What does their tone, posture, or context reveal? And don’t forget to check in with yourself. Are your assumptions about someone else’s feelings rooted in reality, or are they colored by your own anxieties? 他們的語氣、姿勢或脈絡揭示了什麼?並且不要忘記親自檢查一下。你對別人感受的假設是基於現實,還是受到自己的焦慮的影響?
After all, the 【threads】 of emotion are what bind us together—and learning to read those 【threads】 is a gift 【worth mastering】. 畢竟,情緒的【線索】將我們連結在一起──而學習解讀這些【線索】是一項【值得掌握】的天賦。
Crucially, this method differentiates accuracy (correctly identifying the intended emotion) from bias (seeing emotions that aren’t there—like interpreting neutral sadness as anger). 至關重要的是,這種方法區分了準確性(正確識別預期的情緒)和偏見(看到不存在的情緒,例如將中性悲傷解釋為憤怒)。
Here’s the headline: Across all three studies, people who were better at accurately reading emotions tended to report higher personal well-being. 標題是這樣的:在所有三項研究中,能夠更好地準確解讀情緒的人往往會報告出更高的個人幸福感。
But here’s where it gets really fascinating. Those with higher bias—who misread emotions or layered their own projections onto others—reported greater loneliness. 但這正是它真正令人著迷的地方。那些具有較高偏見的人——他們誤讀了情緒或將自己的投射投射到他人身上——報告了更大的孤獨感。
Imagine constantly assuming people are angry or annoyed with you. That’s the weight of bias, and it can erode social bonds over time. 想像一下,不斷地假設人們對你生氣或惱火。這就是偏見的影響力,隨著時間的推移,它會侵蝕社會紐帶。
A Curveball: When Bias Isn’t All Bad Before we declare bias the villain of this story, we also found that participants who showed higher bias also reported more intense positive emotions during daily interactions. How could this be?
It turns out that these individuals might simply be more emotionally attuned in these cases, picking up on the "good vibes" in already positive scenarios.
It’s a reminder of how wonderfully complex we are as humans. Even our flaws—like emotional bias—can have silver linings in the right context. 它提醒我們,身為人類,我們是多麼複雜。即使是我們的缺陷——例如情緒偏見——在正確的背景下也能帶來一線希望。
【People who excelled at accurately interpreting emotions】 tended to perceive their interactions as 【more positive and supportive】. Even when the “objective” quality of the interaction didn’t differ much from those with lower accuracy, their ability to pick up on subtle cues of warmth created a【positive feedback loop】:
Unfortunately, the opposite held true for those with higher bias. Perceiving interactions as more negative, even when they weren’t, lowered their overall well-being. 不幸的是,對於那些具有較高偏見的人來說,情況恰恰相反。認為互動更加消極,即使事實並非如此,也會降低他們的整體幸福感。
So where does this leave us? Should we all resign ourselves to our emotional blind spots? Not at all. The good news is that emotion recognition—like any skill—can be honed with practice. 那麼這會為我們帶來什麼影響呢?我們都應該屈服於情感盲點嗎?一點也不。好消息是,情緒辨識——就像任何技能一樣——可以透過練習來磨練。
What does their tone, posture, or context reveal? And don’t forget to check in with yourself. Are your assumptions about someone else’s feelings rooted in reality, or are they colored by your own anxieties? 他們的語氣、姿勢或脈絡揭示了什麼?並且不要忘記親自檢查一下。你對別人感受的假設是基於現實,還是受到自己的焦慮的影響?
Emotions don’t exist in isolation—our social connections shape them. And with awareness, practice, and a little kindness toward ourselves, we can all get a bit better at stepping in time with the people around us. 情緒並不是孤立存在的──我們的社會關係塑造了它們。透過意識、實踐和對自己一點善意,我們都可以更好地與周圍的人相處。
After all, the 【threads】 of emotion are what bind us together—and learning to read those 【threads】 is a gift 【worth mastering】. 畢竟,情緒的【線索】將我們連結在一起──而學習解讀這些【線索】是一項【值得掌握】的天賦。
And yet when we declare, "It's raining" do we really mean, "I think it's raining" or is raining a fact, and therefore not a matter of humble opinion? 然而,當我們宣稱“正在下雨”時,我們真正的意思是“我認為正在下雨”,還是下雨是一個事實,因此不是一個【拙見】的問題?
