As for the negative, my main points of reservation can be summed up in two bullet points:
1. Harry's degree of anger towards Tom Sr., as expressed to Mrs. Riddle in their one argument. I mean, the man very much was mind controlled and raped. I don't think it's all that bizarre that he left his rapist. On one hand, it's completely understandable that,
after having gotten so close to Merope, Harry would be sensitive to the fact that she died the way she did in the other timeline, and it makes sense that he would be protective of Tom and angry that Tom's Muggle relatives suddenly want him now that he's a prodigy when they clearly didn't when he was a poor orphan boy,
but the amount of anger he expressed at specifically the fact that Tom Sr. left Merope was very strange to me. Also his talk of bloodlines in that conversation. Just a little icky. Basically, the chapter as a whole was solid,
because I love Tom crying, cuddling up to Harry all grateful, and telling Olympias how great Harry is, but some of Harry's talking points felt unpleasant.
2. Having these white British characters go to Africa for the express narrative purpose of being wronged by black people and then physically attacking them. In-universe, it's a reaction justified by the goings-on of the story, but from the perspective of writing it, it feels very strange. Earlier, when the situation of Henry and his wife were explained,
I found it to be a very effective and satisfying way of having Tom make his statement to the effect of "I'll never leave you for some other person," to Harry; that was very well done on your part. I also kind of assumed that Tom's conclusions about Henry and Sabana were wrong because he was looking at things from -
an outside perspective heavily informed by his clinginess toward Harry. But here it seems like he was basically right that Sabana is manipulative and a bad/corrupting influence on Henry. (Not a great look, when she's the African half of a mixed-race couple.)
I don't mean this as a judgement on your motives for writing it. It just had a lot of common pitfalls I've seen from people writing about Africa: Bernard's comment on the climate made me laugh a little, because it seemed to refer to the continent of Africa like it should be expected to be a monolith
("Africa’s climate is complex; it’s not all dry heat." Oh, really, Bernard? The continent of Africa isn't all dry heat?); the little aside about Tom not wanting to eat the food (which, again, in-universe makes sense because he doesn't trust these people, but from a writing perspective it's a trope that crops up very often;
the uppity white character unwilling to try foreign food; it paints a picture of Tom that feels inconsistent with his kind of bigotry, unless his bigotry is also meant to be deliberately racial in nature; not a huge deal, but if I were doing a sensitivity reading of this chapter, I would suggest something like,
"Despite how good the food smelled, he chose not to eat it" to place the emphasis more on the distrust aspect). And then a five or six year old black girl is introduced (and, by the by, expresses very little aside from servitude and admiration for the white Henry) for the purpose of being ostensibly killed. It doesn't feel great.Tom slapping a black woman.
When Tom first confronted Sabana, I still somewhat expected his assumptions about her to be proven wrong, but I ended up being wrong about that. Taken in combination with Tom's black friend with the unfortunate unrequited crush on him, it's just kind of uncomfy how black people are written in this story.
Bernard's comment on the climate made me laugh a little, because it seemed to refer to the continent of Africa like it should be expected to be a monolith ("Africa’s climate is complex; it’s not all dry heat." Oh, really, Bernard? The continent of Africa isn't all dry heat?) --- 我大約陷入了五分鐘的迷惑：非洲大陸的氣候的確很複雜呀，的確不只是乾燥與炎熱呀，伯納（跟我）都錯了嗎？？？Did I make a booboo? REALLY?
《時間與理智的神聖法則》When time and reasons fail
第十九章：衣索比亞之旅：上 Trip to Ethiopia: Part One
在水裡寫字
AO3
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湯姆歷險記！
原作對英國以外的魔法設定沒有很多，拓展很有趣
感覺非洲巫師就無杖魔法很強
哈利會遇到什麼危險呢???
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是說我還滿想看斯卡曼德兄弟加戲的(??
啊啊啊(吵
第一次做春夢就射到教父爹地的大腿上以後真的很難反駁小湯米是爸寶了！
哈利再說下去他搞不好會哭出來（不會
想看黑魔王哭著射出來because I might actually write that收到超級世紀長的讀者feedback現在恨不得請假三天馬上把下一章寫出來
1. Harry's degree of anger towards Tom Sr., as expressed to Mrs. Riddle in their one argument. I mean, the man very much was mind controlled and raped. I don't think it's all that bizarre that he left his rapist. On one hand, it's completely understandable that,
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我大約陷入了五分鐘的迷惑：非洲大陸的氣候的確很複雜呀，的確不只是乾燥與炎熱呀，伯納（跟我）都錯了嗎？？？Did I make a booboo? REALLY?
但如果作者是來自那些殖民國家也就算了，顯然不是的情況下，不需要去背負那些耶。
寫結案報告都沒這麼認真