my terror rn honestly has no bounds
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
[rl/work] I’m being placed on a PIP my terror rn honestly has no bounds
my terror rn honestly has no bounds
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Bc I feel like, MOST of the time they’re just an obligatory “we’re going to fire you but pretend to give you a chance first”
Necromantic
what on earth are they doing that for?
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Now, like. I do genuinely really love my manager. She told me directly that her ideal outcome is that we really succeed with the PIP and just get back on track! I believe her. I don’t think she wants to fire me. I think she genuinely just wants to see me do better.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
BUT BOY AM I STILL FREAKED THE FUCK OUT
inadequate tits
whats pip
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Necromantic
: it’s warranted, unfortunately for me. I’ve been REALLY struggling thr past few weeks with my health and it’s caused me to miss deadlines. Like, I was genuinely more worried I would simply be straight up fired--esp when I walked into a meeting with my manager 1.5 hours ago and A REP FROM HR WAS ALSO THERE 
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Lit was thinking oh god I’m so cooked
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
inadequate tits
: it’s a performance improvement plan! hence PIP for the acronym. And generally they’re like basically an obligatory step, but I’ve found more often than not a PIP means “we’re going to fire your ass, we just need to collect more evidence first”
Necromantic
Well, hopefully you can right the ship. I believe in you, and I know you've said you do like this job.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
So like I’m having a whole entire time
inadequate tits
woof. good luck! hopefully it works out for the best
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I’m glad I wasn’t just outright let go... I’ve been dreading that exact outcome for days so a PIP is almost a relief. And I really want to believe my manager that she genuinely wants to see me succeed and stay with the company.
inadequate tits
glad you got a good manager in your corner
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Necromantic
: I LOVE MY JOB 
idk wtf else I would do as traditional marketing has literally negative appeal to me
idk wtf else I would do as traditional marketing has literally negative appeal to me
Necromantic
Necromantic
It'll be okay! health stuff sucks but it's good knowing your manager wants to keep you
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
inadequate tits
: yeah, Lisa is great. I do genuinely feel like I can trust her. We butted heads a lot in the beginning, but we’ve managed to develop a really good professional relationship. So much so that I do feel like I can believe her when she says she wants me to improve--this isn’t just a prelude to an automatic firing
de borel
it sounds like your company culture is not bad to warrant the perceived reason for a PIP (we're gathering evidence to fire), but rather there's specific areas of improvement they want to help you get to
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Necromantic
: my health has been SO BAD. It is THE REASON why my performance has dropped so precipitously. And I can’t ... control that. I cannot express how truly frustrating it is to be held back by your own weak, frail, sick body
de borel
I would personally put together a list of things you would need to absolutely crush it at work. Because a lot of what I see with this kind of thing is there are work needs not being met and it's causing the employee undue strsss
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: yeah, this was the impression I got, too. This isn’t “we’re just preparing evidence to fire her” but genuinely “we want you to succeed”
Oathkeeper
fingers crossed for you.
fingers crossed for you.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: ugh, I truly wish I knew. My health has been so touch and go for like a month and a half at least and it’s nearly impossible to predict. My work already gives me substantial accommodations, too. And HR made the point that like they made those concessions to help me succeed, but I’m still falling behind. IT FEELS BAD, MAN.
de borel
So like in your case, because your health is fragile, you can ask for better expectations on what projects you're handed. That there's a plan in place for if you need to hand it off, even for just a day, just in case
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
More than anything I’m just. Frustrated with myself and deeply ashamed I let things get this far. It is entirely 100% my own fault and I’m fucking lucky they didn’t just let me go.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: this is exactly one of the things Lisa and I discussed! More proactive communication about my workload vs. my needs and how we can ameliorate the problem by simply staying in touch so that contingency plans can be made instead of stuff falling behind
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
That alone should make a huge difference
de borel
It doesn't even have to be concrete concessions for more days off or things like that. But last we spoke, it sounded like some of the work structure was kinda ehhhhhh. Ask for processes to be in place for being out. Or to make it easier to ramp you back in when you're coming in after an off day
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I’m just. Stressed, and unhappy. With myself--there’s just no one else to blame for my poor performance but me. I acknowledge and accept that: nevertheless, feels bad man
de borel
I'm spraying you with a spray bottle
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: yeah, that’s something we want to work on. If I proactively reach out to my manager about how I’m doing and any concerns I have with my workload, we can (gasp) talk about it and find a solution that works for everyone. I’m kind of looking forward to that change.
