Standing in the cemetery, watching her coffin being lowered into the open maw of earth, I was struck by the realization that I would never have the opportunity to really know her story, fears or desires - the inner workings that made her unique.
I cannot imagine the information, experience and points of views all wrapped in historical perspective; a gold-mine of memories that bespeak of one's history.
And what do we value above these rubies of wisdom and experience; a bigger house, a new car or a trip to Hawaii? 而我們將哪些東西置於這些智慧與經驗的珍寶之上呢？更大的房子、新車或去夏威夷的旅行？
Philosopher George Santayana said, "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." The word DOOMED speaks loudly. 哲學家喬治·桑塔亞納曾說：「那些不從歷史中學習的人註定會重蹈覆轍。」其中「註定」這個詞格外震撼。
These discussions happen all the time; people are fearful and frustrated. The best way, in my opinion, to work your way through these harrowing times, is the following: 這樣的討論經常發生；人們充滿恐懼與挫折。在我看來，度過這些令人心煩意亂的時期的最佳方法如下：
4. Distinguish what you read, hear and think. Perhaps there's more that needs to be uncovered that you will not get in a ten second sound bite on the radio or headline. 區分你讀到、聽到和想到的內容。或許還有更多需要被挖掘的內容，而這些內容你無法從電台的十秒聲音片段或頭條新聞中獲得。
By taking a step back and understanding that there is a potential agenda or point of view that is being promulgated by the source, it might have very little importance in your goals and could actually hurt your ability to live your dreams. 通過退一步思考並了解消息來源可能推廣的潛在議程或觀點，這些可能與你的目標無關，甚至會損害你實現夢想的能力。
距離我辦公椅一臂之遙的地方，放著一本《Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion》（《舒適於不確定中：108條培養無畏與慈悲的教誨》），作者是佩瑪·丘卓（Pema Chodron）。這本寶貴的書是我進入不確定區域時的常伴夥伴——不是在與客戶合作時，而是當我不得不扮演人事總監、合規官、資訊長以及執行長等角色時。這些角色顯然位於我的舒適區之外，但卻是我日常生活的一部分。當那種熟悉的不安感出現時，我會拿起這本書，讀上一兩頁，通常能讓我放心，因為我的不適感不過是大腦在對我說：「不，你做不到！」但我記得自己可以，也會處理眼前的挑戰，即便這些挑戰讓人感到不舒服甚至害怕。
Strategically placed an arm's length from my office chair lives a copy of Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion by Pema Chodron.
This valuable book is my frequent companion as I stray into the zone of uncertainty day after day—not so much when I am working with clients, but other times, when I am forced to wear the hat of HR Director, Compliance Officer, Chief Information Officer, and CEO.
I grab the book, read a page or two, and am generally reassured that my discomfort is nothing more than my brain telling me, "No, you can't!" I remember that I can and will deal with the challenges in front of me, uncomfortable and scary though they might be.
In more extreme situations, when the book just doesn't speak loud enough, I call my accountant, my attorney, my mentor, or a friend with the appropriate knowledge and experience.
Talking out the situation with the right person helps me move forward, even if I'm still dragging my self-doubt and fear behind me. Onward! Decisions to be made, a business to run, I move forward, acknowledging but not succumbing to my feelings of fear or doubt.
Now we saunter over to the third question: How do you get there? What keeps you from reaching the heights of the life you dream of? Could it be that little voice inside your brain that screams, "No, you can't! You don't know how! Change is painful! Why bother? It's useless, you'll never change."
Newsflash! Newsflash! The brain lies. Sometimes that voice we hear—you know, the one that pretends it's protecting you—is really just a power-hungry monster trying to maintain the status quo. But consider this: the script can be rewritten when you realize that fear of change is really just fear of discomfort.
每當我懷疑自己時，我就會拿起我的小書；書中的故事提醒我，我可以克服恐懼和懷疑的障礙。畢竟，最糟糕的情況是什麼？改變？ I reach for my little book whenever I doubt myself; the stories inside remind me that I can get past obstacles of fear and doubt. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen? Change?
然而，我無法忽視的是，許多人在試圖讓「所有人」開心的過程中，臉上流露出的壓力，甚至有時是徹底的痛苦。 However, I can’t ignore the stress and even complete despair that shows on the faces of many as they try to make “everyone” happy.