And even "In my opinion" is redundant since the evidence that a statement is your opinion is implied by the way it emanates 【from your pie hole】. You've probably been in one of these exchanges before. 甚至「在我看來」也是多餘的,因為一個陳述是你個人意見的證據,【從你嘴裡】說出來的方式就已經暗示了這點。你可能曾經參與過類似的對話。
" IMHO can signal "I'm the humble one here; you're the arrogant one." I sometimes use IMAO (In my arrogant opinion) to confuse this effect. 「IMHO(In My Humble Opinion)可以暗示『我是謙虛的,這裡的傲慢的是你』。我有時會用IMAO(In My Arrogant Opinion)來混淆這種效果。」
"Excuse me" is a command. "With all due respect," implies a claim that amounts to "I'm an authority on how much respect is due to you, and trust me, I know I'm showing you your full due." Perhaps more accurately we should say "With all due respect, I'll leave it to you to decide whether I'm showing you due respect when I say...".
As I pondered his words, it occurred to me that what I was hearing was an oft-repeated statement of illogical thinking. To make things worse, it was spoken as fact even though it was anything but factual. It was opinion. Too many opinions disguised as facts can create a big mess, and I wasn't ready to let that happen.
Driving home, I mulled over the prevalence of opinions stated as facts. The same tendency occurs with the information that we hear and read daily. We listen to the news and read magazines, newspapers, and journals, believing that what is communicated is factual.
After all, facts feel safe, real, sturdy and reliable; opinions are less so. I suppose stating opinion as fact makes us feel right - and who doesn't want to feel right?
I was taken aback by the force with which she delivered this statement - as if his comments were a known fact. I leaned closer and replied, "Help me understand. Do you mean that because he has five computer screens and told you that he is plugged into a great information source, all that he said to you is fact?"
I allowed her question to linger in the air between us for a few moments. "I am happy to share my philosophy of investing with you, but I must warn you that the only thing factual about what you've told me is that the number of screens on his desk. Everything else is opinion.
Needless to say, she was not thrilled with my response. She had obviously slapped a "fact" label on his opinions and for some reason wanted desperately to both believe and defend them.
I could have just sat in lotus pose and waited it out while the rest of the class went into headstands, of course. But I had a nagging feeling that I was the problem; my mental approach, my self-imposed limitations. I couldn’t just sit and watch while those around me boosted themselves upside down and glimpsed the world from another perspective.
I met with the teacher in a series of private sessions to help me gain a better understanding of the technique and what was required of my body and mind. She asked me why I was resisting. 我和老師進行了一系列的私人課程,以幫助我更好地理解這項技術,以及對身體和心靈的要求。她問我為什麼會抗拒。
So she demonstrated, and explained the moves from the beginning setup to the proper exit. She broke the posture down into small, understandable movements that I could imitate as she went along. 於是她做了示範,並詳細解釋了從起始動作到正確退出的整個過程。她將這個姿勢拆解成小而易懂的動作,讓我能夠一邊學一邊模仿。
On my drive home, I thought about the journey; the fear, dread, resistance and finally determination, action and execution. And I thought of clients who have come into my office with similar feelings of dread. 在回家的路上,我回想起這段旅程:從恐懼、害怕、抗拒,到最終的決心、行動與執行。我想起那些帶著類似恐懼來到我辦公室的客戶們。
Think of your money life. There might be areas in which you feel less secure and more fearful. My yoga teacher reminds us in every class that each student’s skill levels and goals are unique. The same goes for personal finance; everyone’s goals, desires, dreams and challenges are theirs alone.
