[MH] it's 4am and I haven't slept a wink. I am spiraling badly
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
[MH] it's 4am and I haven't slept a wink. I am spiraling badly
[MH] it's 4am and I haven't slept a wink. I am spiraling badly
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I tried to distract myself but the second I tried to lay down and sleep all the thoughts just came back and I started crying again
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I don't think I've cried this much in a long time
BIG DAD ENERGY
ilu nerd
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I'm just feeling. worthless. I've been trying to fix some bad habits with some help in therapy but I just can't make it stick
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
and I don't know why and it's frustrating and it's just set me off on a whole downward spiral
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
feel like I've never been good at anything in my life
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
and I just don't know what to do and I can't make my brain shut up long enough to let me sleep
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
and now it's past 4am
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
tired but not sleepy and low key starting to feel like maybe I don't deserve to sleep and should never sleep again
BIG DAD ENERGY
You deserve sleep. You just started therapy again yeah? Sometimes it takes a while to start sticking 
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I know, I just. I wish I could just make myself work in this one dumb way at least
BIG DAD ENERGY
Yeah I get you
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
it should be so easy. but I fuck it up over and over and over and I don't know why
BIG DAD ENERGY
Brains are very dumb sometimes. I gotta get on the plane in a bit but ilu ok? You’re worth a lot to me
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
;; ty
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
fly safe
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
almost 5am... at least I've stopped crying
Final
Final
you're a fun RP writer, a good person, and one of the best artists I've seen. you've got a lot good qualities and many friends who care about you too
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
thank you... it's just hard to believe that right now
thank you... it's just hard to believe that right now
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
6 am...
𝓟𝓢𝓛☕📔𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦
you are the best Hika, okay? ilu lots and lots
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦
and what I do to make sure my brain shuts up (since yeah this happens with me a fair bit) is take benadryl. helps my allergies and makes me sleepy
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦
maybe that will help you?
𝓟𝓢𝓛☕📔𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼
^^^^ Plus or minus a long hot bath, plus or minus a book.
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I finally fell asleep for a bit
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
I thought about taking a zzzquil but then I got worried it would knock me out for too long
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦
benadryl is the same stuff in ZZZquil, but a lesser dose
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦
o that might not be a bad idea!!
paradisaea
you don't deserve any of this happening, I promise. You brain is just being mean to you. And it doesn't matter if you're productive or successful because those have nothing to do with if you deserve to be happy. 
paradisaea
to be clear, you're a fantastic artist and a wonderful RPer and a lovely friend.
paradisaea
but no matter what you are, you deserve happiness and restful sleep.
sherreon
You are a person I am happy to get to know better. Not only are you a great artist and RPer, you are fun to be around. I hope your brain realizes that and let's you get much deserved sleep 
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
ty all so much for the kind words ;; i was able to take a 2 hour nap and am starting to feel better
яєʂᴄυє ★ нιкα
still don't quite feel 100% but worlds better than last night and this morning for sure
Vernal💮Blade🗡️
the lack of sleep was probably contributing to the spiral, so that nap likely helped a lot... be kind to yourself and take care 
you deserve good things
you deserve good things