試圖滿足你生活中的每個人聽起來就像是一個超出合理範圍的期待（或者你也許可以申請一個以「全能者」開頭的職位）。 Trying to satisfy everyone in your life sounds like an unreasonable expectation (or maybe you’re applying for a position with “Almighty” in the title).
如果可以合理地假設這個職位早已有人勝任，那麼你或許需要降低期待值，從自己的壓力中解放出來，並享受假期的旅程。 Assuming that position is already taken, perhaps you need to lower your expectations, free yourself from the pressure, and enjoy the holiday journey.
是的，採取這種新視角是非常具有挑戰性的。但每年你給自己施加的內疚感、所謂的「應該如此」以及壓力，難道不也是一種挑戰嗎？ Yes, adopting this new perspective is challenging. But isn’t the guilt, the “shoulds,” and the pressure you put on yourself each year just as challenging?
事實、真相、信仰、觀點以及「另類事實」 「真相」與觀點會改變，但事實不會，因為它們基於現實。 Facts, Truths, Beliefs, Opinions, and "Alternative Facts" "Truths" and opinions change. Facts don't, because they're based on reality.
If someone says to you, “You have no taste” you can politely but assertively correct the person by saying, “You mean your taste differs from my taste.”
Hence, you are entitled to say, “This may be a great painting but I don’t particularly like it!” But if you say “This painting is a disaster!” you’d better be a recognized art expert who is able to explain exactly why, in your opinion, that piece of art falls short.
Do you know anyone who speaks with great certainty about everything? Someone who makes statements such as, “Wrong!” or “That’s ridiculous!” or “You're completely incorrect!” when someone disagrees with him or her?
這種人通常令人難以忍受，而且很少真正被喜歡。他們的哲學是「我認為我知道，所以我絕對知道！」或者他們宣稱：「我的觀點不僅僅是觀點，它就是事實。」 Such people are often insufferable and are seldom genuinely liked. Their philosophy is “I think I know, therefore I absolutely know!” Or they declare, “My opinion is not just an opinion; it's a fact.”
Like everyone, I have opinions about all sorts of things based on my worldview and beliefs, and occasionally I’ll catch myself expressing an impassioned opinion and realize I haven’t really done thorough research to validate it. I haven’t collected credible evidence or sought out divergent viewpoints.
But this is time-consuming work that takes commitment and effort.
但這是一項需要時間、承諾和努力的工作。
If we aren’t willing to do such work, that’s okay; but then we ought not to spread those potentially inaccurate, misleading, and false memes, claims, statistics, and theories.
Recently I asked a friend I admire tremendously if he had read the newly published bestseller by a certain professor. My friend said that he hadn’t read it and that the author was an idiot.
I asked if he’d read anything this author had written. He hadn’t, but he’d read other people’s critiques of this professor and had seen an interview with him.
1. Build relationships with people whose politics, religion, and/or worldview differ from yours; and instead of following the common advice to avoid conversations about politics and religion, dive into these sensitive topics. Ask questions, listen, share your perspectives respectfully, and discover common ground.
2. Choose an author you haven’t read, who uses carefully cited studies from reputable sources, but whose opinions you have rejected simply because of what you’ve heard or read about them. Read one of their works.
We may find ourselves thinking in new ways and identifying innovative ideas for addressing conflicts because we have more knowledge, information, and perspectives to guide our creativity.
I’d heard about barred owls attacking people, but I never imagined I would be a victim. After all, I’m an animal advocate and humane educator. But I had misread everything. I was chagrined to realize that I’d been under the illusion that we were enjoying each other’s company.
Just as I had misread the owl, I sometimes misread people, mistakenly assuming we’re on the same page. I often think I’m being understood, and that I’m understanding, when I’m not. This is probably true for most people.
There’s a way out of this failure to communicate. It starts with something so natural to humans, and so obvious, that it hardly seems worth mentioning except for our seeming unwillingness to embrace it widely. We must cultivate and act upon our innate curiosity and desire to learn.