de borel
Like yes, there are health things and some communication that falls on your plate and now you've learned from it. But I got a whiff of the chaos you're dealing with and the company did not seem to set you up for success
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: WHY WHATD I DO BESIDES SUCK IMMENSELY : (
de borel
They didn't set you up to fail, necessarily, but they didn't proactively help you either
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: you’re ... not wrong. I’ve been here for almost three years and only since the last year have I been performing only my actual job duties 
my first year here was kind of a disaster. I loved it, but there was no structure, they didn’t know what they were doing with me at all really. Once Lisa stepped in that did change..,
my first year here was kind of a disaster. I loved it, but there was no structure, they didn’t know what they were doing with me at all really. Once Lisa stepped in that did change..,
de borel
I would build in "who do I talk to if my manager is out" to this plan. As well as "how do I protect my time when I'm back and trying to put my nose to the grindstone"
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: man, I dunno. I really do feel like it’s on me--but I do think it will help me a lot to be more communicative with my manager. That should help allay a lot of problems by itself. That way, Lisa CAN proactively help me.
de borel
Yeah, companies lacking structure do this. I'm personally disappointed they dropped a PIP on you and it was like....not a surprise, per se, but if your yearly review was good and you have regular check ins with your manager, it should never be a shock
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Years and years of habit has led to me clamming up and shutting down over discussions of my health so I tend to keep all my problems very close to my chest. But I can see now that was ... fairly counterproductive
de borel
It's dependent on the manager but imo if one sees an employee struggling, REALLY struggling, I'm intervening and asking what they need to stop drowning
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: in all fairness, I was expecting something. I just thought the something would be “you’re fired loser have a nice life”. In that way a PIP is a bit of a relief. If nothing else I have my job for three more months. And I can job hunt like crazy and see what’s out there, just in case.
de borel
I don't mean "I have guilt and shame because of this thing going on in my life and therefore this plan feels like expected punishment"
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: ... yeah this is fair 
her whole thing was that I need to be more proactive with my work and with her but she did know I was struggling... in a lot of ways she just expects me to get my work done, and I don’t feel that’s a totally unreasonable expectation
her whole thing was that I need to be more proactive with my work and with her but she did know I was struggling... in a lot of ways she just expects me to get my work done, and I don’t feel that’s a totally unreasonable expectation
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: 
l-lmao
l-lmao
de borel
I mean "there have been discussions before that this could be a result, if based on feedback in reviews, I was not able to correct myself"
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
An expected punishment... yeah, I guess it was
de borel
Expecting someone to just buckle up and get their work done, even if you see them actively struggling, feels cruel
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: tr...ue. I wish we could have had this talk BEFORE a pip was required. God HR sitting in on that meeting scared the bejesus out of me. Holy hell, the dread.
de borel
Like your manager could be a perfectly fine person and it sounds like she's not the devil but imo that take is not contributing to you getting your work done lmao
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I dunno... I have a job that they need to rely on me to be able to do. And I haven’t been reliable at all. My manager intervening earlier would have been ideal, for sure, but ...
de borel
Absolutely this kind of discussion SHOULD be happening before a PIP comes up. Because if there was no real discussion or concern about your performance from THEM, how are you to know what is or isn't bothering them
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
It’s just that getting my work done is SO touch and go. I’ve been leaving projects unfinished or not doing very thorough edits... it’s all because I feel like garbage all the time lately but that doesn’t change the fact that my colleagues need things from me I haven’t been able to give them
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: eh. I knew Lisa was bothered. She grilled me a few times in the last few weeks about what the heck was going on with me. I just wish those talks had been more collaborative instead of Lisa just laying down the law I do genuinely believe she cares about my success but man.
I do genuinely believe she cares about my success but man.
de borel
I don't think it's bad to understand where you've had fault. And obviously you're owning the "I will be better at communicating". But acknowledge there's process and structure failures here too which are not on you
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
More proactive support from her would go a long way.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: : ( YOURE GONNA MAKE ME FEEL LESS BAD THAN I FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Also: I know I’m relatively calm rn but I have a bad feeling that once I read the pip it’s going to be a one way street to “lose all your shit forever” town
de borel
I think you can ask for something like that. Give her the feedback that you want to communicate and do well but prefer to have issues brought up in a way that gets you to solve the problem
de borel
Look at it this way: a PIP feels like them demanding you to get your shit together. But it's also a way for you to be clear about what it will take to do that
de borel
If that means Lisa needs to adjust how she works alongside you, then that needs to be addressed
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
... this is ... good advice. I was so ready to just put it on my own shoulders entirely. But you make a really good point, and I’ll bring it up to her that I’d like her to proactively inform me of her concerns, too
de borel
Just like an interview is not just for the company to suss out the potential employee but for the employee to suss out the company, this is a relationship, which means it goes two ways
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
YEAH im trying not to be too scared about it because from how it was described to me it is genuinely a plan to get me on track for success rather than an obligatory evidence gathering period before they fire me
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
jesus h, my mom is going to FLIP OUT when she hears this. That’s a convo I’m not looking forward to, because I know she’ll be furious with me.
