Make breakfast > look out window as I eat > see a seagull on the neighbor's roof > hi seagull > oh, it's swooping down, I wonder if garbage fell out of a bin or > SEAGULL PICKS UP CHIPMUNK AND SWALLOWS IT WHOLE

WHAT

i saw a seagull mutilating a dead pigeon while on vacation. they're fucking nasty

WHENEVER TOURISTS COME TO MAINE and think seagulls are majestic, noble creatures, I am like

you clearly have never seen them murder each other over the last Burger King french fry in the parking lot

... why does anyone assume seagulls are majestic

they are motherfuckers, every one

my cousin got attacked by seagulls when he was six, THE ENTIRE FAMILY WATCHED

AS A HALF DOZEN OF THEM ATTCKED HIS TINY SIX YEAR OLD HANDS

they wanted his french fries

bad

THEY'RE AWFUL