You're Quinner
in which there's a fucking reason I want to play Imaginary Kinzo and not Real Kinzo
Rama
I think we're getting some streams crossed here
Awe
That's a pretty good reason
Rama
You mean, even if you kill the character, that doesn't mean you've killed the kind person who was playing the part?
Rama
I've observed this before, but this is the third time Daisuke Ono
Rama
has played a character playing the lead in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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/looks up a synopsis of the play
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Guildenstern theorizes on the nature of reality, focusing on how an event becomes increasingly real as more people witness it.
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fuck
Rama
Then again, in both the other cases, it was a one-off gag in the culture festival episode
Rama
Anyway, I'd pretty much figured this out, I just didn't want to admit it
Rama
It does pretty much explain Lion, though
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the true Ushiromiya family tree is both different from and much worse than the presented family tree
Rama
Also, everything so far is confirming my/our culprit theory
Rama
Lion doesn't know Beatrice the Golden, and Lion doesn't know Kanon or Shannon either.
dragon time
Kinzo is fucked up God damb
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Beatrice has way too many names
Rama
And way too many people have Beatrice as a name
dragon time
Now I'm wondering if lion in the main timeline is the kid natsuhi pushed off the cliff with the servant
Rama
The main clue seems to be "nineteen years old", so that fits.
Rama
Which means the Man from Nineteen Years Ago is Lion/Kanon/Shannon/Beatrice.
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/Sayo/Yoshia/[redacted]
Rama
It all fits pretty neatly when you think about it.
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I love how everything ties together in the end, it's a very complex story but a VERY carefully-plotted one
Rama
(Assuming a baby managed to survive falling off a cliff when an adolescent woman didn't, but it's plausible)
dragon time
I knew the bit where Kinzo is all about giving shkkannon the Eagles and not Gouda was hinting at something
Rama
Kinzo doesn't even give his in-laws eagles
dragon time
i now feel really bad about joking about Shannon's skirt cutout being part of kinzos fetish tho
мσяgαиιтє ♥
all through this update i just hissed in kinzo's direction
мσяgαиιтє ♥
fuck u kinzo
Rama
I am still kind of wondering if it would be even remotely possible to play The Culprit in a serious RP.
Rama
Without intense spoilers for everyone reading, I mean
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I'm really not sure
Rama
I guess you could just lock in one persona and then watch everyone canon-aware not app the others
Rama
Or you could go for a game concept that would allow meta-versions of the characters
You're Quinner
I think the safest route would be to either app Lion or app Meta-Beatrice, yeah
Rama
Or if you wanted the 100% Trolling Achievement, app Beatrice, Shannon, and Kanon each under a different sock puppet.
Rama
And just never have them interact outside of crack memes.
Rama
(I think Lion counts as a Canon AU, which are usually allowed in jamjars)
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who isn't a Canon AU in Umineko
Rama
Well yes technically but for most characters the only divergences happen over the course of 36 hours or so
Rama
If I were running a jamjar I wouldn't allow someone to app Ep 1 Natsuhi and someone else to app Ep 5 Natsuhi, even though they'd have very different memories of canon, because they're still the same character
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makes sense
Rama
Lion vs. Shkannontrice on the other hand has an entirely different life.
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Shannon/Kanon and Lion don't even recognize each other as the same person
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the AU version of Beatrice I'm planning for TACBR is pretty convoluted and doesn't quite line up with either of them
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but for visuals I'll probably just be using Lion
Rama
It would probably be easiest.
Rama
Enough visuals in common with Beatrice too, thanks to the hair.
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yeah
Rama
I guess Lion dyes...?
Rama
I figured (piece) Beatrice wore a wig.
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why do you say Lion dyes?
Rama
Because I was assuming brown was Shkannon's natural hair color.
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considering that Bice was a natural blonde, and Kuwadorian Beatrice was her splitting image
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I assume that the hair genes carried on for another generation
Rama
Both Kuwadorian Beatrice and the one we know and adore had the same fifty-fifty shot of genetically blonde hair, assuming it was possible for them to have it at all.