Ask yourself whether your lack of action to this point is fear, mistrust, fatigue, or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed. Whatever it is, acknowledge where you are and why. It’s okay. We’re human. 問問自己,為什麼到目前為止沒有採取行動?是因為恐懼、不信任、疲憊,還是感到無所適從?不管是什麼原因,先承認你的現狀以及原因。這沒有關係,我們都是人。
Acknowledge and celebrate your actions. 承認並慶祝自己的行動。
As you start to recognize what’s been holding you back, you can set out on a path for yourself. Take it one step at a time. Feet forward, one leg up—and before you know it you’ll be doing your own financial headstands. 當你開始認清阻礙你的原因時,你就可以為自己制定一條路徑。一步一步來。腳向前,一條腿抬起——在你意識到之前,你就會完成屬於自己的財務「頭倒立」。
It’s no shock to anyone that we are creatures of habit. So many things we do without awareness or attention; mostly because it’s just easier that way. 毫無疑問,我們是習慣的產物。許多事情我們都在毫無意識或注意的情況下完成,大多因為這樣更簡單。
Think of your level of awareness when you brush your teeth, shower, or put on your socks… autopilot. 想想你刷牙、洗澡或穿襪子時的專注程度……基本上是自動駕駛模式。
This is no condemnation. It’s merely a statement of fact that most people act without true awareness in many ways, including making spending decisions. 這並非批評,只是陳述事實:大多數人在許多事情上缺乏真正的意識,包括做出消費決策。
"After I put an item in the shopping cart, I will take 10 deep breaths and consider whether this is something I truly value. Or I will get up from the computer and drink a glass of water." 「在我將物品加入購物車後,我會深呼吸10次並考慮這是否是我真正看重的東西。或者,我會離開電腦喝一杯水。」
As you see the success of your conscious and intentional spending, you’ll be able to increase those monthly accumulation accounts. 當你看到有意識和有計劃的消費帶來的成功後,你將能夠增加每月儲蓄賬戶的累積。
正確的行動與策略對於您的財務健康至關重要,但這些策略需要符合您的情況,而非遵循一些可能不適用於您的通用規則。 The right moves and strategies are vital to your financial well-being, but those strategies need to be yours and fit your circumstances, not follow some general rule that might not apply to you.
從了解對你最重要的事物以及為何重要開始。然後,你可以採用對你有意義的策略。畢竟,這是你的生活,你的行動應該反映你的價值觀。 Begin with knowing the things that are most important to you and why they are important. Then you can apply strategies that make sense to you. After all, it’s your life, and your actions should reflect your values.
Take a look at any financial website, newsletter or magazine and you will undoubtedly find stories warning you about the Chinese economy, the Fed’s interest rate policies, the impact of the U.S. presidential election, global oil markets, forecast corporate profits and market volatility.
Because these big global factors are beyond your control and will be resolved without the slightest help from you. 因為這些重大全球性因素都超出了你的掌控範圍,無需你的任何協助也會自行解決。
The behavioral psychologists call it “the illusion of control.” Our intellectual minds tell us we can figure it out. Even when—trust me here—we can’t! 行為心理學家稱之為“控制的錯覺”。我們的理性大腦會告訴我們可以搞清楚這一切,但相信我——我們真的做不到!
Putting your precious time into what you CAN control is really the only sensible way to go. 將寶貴的時間投入到你能控制的事情上,才是唯一明智的選擇。
Devoting time to the economic issues of China or whether equity markets will rise or fall is beyond your ability to control and will only divert your attention from what really impacts your life. 將時間花在中國經濟問題或股市漲跌上,是超出你控制範圍的,這只會分散你對真正影響你生活的事情的注意力。
當前的負面頭條常常散播恐懼和擔憂。它利用我們本能的自我保護意識,但實際上只是製造了一種不祥和焦慮的感覺;即便是那些建立了清晰、適當且長期投資組合的人也難以倖免。 Negative headlines that promulgate fear and worry is the norm today. It feeds on our instinctive sense of self-preservation. But what it really does is create a sense of foreboding and worry; even for those who have established well defined, appropriate and long term portfolios.
We control the expectations we set. We decide whose advice to follow (and for how long). We decide our values, our dreams and our reasons to get out of bed in the morning. We cannot control the headlines or stories created. Don't let the fear and worry distract you from achieving success.
從我的角度來看,極少例外,他們想要的是舒適、保障、家庭、健康、社區,並在世界上有所作為。 From my vantage point, with very few exceptions, they want comfort, security, family, good health, community and to make a difference in the world.
