but im still feeling the emotional hangover of Everything, the same hangover which absolutely bodied me on saturday... i am trying to make today a good and satisfying day for me so we shall see
i did buy a laptop with the aid of my dad, my partner, and my own general saving habits; that is supposed to arrive on thursday and i am both excited and anxious... anxious for it to get delivered safely and function when i boot it up mostly
it is nice to hole up at my partner's for a few days but that also usually results in me not doing anything except streaming TV bc i can't write or draw very well on my phone LOL
the staff were SO friendly too; i am used to more...idk how to describe it?? straightforward/almost brusque service at kbbq and hot pot places just due to Cultural Differences, which does not offend me but does always make me a little worried i've done something annoying MFDLKSGMHJ
my partner was very considerate of my sad baby aesthetic preferences and was like "we can try to find you a cute custom skin for the laptop later" which made it much easier to pull the trigger on a boring one LMFAO
i do have a lot of stickers... i'm very bad at putting them On Things which is why i have a sticker book but. i might be able to muster the will to decorate at some point
the toll of assigning a sticker to something is an emotional burden i am not responsible enough for i understand. i had a few on my ipad cause i'm like well i use this a lot and it's longlasting so maybe laptop will also access this privilege
a godforsaken tree truck doing loud-ass tree stuff across the road as im trying to watch the drawtectives premiere im gonna [comment redacted at the advice of my lawyer]
it is now nearly an hour and a half outside of the projected delivery window and the tracking only says it should be delivered by end of day. i am losing my fucking mind
hoping to get some sleep soon but in the meantime i consider... RP... having a laptop again is activating the long-dormant part of me that wants to fall asleep in bed mid-tag
my department is doing a thing my manager is calling norman the roaming gnome (instead of the old and tired elf on the shelf), where norman will visit everyone's aisle at least once during the month with a small surprise for them, and i had the honor of the first visit
full-ass meltdown last night which i felt like i was really circling the drain on the last week or so. feel like absolute ass and then had to get up and do yardwork
but that's done. i don't have work tonight. just d&d which i do feel is going to be exhausting but not as exhausting as work or chores. and at some point i will shower and probably feel at least slightly less like ass
made myself empty some truly disgusting things out of the fridge since i was downstairs doing the trash/recycle anyway... im both so tired and so restless
thankfully i was not terribly busy bc i think management has decided i am most helpful being given a small aisle and then going to help with very busy aisles, as opposed to having busy aisles by myself, as that has been my Mondays more often than not lately
(this assessment is right. i can haul ass pretty well at this point but i'm not superhuman enough to do full-time holiday load aisles on a part-time schedule.)
another day off today and then I have approximately the busiest day ever on Wednesday which I am preemptively tired about... honestly very tired just looking at the rest of my week
therapy was very hard today and then circumstances made my mental state much worse rather than allowing me to recover in any way. felt like an absolute zombie trying to get through work
now i get to pop home and take out the trash bc i am tethered to my awful house by obligations even when i am trying very hard to be away from it but then i'll go back to my partner's place... where i will have to do laundry... unhinges my jaw to scream
u know it's bad when you tell your therapist 1/3 of the way through the month that your psychiatrist plan is to see one next month and she says "I would do it sooner if you can"
there are two wolves inside of me. one is excited for the okami sequel, and the other remembers that the last time a formative intellectual property for me got a sequel, it was higurashi gousotsu
honestly... i get wanting to just have somebody be like "no you actually gotta do it or your car will explode" bc i will put that shit off forever due to money
my dad was like "i have no idea wtf that could be. if you don't have a trusted mechanic down there already i'd just take it to the dealership as soon as you can" so i now have an 11am appointment for the nearest dealership tmw since i don't work tomorrow night... blergh
I can't wait for this cursed fucking time of year to be over not to provoke the ghosts of Christmas or anything but I truly believe that the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday shit brings out the worst in people
good news: they should be able to finish the repairs today so I will not have to deal with being without a car too long more good news: it wasn't my engine bad news: between the thing causing the noise and a thing that wasn't causing the noise but is a kind of urgent repair anyway, it's probably gonna run me about $1200-1300
bruh now my brand new laptop and my partner's work laptop, which are both on windows 11, are not able to connect to the internet because of a known issue with win11 24H2
he's emailing the IT department at his job trying to find a solution after EXTENSIVE troubleshooting independently but if that doesn't work idk what to do LOL
anyway both my laptop and car are functional. work last night kicked my ass. i did some errands today that were a million times more stressful than necessary bc it's the middle of december and every public space is anarchy, especially our crowded-ass roads
thankfully. THANKFULLY. i had help from one of the most efficient and easygoing guys in the store. we had 4 full runners and 3 pallets stacked up to the top of my head (I'm 5'3") and we'd gotten through all the runners and emptied but not shelved one pallet before lunchtime
and ofc we got sent help as soon as people in other aisles finished so we actually finished up in bake half an hour early by some fucking holiday miracle. but holy shit am I miserable
now I have 3 days off and I get to see my partner but first I also (probably) (unless my therapist cancels which would be understandable bc our scheduling was tentative) have to survive therapy at 9am
I did survive therapy... I didn't get too deep into the shit tbh bc I was still so fucking sore and tired LMFAO but I showed up and talked about a nonzero amount of things so. good job cee
genuinely not sure if I'll do a 2024 retrospective this year bc even thinking about it is making me crushingly sad so i will just hope that 2025 is better, I guess, somehow
laptop[comment redacted at the advice of my lawyer]gnomeoofmore good news: it wasn't my engine
bad news: between the thing causing the noise and a thing that wasn't causing the noise but is a kind of urgent repair anyway, it's probably gonna run me about $1200-1300