Why am I always the asshole? Im just sorry people don't understand simple sarcasm anymore.

Well... Honestly? Sarcasm is by it's very design meant to be kind of jerk-ish, if you think about it. Even a simple "duhhh!" at someone serves absolutely no other purpose than to make them feel stupid

Not saying you're an asshole, tho, you're far from it. It's just one of those things programmed into us, I actually do try to avoid being sarcastic but lol that's much easier said than done