One of the obstacles to making curiosity our default mindset is fear: fear of animosity and violence; fear of what society would become if others’ perspectives took hold; and sometimes even fear that we might be persuaded by a different perspective, which could threaten our existing identity and relationships.
One might think these commonsense suggestions would be widely welcomed and adopted, but we’ve become so habituated to polarization that we often unconsciously stoke it. It’s not as if most people want to offend and be subsequently attacked, but nonetheless we regularly project our beliefs onto others and fail to consider the impacts of doing so.
I projected my desires and perspectives onto the owl without endeavoring to understand the owl’s perspective. Reflecting upon the experience has made me wiser about how I might show greater understanding not only in situations with wild animals but also with my own species. Perhaps we can all learn something from an owl attack.
-podcast
-psychology today的文章
-《後真相時代》
-《有毒的邏輯》
-《思辨與立場》ing
Nothing Like a Good Funeral...
喪禮無可取代……
Lessons learned from opportunities lost!
從錯失的機會中學到的教訓！
她的智慧遺產從此被永遠封存。
如果能了解自己的祖父母或曾祖父母的思想和感受，那會是什麼樣的體驗呢？
長輩的故事讓我們知道自己是誰，來自何處。
而我們將哪些東西置於這些智慧與經驗的珍寶之上呢？更大的房子、新車或去夏威夷的旅行？
哲學家喬治·桑塔亞納曾說：「那些不從歷史中學習的人註定會重蹈覆轍。」其中「註定」這個詞格外震撼。
看見一個單字時可以自行判斷是否值得深入探討或記憶，若是常見/出現好幾次的字，可以試著去查字典、看看相關詞匯及用法等等（我自己也是這麼做的
These discussions happen all the time; people are fearful and frustrated. The best way, in my opinion, to work your way through these harrowing times, is the following:
這樣的討論經常發生；人們充滿恐懼與挫折。在我看來，度過這些令人心煩意亂的時期的最佳方法如下：
數據應以長期為基礎進行檢視。
2. Discern that risk is more than the stock market.
辨別風險不僅僅限於股票市場。
3. Define that the reporter's point of view might be skewed and very narrow.
確定記者的觀點可能是有偏差且非常狹隘的。
區分你讀到、聽到和想到的內容。或許還有更多需要被挖掘的內容，而這些內容你無法從電台的十秒聲音片段或頭條新聞中獲得。
通過退一步思考並了解消息來源可能推廣的潛在議程或觀點，這些可能與你的目標無關，甚至會損害你實現夢想的能力。
關於說夢話的文章
以下是挑出來的段落
Comfortable With Uncertainty
超出你的舒適區？別擔心，那只是恐懼！
Outside of your comfort zone? Don't worry, it's just fear!
I reach for my little book whenever I doubt myself; the stories inside remind me that I can get past obstacles of fear and doubt. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen? Change?
如何改變遊戲規則，讓節日真正成為一場慶祝！
Avoid Holiday Stress Meltdowns
How to Change the Game and Make Holidays a True Celebration!
However, I can’t ignore the stress and even complete despair that shows on the faces of many as they try to make “everyone” happy.
Trying to satisfy everyone in your life sounds like an unreasonable expectation (or maybe you’re applying for a position with “Almighty” in the title).
Assuming that position is already taken, perhaps you need to lower your expectations, free yourself from the pressure, and enjoy the holiday journey.
Your mission—if you choose to accept it—is to adopt a new mindset for the holidays through the following steps:
Give yourself permission to change your mindset and stop taking everyone’s expectations as your problem.
Set a spending limit within your budget (Hint: Overspending to please others will only bring you pain).
Focus on quality time with family and friends.
Give real meaning to “holiday words.”
5. 了解與他人建立聯繫的深度與你花的錢多少無關。
Understand that the depth of connection with others isn’t tied to how much you spend.
Yes, adopting this new perspective is challenging. But isn’t the guilt, the “shoulds,” and the pressure you put on yourself each year just as challenging?
Isn’t it time to truly embrace the spirit and meaning of this wonderful season?
事實、真相、信仰、觀點以及「另類事實」
「真相」與觀點會改變，但事實不會，因為它們基於現實。
Facts, Truths, Beliefs, Opinions, and "Alternative Facts"
"Truths" and opinions change. Facts don't, because they're based on reality.
