingenuous.
rat257
I think, if you're looking for honest responses on a specific issue, it's best to name the issue, and if you're addressing a specific person, it's best to address them one on one, in private.
rat257
That's much more likely to be productive.
cod979
rat is wise
virgo89
Ah, that is a good point. Yeah, don't let someone anger you to the point of doing something that comes off as angry and pa. That's...kind of what they want
virgo89
So they can go "see? See???"
ಠ_ಠ
I apologize for getting upset and wanting some answers when apparently people think I'm a stalker and follow up with accusations of identity theft
ಠ_ಠ
I figured that giving whomever it was a chance to speak without me knowing who it was was somewhat smarter than running round accusing everyone
star251
honestly this is a little reasonable considering the accusation
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Either way, I now have rather little reason to want to trust anyone enough.
bean603
it also assumes that the person responsible is on your timeline
ಠ_ಠ
I highly doubt anyone would have said a blessed thing un-anon, gnu.
bean603
ngl i barely know who you are but this was such a vagueplurk i went to check out what was going on and it looks like there's, like, one person potentially grudging and a couple of people ???ing at them
saturn23
I don't blame you for being upset but I think it's extremely unlikely the source of that rumor/accusation/whatever is on your timeline
bean603
an anon plurk could've worked out well but you'd have to drop the snide hostility. if most people don't know what's going on, an accusatory op just startles and discomforts people.
bean603
not a look you want to rock when you're dealing with someone trying to spread rumors.
star251
you guys sound like dicks
star251
i wouldn't be surprised if the accusations were coming from inside the house
gnu957
this response seems harsh, people. consider that bix is stressed out and in a position where it's hard to trust anyone. i'd have difficulty not sounding hostile, either.
gnu957
and tbh this plurk didnt read to me as hostile in the first place
saturn23
It seemed somewhat out-of-the-blue aggressive to me, as I had no idea what even prompted it when I first read it. Not gonna hold a grudge,
saturn23
especially now that I do, but that was an honest first impression of it.
star251
it seemed pretty forward, which rpers always misinterpret as hostility.
star251
which is also why this is happening anon instead of with names attached
nut525
grow up. if it's grudgewank, it will get drop. vagueplurking (yeah, i'm talking about your cersei emote plurk and your IMMA DRINK plurk today) does nothing other than show passive aggressiveness
nut525
it discredits your stability as a mod - snacky did the same thing. no one wants that again.
nut525
this anon plurk was not a bad idea. until you reach "cloak to hide behind". when you act like this in the face of anon crit, whose gonna wanna come to your face?
rat257
I don't think the original plurk sounded bad at all, certainly not as much as some people here seem to. But I do still feel like you should've been straightforward about the issue if you wanted to address it
cat933
^^^^^^
cat933
It sounds harsh, but it's true. You're acting like a complete brat over this.
rat257
I mean, if someone's throwing around accusations of you being a stalker, that's pretty serious, whereas "speak up if you have criticism" sounds like... well, like you want to know if people don't like your RP
rat257
I'm sorry you're dealing with that, though, and that this plurk has gone the way it did.
cat933
This plurk by itself, is eyebrow-raising, but not that bad. However, the one with Cersei's emote stuck all of this right into "Wow, really?" territory.
bean603
there's nothing wrong with being stressed out, but the magic of the internet is that you don't have to blurt out your first reaction.
bean603
you can step away, work out your stress elsewhere, assess the whole situation, and respond in a constructive way.
bean603
personally i'm not going to grudge about this bc not everyone can magically intuit that kind of PR-juggling but i won't sugarcoat in saying it was terribly handled.
bean603
if you want to be forward, be forward. but being all snide on an anon plurk reads like 1) the point is not genuinely to get honest criticism, but to lure out the person you know is lurking, which is
bean603
2) a really passive-aggressive way of going about things and 3) shows poor understanding of the situation because even if they are on your plurk their original raising of the issue shows they
bean603
probably aren't interested in bringing anything to your face.
ಠ_ಠ
The ceresi one was about my job. I didn't have time to expand on it before my shift started last night. I reacted poorly with this plurk (done on my lunch break) and the one following, I will fully admit that.
bean603
4) and you get to be snide to faceless anons who probably won't break the Law of Anon and confront you about it un-anon. that effect works both ways in anon plurks, OPs aren't immune.
bean603
5), this one isn't really a direct your fault thing because it's an effect a lot of people just don't understand, but being vague about something you've been accused of makes people really really suspicious
bean603
unless they're already close enough to have full faith in you.
bean603
i don't automatically believe you Did Something Wrong because i believe 95% of wank is the product of miscommunications and not malice, but i want to let you know for the future that
bean603
acting really defensive around people who don't know why you're acting defensive is just a bad idea always and accomplishes the opposite of what you want to happen.
bean603
now, all of this is hindsight 20/20 etc, so again, not grudging on you for it. but please take a lesson in internet PR away from it.
bean603
speaking of 20/20 hindsight, my 4) reads like gibberish. i think a better explanation is that doing an anon plurk and immediately painting the concept of anon as "cowardly" is kind of hypocritical,
ಠ_ಠ
Thank you. I can't promise that I won't react emotionally without thinking again, but I am going to try to both take the time to think first and be better at phrasing my thoughts.
bean603
because in an anon plurk the responding anons aren't the only ones who benefit; the OP has the luxury of not thinking of them as the people on their timeline and can/will think of their
bean603
replies differently than they would with the names attached.
bean603
case in point: remarks about "rather little reason to want to trust anyone enough".
bean603
everyone here is a person who is on your regular timeline. that's a pretty big slap in the face.
bean603
not saying that everyone on your timeline is best fwends - like i said, personally i barely know who you are - but imagine saying that un-anon.
bean603
to un-anoned people on your timeline.
ಠ_ಠ
...Yeah. I was definitely being harsh and reactionary.
virgo89
If this ever happens again, which I hope it doesn't, definitely follow that distancing yourself thing. Do some self-care. Take a shower. Paint your toenails.
virgo89
Just never jump to conclusions and try to provoke people who actually care enough to have followed you here on plurk
virgo89
We may not all be beasties, but no one likes seeing someone they know become the victim of baseless grudgewank
virgo89
*Besties
virgo89
Let the fucker who started it flounder, they obviously have nothing to back up their claims
virgo89
But if you really want to be a mod, you need to be able to shrug these things off