沒有人坐在我的會議室裡描述一個僅僅圍繞金錢的生活。 No one has sat in my conference room and described a life that was just about money.
他們的財富在於與配偶、孩子、朋友和親戚的關係;他們的財富在於生活的豐富,能夠在夜晚安心地枕著頭入眠而無憂無慮。 Their wealth is in their relationships with their spouses, children, friends and relatives; their wealth is in the richness of their lives and being able to put their heads on the pillow at night without worry.
這是一個家人和朋友團聚、慶祝彼此關係、信仰以及對美好明天希望的時候。 a time when family and friends come together and celebrate their relationships, their faith and their hopes for a better tomorrow.
這些才是真正的價值觀——真實且有意義的。 These are true values—real and meaningful.
The substance of the plan revolves around what someone cares most about, and if that is truly the case—there is very little they won't do to assure that outcome. 計劃的實質圍繞著人們最在乎的事情,如果真的是這樣,他們幾乎什麼都願意做來確保結果。
In order for you to live your values—you need to get beyond the fear, beyond the laziness, beyond the skepticism and out of your head, into action. 為了活出你的價值,你需要克服恐懼、擺脫懶惰、打破懷疑,從腦海中的想法變為實際行動。
0114-0122
大部分都是podcast和psychology today的文章
+地獄客棧(主要是小沃)
+批判性思維相關
老師分享他學習法語、西班牙語、中文的經過(都是因為有足夠的動力以及好奇心)/ 他認為聽中文母語者說中文比較聽不懂,所以一開始他是聽老外講英文hhh 中文音調似乎是困難點,所以他比起閱讀更偏重於聽力(以此練習自己“說”的能力)
聽得出來他很享受學習語言的過程,學習法文的方式之一是參加學校的戲劇表演,為了更好的演出,所以會努力把法語台詞背好、發音也盡量隨著老師的建議做修正。也會用單字卡,在通勤路上,看母語猜法語唸法,以及和朋友互考對方。他認為他透過與人互動的方式,可以加深印象。並且還訂閱了一個月會有一本雜誌內容與CD可以聽的法語社團,每個月期待新的內容(這樣真的很好,在好奇心與樂趣中享受學習)
''無需羨慕馬拉松運動員。步行對您的身心同樣有益。''
What does their tone, posture, or context reveal? And don’t forget to check in with yourself. Are your assumptions about someone else’s feelings rooted in reality, or are they colored by your own anxieties?
他們的語氣、姿勢或脈絡揭示了什麼?並且不要忘記親自檢查一下。你對別人感受的假設是基於現實,還是受到自己的焦慮的影響?
畢竟,情緒的【線索】將我們連結在一起──而學習解讀這些【線索】是一項【值得掌握】的天賦。
Misinterpreting others' emotions could hurt your well-being—but it's possible to turn things around.
誤解他人的情緒可能會損害你的健康,但扭轉局面是可能的。
1.在最近的研究中,基於情境的【情緒測量】發現了 12 種文化中與幸福感的緊密聯繫。
2.更強的情緒解讀能力始終會帶來更正面、支持性的社交互動。
3.日記研究證實,對微妙線索的準確感知可以提高整體幸福感。
至關重要的是,這種方法區分了準確性(正確識別預期的情緒)和偏見(看到不存在的情緒,例如將中性悲傷解釋為憤怒)。
標題是這樣的:在所有三項研究中,能夠更好地準確解讀情緒的人往往會報告出更高的個人幸福感。
但這正是它真正令人著迷的地方。那些具有較高偏見的人——他們誤讀了情緒或將自己的投射投射到他人身上——報告了更大的孤獨感。
想像一下,不斷地假設人們對你生氣或惱火。這就是偏見的影響力,隨著時間的推移,它會侵蝕社會紐帶。
Before we declare bias the villain of this story, we also found that participants who showed higher bias also reported more intense positive emotions during daily interactions. How could this be?
在我們宣布偏見是這個故事的罪魁禍首之前,我們還發現表現出較高偏見的參與者在日常互動中也報告了更強烈的正面情緒。怎麼會這樣?