de borel
But yeah, make sure you're clear on what proactive concern means and sounds like. Because you're setting the expectation that is what will help you be more clear and confident
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
god. I may just need someone to hold my fucking hand while I read thru the pip lol. Xan I know I’ve been garbage about texting lately (shocker, it’s been my health preventing me!) but would you be willing to sit w me and hold my hand once I receive it and can go over it...
de borel
Frame it to your mom the same way. Yes, you had some communication issues you realize are your fault. But, that there are structural and process issues at work that have made it way more difficult on top of everything else
de borel
It's not blame shifting when it's the truth
de borel
yeah dude feel free to call or text. I get riled about companies not setting their employees up for success and then hitting them with a PIP so LMAO
de borel
Also I know you're neurospicy like me so any amount of disappointment feels like a fucking mountain got dropped on your head. Just make sure u breathe and tell your spicy neurons to chill and get a pina colada so you can problem solve
🦉𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒷 𝑅𝑜𝓌𝓁🦉
God this is so stgressful, I'm so sorry. :c I hope it all works out, especially since the cause seems like...something you can't really control.
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: thank you for being annoyed on my behalf bc rn all I can feel is abject terror 
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: GOD. THIS IS SO REAL. I deal with racing thoughts daily--can’t wait to see where that takes me tonight 
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
🦉𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒷 𝑅𝑜𝓌𝓁🦉
: it is not something I can control. My manager emphasized proactive communication think for that exact reason--so that if I feel unwell it’s not a surprise and we can put a contingency plan in place.
🦉𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒷 𝑅𝑜𝓌𝓁🦉
That's good that they're at least trying to work with you in that regard. :c
de borel
Take this mantra: I will control what I can control
de borel
You can control communication and how you move forward, including your emotions. You can't turn back time and make it so the PIP never happened
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I’m just so terrified of losing my job. I’ve been job hunting for months and had zero fucking luck. I HAVE to find an opportunity in the next three months--if I don’t have a backup plan I’ll probably perish from the stress alone
de borel
Make a plan for how you're tackling this PIP. The paper isn't in front of you but really think about what you need at work to get things done and/or stuff that bothers you
de borel
Don't let the panic take over and inadvertently think this entire job is a wash just because of the PIP
de borel
once that all feels concrete, make a plan for job hunting. resume updates, who you're having review that, any networking you want to get the jump on, gathering links to apply to
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
gdit I have so much work to do and I can’t focus because nervousness is eating me alive. Anxiety fucking blows
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
de borel
: it’s funny because I updated my resume a while back and have been actively reaching out to companies. Maybe I do need someone to review it and see if there’s anything on there an employer may find off putting...
✨More Glitter✨
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I am having a truly bad time. I’m trying not to spiral but the anxiety makes that quite hard!
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Mom is super ultra convinced that I’m fucking toast and this is just a three month preamble to my inevitable firing. Cant wait to hear negativity every single day for the next three months along with constant reminders of how I fucked up and how doomed I am. She’ll go berserk if I’m not applying to like 15 jobs a day. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
🦉𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒷 𝑅𝑜𝓌𝓁🦉
I'm going to punt your mother
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
She. Is doing. Her best. Sometimes her best is deeply unhelpful but I recognize she’s trying to prepare me for the worst. Idk. I’m exhausted. I just want to crawl into bed and cry.
🦉𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒷 𝑅𝑜𝓌𝓁🦉
:c Please rest, sweet Pippie
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
I ... know I should. But I also know my anxiety is going to be a HUGE FUCKING PAIN IN MY ASS tonight. Le sign.
𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔬💀𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔶
ah geez what a fuckin mess
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
Immmmmmmm sooooooooo tireddddddd
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
The defeatist part of my brain just wants to give up and try to live off disability for the rest of my life as I clearly am not fit for society, much less a job
ⲣⲓⲣⲣⲓⲉ
The rest of my brain knows that’s a terrible idea, and yet
✨More Glitter✨
I don't know if this would help, but along the same vein of what
de borel
said, maybe a list you ACTIVELY can control, not things you wish you could, might help give perspective and allow you to figure out what you can do as next steps? seeing things you can do is sometimes incredibly helpful to help break the spiral
𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔬💀𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔶
^