i have to draft like another 20 pages this week at work which is fine assuming tomorrow's meeting is productive and then i get to herd cats to get reviews for the next 2 months
i have also been neglecting this little beginner's writing class i have been taking to basically have someone ELI5 basic concepts i felt like i hadn't grasped yet
kind of annoying that they only made this contract six months for this much work like it's doable to draft that much and that's fine but it's the reviews/meetings/implementation that takes longer
sometimes i get calls and texts where people are like clearly in the middle of something and it's like how in the age of cell phones are you wrong numbering me about all that lmao
once again went to bed and woke up mildly stressed because each day a document review gets pushed off is another day i am not delivering as promised but every day that becomes less my problem i guess lmao they handed me old pdf documents > i rewrote and revised them > they will have new pdf documents when i finish
and he told me that it's cool and we can reevaluate the timeline and just... it's fine and i definitely was the most rambling embarrassing person but i got through it lol
>i had to make an update to some stuff that's already online >i did that way in advance to avoid having to rush >it was approved like a month ago >they looked at it one more time before publishing >it went live on monday
now this morning they want edits within the next day or two a thing that once again isn't up to me like yeah sure but it has to be re-reviewed again like i did this ahead of time to avoid this...
i have really been trying to focus on talking myself down every time my body gets itself into a stupid anxious state usually for no reason whatsoever and it is EXHAUSTING lol
like this is the real therapy challenge now because i have to focus on and logically examine it every time it happens and it's getting better but this is like work lmao
like that job put me on a probation period and my manager said "i don't know if you have what it takes to cut it" and this was all during the pandemic and just UGH
this is even more validating because this came up on a call where i was like hey this work is not getting done when i said it would but here is a detailed report about how that isn't on me and he said my tracker was really thorough!!!!
i am not a career person because my objective is to do the least amount of work for the most amount of money so lol it's very good to know that i am good enough at this that i don't have to work myself into the ground for people to know i'm competent
i'm incredibly self aware we just continue to work on actionable ways to deal with it it was nice to chat about what's been working lately though there have been improvements
i was a little frustrated with work today because i feel like i have accomplished nothing in a week other than meetings but then i realised it's stupid that way when i am blocked by things not up to me (again)
rollercoaster of emotions continues because this morning is like woohoo anxiety so i skipped my 8am meeting to watch people groom a backlog that isn't mine and i will come back to that next week lol
like it's doable to draft that much and that's fine but it's the reviews/meetings/implementation that takes longer
how in the age of cell phones are you wrong numbering me about all that lmao
but every day that becomes less my problem i guess lmao
they handed me old pdf documents > i rewrote and revised them > they will have new pdf documents when i finish
i would love to help with this but it depends on how long I'm here for lmao
just uninterrupted time to not have to think about other humans in my space lol
uh we need to adjust
and i definitely was the most rambling embarrassing person but i got through it lol
>i did that way in advance to avoid having to rush
>it was approved like a month ago
>they looked at it one more time before publishing
>it went live on monday
within the next day or two
a thing that once again isn't up to me
like yeah sure but it has to be re-reviewed again
like i did this ahead of time to avoid this...
CONCERNING LOL
because i have to focus on and logically examine it every time it happens
and it's getting better but this is like
work lmao
and this was all during the pandemic and just UGH
height of quarantine while he shared his vacation photos
deeply unhinged
hey this work is not getting done when i said it would but here is a detailed report about how that isn't on me
and he said my tracker was really thorough!!!!
it's very good to know that i am good enough at this that i don't have to work myself into the ground for people to know i'm competent
lol lmao YEAH A LITTLE BIT
it was nice to chat about what's been working lately though there have been improvements
wrestles watched...
i feel much better lol
i might cry
i did not expect that this morning chat