Rama
I just couldn't think of why Shkannon would die/wear wigs in day-to-day wear
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their backstory is coming
Rama
(I am also assuming here that Kinzo's hair is naturally brown/black, but I am not sure Japanese hair genetics work the same way in Umineko as they do in real life)
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Krauss, Kyrie, Battler, Jessica and George all came from the same bloodline, so
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who the fuck knows
Rama
I hope you meant Eva and not Kyrie or this is even more fucked than I thought
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oh right, Kyrie's an in-law
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Eva, then, yeah
Rama
(Jessica I also assumed dyed because she's as gyaru as she can possibly manage)
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that makes sense actually
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so then if you look at Krauss, Eva, Rudolf, and Rosa
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Kinzo's hair is probably brown/red
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was*
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Rudolf's hair is darker but he also created Battler, who fits in with the pattern
Rama
Red hair is recessive (a mutation of the blonde allele, in fact), so presumably Kinzo and Mrs. Ushiromiya were both Br, which would give any of their kids a chance to be BB, Br, or rr.
Rama
As well as giving Kinzo the potential for blond kids with the bb Beatrices.
You're Quinner
does the genetics work out similarly for the Lunatic Psychopath Gene?
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most of the unrelated in-laws have it too, though
Rama
Hideyoshi's okay
Rama
Natsuhi's just super high-strung
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yeah I guess it's mostly just Kyrie
Rama
I am waiting for Kyrie to turn out to be the actual mastermind at the point if he wants to throw in another board-level plot twist
You're Quinner
there's still fun Kyrie stuff waiting in the wings, is all I'll say on the matter
Rama
(Which is why I haven't made an account for her yet even though I've got a fun name)
Rama
(And by fun I just mean punning in two languages)
dragon time
Nah what you'd do is you'd app lion Shannon and kanon and never have them interact where they can be observed
dragon time
Presumably all the servants know about the double furniture maayyyybe not gohda but everyone else has to
Rama
Well, I already fingered every Servant but Gohda as accomplices anyway
shivorce
i cant remember which episode maybe 1 or 2 but most people said battler is the spitting image of a younger kinzo
shivorce
so i can imagine kinzo's hair being dark red/brown because of that
You're Quinner
Hang on we SEE young Kinzo
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His hair is white
shivorce
yeah but i think that's because of premature greying
dragon time
That's to represent a flashback being in black and white
мσяgαиιтє ♥
Biice tho
sailor bii
i tried playing the culprit in an RP and i ended up warning for umineko spoilers a heck of a lot
sailor bii
but i didn't stick with the game
sailor bii
it can be done, though
Rama
If nothing else I kind of want to play Kanon in some fashion just for the username furninja
sailor bii
oh my god
sailor bii
yes
sailor bii
once you're done with seacats you really should
Rama
I think Kanon is where GM Beato (and GM Battler out of respect) put all her badass antihero moments.
sailor bii
yeah
Rama
Of course, since it's the Beato persona narrating, the hammy villain moments trump those every time.
sailor bii
also he gets to voice her cynical moments
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something you notice on a reread of 1-4
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is how Ange summons Mammon as Furniture
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then Mammon starts voicing all the angry opinions that ANge can't say out loud
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then, back in EP1/2, whenever Shannon and Kanon are alone together
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Kanon does the exact same thing
Rama
Shkannon gets way more obvious when you notice the personality yin-yang and realize that's not necessarily just thematic.
sailor bii
yep
Rama
Kanon expresses opinions Shannon won't, Shannon expresses opinions Kanon won't.
Rama
Beatrice fuckin' murders people.
sailor bii
and is cute with maria!
Rama
Hm. If Shannon/Kanon/Sayo/Yoshiya/Beatrice/fuck it I'm just going to call them The Culprit is the same as Lion
Rama
That would make them the successor Kinzo wanted.
Rama
Which means they're being literal when they call Beatrice the Master of Rokkenjima.
You're Quinner
you'll get a much easier name to use soon
sailor bii
yep
Dead Mentors
Oh! Oh! Can I finally talk about the theory I came up with at the end of EP4? I've been waiting to share this for ages because I think it's hilarious.
Dead Mentors
I figured, hey, I bet Kuwadorian Beatrice had a kid, and after she died, Kinzo was like "Hey Natsuhi and Krauss since you fuckheads have COMPLETELY FAILED to produce a kid by the traditional means I have
Dead Mentors
acquired one for you here you go" and handed the baby over to them. Where I went wrong was not guessing that Natsuhi would then throw that baby off the cliff. In other words, I thought Beatrice was Jessica.
Dead Mentors
I was so close, yet so very far.
dragon time
oh my god
Rama
That's some amazing guesswork.
Rama
Jessitrice COULD work if she didn't have such good alibis so much of the time
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