它提醒我們,身為人類,我們是多麼複雜。即使是我們的缺陷——例如情緒偏見——在正確的背景下也能帶來一線希望。
不幸的是,對於那些具有較高偏見的人來說,情況恰恰相反。認為互動更加消極,即使事實並非如此,也會降低他們的整體幸福感。
那麼這會為我們帶來什麼影響呢?我們都應該屈服於情感盲點嗎?一點也不。好消息是,情緒辨識——就像任何技能一樣——可以透過練習來磨練。
從關注開始。不僅要看人們說什麼,還要看他們怎麼說。
他們的語氣、姿勢或脈絡揭示了什麼?並且不要忘記親自檢查一下。你對別人感受的假設是基於現實,還是受到自己的焦慮的影響?
情緒並不是孤立存在的──我們的社會關係塑造了它們。透過意識、實踐和對自己一點善意,我們都可以更好地與周圍的人相處。
畢竟,情緒的【線索】將我們連結在一起──而學習解讀這些【線索】是一項【值得掌握】的天賦。
這個現象其實挺有意思,也反映了一種心理上的選擇性關注和社會認同的機制。你所描述的情況,可能是由於你對於「大眾」看法的重視,通常是因為「大眾」代表的是一種更廣泛的社會規範和期待,而你對於某些人(如那些被視為情緒控制有問題或被普遍看作不那麼成功的人)的態度,可能會放鬆標準,並不那麼在意他們的評價。
1. 社會認同理論:人們往往會尋求與社會大眾的認同,尤其是當自己處在一個群體中,或者當面對的是較為普遍或具有社會影響力的人時,會更關注他們的看法。而對於那些不被視為「典型的社會角色」的人,可能會減少對他們意見的重視,因為這些人的評價不會影響到你與大眾群體的關聯。
「事實上我認為…」事實與觀點的修辭
然而,當我們宣稱“正在下雨”時,我們真正的意思是“我認為正在下雨”,還是下雨是一個事實,因此不是一個【拙見】的問題?
甚至「在我看來」也是多餘的,因為一個陳述是你個人意見的證據,【從你嘴裡】說出來的方式就已經暗示了這點。你可能曾經參與過類似的對話。
「IMHO(In My Humble Opinion)可以暗示『我是謙虛的,這裡的傲慢的是你』。我有時會用IMAO(In My Arrogant Opinion)來混淆這種效果。」
也要注意,宣稱自己謙虛是一種相當傲慢的行為。
許多常見的短語聽起來都帶有一種令人懷疑的傲慢態度。
有點像是對方說【我很尊重你,但我會告訴你我不贊同的地方】,這樣聽起來就有些【矛盾】,對吧?
We LOVE our opinions so much they become facts!
這不是事實——這是意見!
我們太愛自己的意見,以至於它們成了事實!
瑜伽教會我關於財務平靜的事
於是,我決定行動:
我和老師進行了一系列的私人課程,以幫助我更好地理解這項技術,以及對身體和心靈的要求。她問我為什麼會抗拒。
她問我是否有任何健康問題或其他身體上的限制?
No. Nothing was stopping me except my own fear.
沒有。唯一阻止我的就是自己的恐懼。
於是她做了示範,並詳細解釋了從起始動作到正確退出的整個過程。她將這個姿勢拆解成小而易懂的動作,讓我能夠一邊學一邊模仿。
在回家的路上,我回想起這段旅程:從恐懼、害怕、抗拒,到最終的決心、行動與執行。我想起那些帶著類似恐懼來到我辦公室的客戶們。
為了掌握這個姿勢,我採取了和我建議客戶掌握財務一樣的方法:
我認識到了問題(我的心理障礙和恐懼)。
I sought professional guidance.
我尋求了專業指導。
I practiced.
我進行了練習。
I acted, despite my fear and reticence.
儘管害怕和猶豫,我還是採取了行動。
I found success.
我取得了成功。
考慮一下你需要應對的財務局勢;了解問題的範圍。
問問自己,為什麼到目前為止沒有採取行動?是因為恐懼、不信任、疲憊,還是感到無所適從?不管是什麼原因,先承認你的現狀以及原因。這沒有關係,我們都是人。
承認並慶祝自己的行動。
As you start to recognize what’s been holding you back, you can set out on a path for yourself. Take it one step at a time. Feet forward, one leg up—and before you know it you’ll be doing your own financial headstands.
