hello i fell off the face of the earth again

still working on getting my back and hip issues diagnosed/treated but have made some progress on that front

acquired a new type of IBS (after i had a year of peace with meds for a DIFFERENT basically IBS type thing), lost weight for a month, changed my diet and have seemingly stabilized for now

spent most of march and april fatigued as all hell, due to one thing after another happening

i was just about ready to talk myself into going to the doctor to check for?? vitamin deficiencies bc of my new diet?? or something??? bc we are all tired all the time but that shit was not normal

then i had a full blown anxiety attack a few days ago that made me realize maybe some other shit is up actually! and now that i've faced some stuff that's maybe been stressing me for a while and talked about it and started to make plans about it, today is the first day i'm actually not feeling fatigued at all

weird how that works!!

also had a really nice day out with my parents yesterday and started rolling out my super tense fucked up hip/leg muscles again and that seems to improve my mental health too! who would have thought hips store anxiety

bodies are just miserable little piles of anxiety

bodies are truly terrible creations

I hope the anxiety stays away 🥺

PAPS YA back to life

yesterday's lil trip

it just blows my mind that we did a lot yesterday, hiked around that lake and climbed up to that castle ruin and i was definitely worn out by the end and took a nap, but today i don't feel exhausted at all. i feel normal!

thursday is another day off and i'll use it to move a bunch of stuff out of my apartment to make space for jazzy's move, which is one thing that gives me a lot of anxiety but maybe if i don't let myself unknowingly build up so much tension again i can be a little normaler about it

and in may i'm doing physical therapy again, ideally that will help me build up muscles in a healthy way and release the overstressed muscles

also for little projects enjoyers: I do I Ching divination now

and check out these lanterns I got

ohh those lanterns are so CUTE

the lanterns are so extremely cute

we have outgrown the need for bodies, time to become a spirit

Glad to see you back!! Also so happy to hear about you and Jazzy living together soon!!