i had big goals of taking a shower and changing my bedsheets right after my shift last night but then my whole body felt like it had been flattened by a steamroller
my manager told me last night that she was gonna talk to my TL about me going home early after I finished tonight bc my meds have been kicking my ass so bad
bro one of the cats took such a gnarly shit that I smelled it when I walked in the house (they are up a whole stairwell and down half a hallway from the front entryway)
- sweet but shy cat who pees everywhere - anxiety-ridden territorial mean man who constantly puts himself into situations where things are happening and then gets mad that things are happening and lashes out - very good and sociable old man who had arthritis, thyroid, and kidney problems and so had . very very much trouble cleaning up after himself
my personal opinion, and idk maybe this is controversial, is that bad cat owners are often way worse than bad dog owners, especially in a shared living space. it's just miserable. people so often get cats because they're touted as low maintenance pets and it's just not fucking true.
like, if something is wrong with a cat behaviorally, psychologically, physically, whatever, you have to become fucking columbo to figure it out. and a lot of cat owners don't get that or aren't willing to put in the work to do it or dont see it as an actual issue for whatever deranged reason.
ppl dont socialize or exercise their cats in the same way they think chihuahuas can just sit at home and stare at the wall all day no problem. and then you as the roommate have zero control, and it ABSOLUTELY sucks
so I guess my point is you deserve a break and I'm sorry you have had such negative experiences with roommate cats. I'm sure there were a lot of factors there but just my own personal experience with bad cat owner roommates is making me scrunch up my face in grumpy empathy. grempathy
all animals are gross in some way but cats' unique situation of expelling waste into an indoor dirt box and then being able to jump up onto every surface you eat and sleep on is a lot for a germophobe to cope with
also thinking about how i used to have to booby trap the kitchen in the old apartment when my roommate would go out of town bc if i didn't, mean man would sit on the kitchen counters constantly and hiss and swipe at me if i approached
i also had to bribe him with his favorite treats to get him to let me walk across the living room (which i had to do to get to the only shower in the apartment) without coming after me
it is too much. it's not that bad since we moved bc territory got reset but he can still be an asshole about his favorite spots sometimes (which are exclusively in the way of foot traffic because of course they are)
yeah i think part of it is that he is understimulated since roommate just...does not play with them regularly, but like i said, He Is Anxious and not well-socialized either so
constant struggle of "i don't want to drive to the therapy office" vs "i don't like doing telehealth with my housemate just down the hall all the time"
have just resigned myself to asking to switch to virtual though because anxiety and stress-induced insomnia has been absolutely wrecking me for the past 3hrs and I super do not want to go anywhere now
man i want to cry looking at my calendar for the next week and a half. i have too much to do and new weird chemicals in my body and my first period in 3 months
cool rad awesome nice i really wanted a difficult relationship talk and more reasons to doubt my prospects for getting the fuck out of my situation on top of everything else that is currently crushing me
to be clear partner and i are not having problems with each other interpersonally, just like, shared financial burdens and independent responsibilities surrounding that........ i realize i made it sound like a breakup was possible which, it is not that bad, just
i will see how i feel around 9 (which is when i need to call out by)...if my state improves i might still go in but definitely leaning towards taking a day
ended up calling out bc not only do I still feel garbo, I also barely got any sleep today I will have to call back again later once a manager from my department is on duty but for now I rest
holy jesus christ i didn't work on the spring forward DST last year and it didn't occur to me that we'd be overlapping with morning shift opening stuff
gt up at 6:20pm to play a long d&d combat session and then went right to work where i had to work my least favorite aisle and do all the backstock that had been piling up and not being organized for days bc men
apparently someone came into work sick tonight (sounds like potentially the flu) so I get to be anxious about that as well... I mask around my coworkers but typically take it off when I'm alone in my aisle so I can fucking breathe but that means sometimes coworkers come by and ambush me when I am unprotected
which happened a few times before it got around that coworker had to go home sick. so. yay. going to take some vitamins when I get home and pray that it doesn't fuck with my antidepressants too much
worst depresso day ytd since i started my meds and do not feel much better rn but i responded to some messages that were causing me a lot of anxiety so there is that at least
one more night of work and then i can have an actual fucking break... 3-day weekend... i have Other Obligations i need to tackle over the weekend because of course i do but. no more work until monday.
i need to shower, cook some beef bowls, and drop some laundry off with my bf today but. for now. i lay here. and eat my apple fritter from wawa. and languish
and in those 3 weeks I have also started antidepressants, been to the psych + therapist 3 times, and had my whole-ass first VERY AWFUL period since December
spent the weekend at my partner's place, which was unplanned but sorely needed after my last hellish weeks... worked on Monday and, go figure, felt way less awful about having to be there LMFAO
hanging out at the local coffee shop reading after therapy and my partner dropped by to surprise me and say hi on his lunch break since he had an appointment in the area wah... I love him...
took some stuff down to the kitchen that needed to go down there and hand-washed my eczema sleeves and one of my work camis... that's all the executive function i've got for now... time to nap until people start waking up and i can Plan Things
i filled them out over a month ago and intended to sleep on it and review the next day but i've been so busy and it got away from me so looking over everything now was a real i have no memory of this place moment
which is better. Wednesdays aren't as busy. but I was really hoping I would be free once the full-timers got rotated again since I'm usually attached to one full-timer in particular
- anxiety-ridden territorial mean man who constantly puts himself into situations where things are happening and then gets mad that things are happening and lashes out
- very good and sociable old man who had arthritis, thyroid, and kidney problems and so had . very very much trouble cleaning up after himself
i have no memory of this placemoment