當你開始認清阻礙你的原因時,你就可以為自己制定一條路徑。一步一步來。腳向前,一條腿抬起——在你意識到之前,你就會完成屬於自己的財務「頭倒立」。
建立更有意識的消費習慣
越能保持專注與有意識,你越能找到財務上的安全感。
毫無疑問,我們是習慣的產物。許多事情我們都在毫無意識或注意的情況下完成,大多因為這樣更簡單。
Think of your level of awareness when you brush your teeth, shower, or put on your socks… autopilot.
想想你刷牙、洗澡或穿襪子時的專注程度……基本上是自動駕駛模式。
這並非批評,只是陳述事實:大多數人在許多事情上缺乏真正的意識,包括做出消費決策。
「在我將物品加入購物車後,我會深呼吸10次並考慮這是否是我真正看重的東西。或者,我會離開電腦喝一杯水。」
重點是:這能打破從加入商品到實際購買之間的循環。
當你看到有意識和有計劃的消費帶來的成功後,你將能夠增加每月儲蓄賬戶的累積。
越能保持專注與有意識,你越能找到舒適與安全感。
規則大多數是愚蠢的
Rules of Thumb Are Mostly Dumb
正確的行動與策略對於您的財務健康至關重要。
The right moves and strategies are vital to your financial well-being.
The right moves and strategies are vital to your financial well-being, but those strategies need to be yours and fit your circumstances, not follow some general rule that might not apply to you.
Begin with knowing the things that are most important to you and why they are important. Then you can apply strategies that make sense to you. After all, it’s your life, and your actions should reflect your values.
如何忽略恐嚇式標題
(並仍能睡個好覺)
但這些故事雖然有趣且值得思考,但並不值得耗費你過多的精力。
Why?
為什麼呢?
因為這些重大全球性因素都超出了你的掌控範圍,無需你的任何協助也會自行解決。
那我們為什麼還要煩惱呢?
行為心理學家稱之為“控制的錯覺”。我們的理性大腦會告訴我們可以搞清楚這一切,但相信我——我們真的做不到!
Putting your precious time into what you CAN control is really the only sensible way to go.
將寶貴的時間投入到你能控制的事情上,才是唯一明智的選擇。
將時間花在中國經濟問題或股市漲跌上,是超出你控制範圍的,這只會分散你對真正影響你生活的事情的注意力。
標題:恐懼和擔憂取代恐懼和擔憂!
Fear and Worry Replaces Fear and Worry!
不要讓新聞誤導你……
Don't let the news confuse...
Negative headlines that promulgate fear and worry is the norm today. It feeds on our instinctive sense of self-preservation. But what it really does is create a sense of foreboding and worry; even for those who have established well defined, appropriate and long term portfolios.
We Have It All Wrong!
是時候重新審視我們真正的價值觀了。
It is time to re-examine our true values.
From my vantage point, with very few exceptions, they want comfort, security, family, good health, community and to make a difference in the world.
沒有人坐在我的會議室裡描述一個僅僅圍繞金錢的生活。
No one has sat in my conference room and described a life that was just about money.
Their wealth is in their relationships with their spouses, children, friends and relatives; their wealth is in the richness of their lives and being able to put their heads on the pillow at night without worry.
a time when family and friends come together and celebrate their relationships, their faith and their hopes for a better tomorrow.
這些才是真正的價值觀——真實且有意義的。
These are true values—real and meaningful.
恐懼因素:一切都在你的腦海中
思考並不等於行動!
「那麼,如果我告訴你今天就要改變消費習慣,你願意嗎?」
"Of course!"
「當然願意!」
你明白了。
計劃的實質圍繞著人們最在乎的事情,如果真的是這樣,他們幾乎什麼都願意做來確保結果。
為了活出你的價值,你需要克服恐懼、擺脫懶惰、打破懷疑,從腦海中的想法變為實際行動。
留言區很多留言都很有趣hhh邪惡CEO的魅力hhh