因此，你有權說：「這可能是一幅偉大的畫作，但我不特別喜歡它！」但如果你說：「這幅畫是一場災難！」那麼你最好是一位公認的藝術專家，能夠清楚地解釋為什麼你認為這件藝術品不符合標準。
事實可以被檢驗或核實
例如當有人與他們意見不同時，他們會說：「錯了！」「太荒謬了！」「你完全錯了！」這樣的人往往令人難以忍受，很少真正被喜歡。他們的哲學是：「我認為我知道，所以我肯定知道！」或者聲明：「我的觀點不只是觀點；它是事實。」
Someone who makes statements such as, “Wrong!” or “That’s ridiculous!” or “You're completely incorrect!” when someone disagrees with him or her?
Such people are often insufferable and are seldom genuinely liked. Their philosophy is “I think I know, therefore I absolutely know!” Or they declare, “My opinion is not just an opinion; it's a fact.”
開始聽有毒的邏輯
Do You Really Know What You're Talking About?
你真的知道自己在說什麼嗎？
How we can stop ourselves before we present our opinions and beliefs as facts.
在我們將個人觀點和信念當作事實陳述之前，如何讓自己停下來？
你是否曾對自己和自己的觀點有過這樣的反思？
Do you ever notice that you’re treating statements as fact that you don’t actually know for certain are true?
你是否曾經發現，自己在陳述某些事情時，把它們當作事實，但其實並不確定它們是否真的正確？
也許你曾經分享過某個來自缺乏客觀性的新聞來源的資訊，並把它當作「真相」。
Or a Facebook meme.
或是一則 Facebook 迷因（meme）。
Or a statistic with no citation.
或者是一個沒有來源的統計數據。
Or a new dietary or health claim.
或者是一個新的飲食或健康宣稱。
在陳述觀點或傳播可能錯誤或具誤導性的資訊之前，我們應該如何謹慎求證？
How can we stop ourselves before we present our opinions and beliefs as facts?
在我們把個人觀點和信念當作事實陳述之前，該如何讓自己停下來？
有許多資源（例如這些、這些和這些）可以幫助我們在分享資訊之前，先確認其準確性，而不是僅僅分享那些符合自身偏見的內容。
我們每個人都可以學習如何查證引用來源、審查原始資料、使用事實查核工具、分析統計數據等等。
但這是一項需要時間、承諾和努力的工作。
If we aren’t willing to do such work, that’s okay; but then we ought not to spread those potentially inaccurate, misleading, and false memes, claims, statistics, and theories.
如果我們不願意做這些查證工作，那也沒關係；但我們就不應該傳播那些可能不準確、具誤導性或錯誤的迷因、宣稱、統計數據和理論。
那麼，對人的評價呢？
Recently I asked a friend I admire tremendously if he had read the newly published bestseller by a certain professor. My friend said that he hadn’t read it and that the author was an idiot.
最近，我問了一位我非常敬佩的朋友，他是否讀過某位教授新出版的暢銷書。我朋友說他沒讀過，並且認為這位作者是個白痴。
我問他是否讀過這位作者的任何作品。他回答沒有，但他讀過其他人對這位教授的評論，並看過一段他的訪談。
我輕聲問道：「如果你沒有讀過他的作品，你覺得自己應該批評他，甚至稱他為白痴嗎？」
He admitted I had a point.
他承認我的問題很有道理。
當我們因為某些觀點與自己的立場不同，就立刻否定它們時，該如何提醒自己？
以下是三個建議：
1. Build relationships with people whose politics, religion, and/or worldview differ from yours; and instead of following the common advice to avoid conversations about politics and religion, dive into these sensitive topics. Ask questions, listen, share your perspectives respectfully, and discover common ground.
選擇一位你從未讀過的作者，他的觀點也許是你曾經因他人評價而否定的，但他的作品來自經過嚴謹引用的可靠來源。讀一本他的著作。
承諾定期閱讀一家可信賴的、經過事實查核的新聞媒體，即使它的世界觀或理念與你的立場不同。
當我們願意以這些方式拓展自己的思維時：
We will not only learn new things (which is meaningful and enjoyable in and of itself) but also realize how much more we can learn.
我們不僅會學到新的知識（這本身就是一件有意義且有趣的事），還會意識到自己還有很多可以學習的地方。
我們可能會開始用新的方式思考，並找到更具創意的方式來解決衝突，因為我們擁有更多的知識、資訊和觀點來指引我們的創造力。
我們可能會搭建橋樑，影響他人，使他們也成為更謹慎、更優秀的思考者。
我們可能會獲得更大的內心平靜，因為我們不再被憤怒驅使，而是更專注於尋找解決方案。
What I Learned From Being Attacked by an Owl
Personal Perspective: How curiosity can improve communication and our society.
我從貓頭鷹的攻擊中學到的事
個人觀點：好奇心如何改善溝通與社會
I’d heard about barred owls attacking people, but I never imagined I would be a victim. After all, I’m an animal advocate and humane educator. But I had misread everything. I was chagrined to realize that I’d been under the illusion that we were enjoying each other’s company.
我曾聽說過橫斑貓頭鷹會攻擊人類，但從沒想過自己會成為受害者。畢竟，我是一名動物保護者和人道教育者。然而，我完全誤讀了這一切。讓我感到懊惱的是，我竟然以為我們彼此相處愉快。
正如我誤解了貓頭鷹一樣，我有時也會誤解人們，錯誤地認為我們的想法一致。我常以為自己被理解了，也理解了對方，但事實並非如此。這對大多數人來說可能也是如此。
There’s a way out of this failure to communicate. It starts with something so natural to humans, and so obvious, that it hardly seems worth mentioning except for our seeming unwillingness to embrace it widely. We must cultivate and act upon our innate curiosity and desire to learn.
要擺脫溝通失敗的方法，其實來自人類最自然的特質——好奇心。這聽起來再簡單不過，但可惜的是，我們似乎不太願意廣泛地實踐它。我們必須培養並付諸行動，去發掘內心的好奇心與求知欲。
One of the obstacles to making curiosity our default mindset is fear: fear of animosity and violence; fear of what society would become if others’ perspectives took hold; and sometimes even fear that we might be persuaded by a different perspective, which could threaten our existing identity and relationships.
讓好奇心成為我們習慣性思維的一大阻礙就是恐懼：害怕敵意和暴力；害怕如果他人的觀點占上風，社會會變得無法接受；甚至有時，害怕自己會被說服，而這可能動搖我們現有的身份認同和人際關係。
開始聽思辨與立場
We Are All More Fact-Free Than We’d Like to Think
我們都比自己以為的更缺乏事實依據
Facts are opinions held by the right people.
事實是由「正確的人」所持有的觀點。
這很重要
以下為簡短例子
A：
情境：有個人躺在水溝裡
推斷：只是醉漢，不用管他
假定：每個人都有照顧好自己的責任
B：
情境：有個人躺在水溝裡
推斷：這個人需要幫助
假定：每個人都有可能遭遇自己無法控制的情況
繼續
18至35歲的決策+36：19 應聚焦的重點
因為1、2年前就在猶豫要找線上課程來上了，卻一直擱置然後直接忘了。正好經理推薦這個企劃並且是有時效性的補助，與其猜測課程成效，不如起身實際上上看就知道了。反正接觸新事物對自己也是好事
又是尖峰時段整個塞爆，這一大圈也繞得很艱辛，路又不熟)，在塞車途中看見路邊有停車場，就直接迴轉進去了(這樣想想6：00~7：04左右要120元也很貴誒lol)
下車還得走一段距離、設導航找，後來搞糊塗了只好去問路邊店家才順利找到(結果回程時又忘記怎麼走hhh一邊不安回想一邊走hh)
導航一直帶偏僻沒路燈的那種小巷 常常要會車 (但至少還有其他車和機車，有些路段也有住家，但還是黑黑的很嚇人)，回到家都7點半多了、吃完晚餐8點左右，幸好不是實體課
不知道這決定是不是正確的，但既然都簽約了那就盡量學吧..要不要買筆電這就之後慢慢考量、先別衝動。老樣子先用桌機就好，如果真的需要筆電就等今年買給自己當生日禮物吧(還有半年慢慢考慮)