Mouth Powers
[ncod discussions] I'm bisexual and like. actually, legitimately, all the way cisgender, which I think is actually a lot rarer than people think
Mouth Powers
I wouldn't be surprised if most people weren't in the cis-by-default-genderqueer-agender-demigender zone somewhere
Mouth Powers
and I don't really feel like this is a day for me! but I want to put this out there anyway because 1) there's no 'not bisexual enough to count', bisexual is not Het Lite, it's queer! I believe that even if it's hardest to believe about myself
Mouth Powers
BUT MAYBE MORE IMPORTANTLY
Mouth Powers
2) I have had gender dysphoria, in a way that sounds exactly like what my trans loved ones describe -
Mouth Powers
when I had to wear a boy's uniform for a thing and it made my whole body shape look 500% boxier and flatter, broader shoulders, etc
Mouth Powers
it wasn't painfully tight anywhere or ill fitting enough to explain the discomfort, but I was clawing the WALLS hating being seen in it
Mouth Powers
and I normally am not really caring what I look like!
Mouth Powers
I used to wear mismatched clothes on purpose to be funky!
Mouth Powers
all of which I want to say as like......for everyone who IS in that grey hard to describe genderweird zone, if you're ever wondering "do I really care about this enough, maybe I'm just cis...."
Mouth Powers
ACTIVELY identifying as your assigned gender, feeling aligned with it, feeling UNcomfortable when perceived otherwise...some people (cis people) really do feel like that!
Mouth Powers
and so if you don't feel like that, and you want to claim a genderweird or agender or questioning label, you are queer enough, you are trans enough
Mouth Powers
the wanting is proof that it's real
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
SAME HAT... I had a really short haircut at one point and wore a baggy sweatshirt and got "sir" a couple of times and wanted to nope into the sun
Mouth Powers
you're beautiful and cool i love you <3
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
my style has since become "genderfuck, but feminine" but I still identify as a cis woman
Mouth Powers
my style is just lazy mz frizzle lmao
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
LMF
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
that's amazing tho
Mouth Powers
I am currently wearing a dress where the skirt has different layers of geological age fossils going down
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
i described my aspirational style as the lovechild of Ms Frizzle and Neal Caffrey
Mouth Powers
INCREDIBLE
Mad Larkin
yeah, I haven't been misgendered (and had some complicated feelings around my breasts in college because of sudden growth basically) but the idea of presenting as male just feels wrong
Kira🌵
ms. frizzle is a glorious aesthetic, honestly, and the reason my teacher outfits are all slacks and Hawaiian shirts (the nerdier, the better)
Mouth Powers
also I want to say....it's okay to question and explore and then finding yourself feeling that you are cis, if you find a way to a presentation you enjoy even if it's not the stereotypes you were raised with. that isn't stealing anything from anybody, and it's good for all people to be able to explore!
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
^^^^^
Mouth Powers
when I was a teenager I definitely wondered if I was some kind of "in between" which I mentally labeled "nerd gender" because I had heard of trans people but non-binary was not really on my radar at all yet
Mouth Powers
and for ME that was because I'd grown up with some oppressive Texan messages in the water about womanhood even though my parents were great, and I felt alienated from other girls at school as a nerd and an introvert
Mouth Powers
and growing up and meeting all kinds of women outside of that environment let me move past some of those fears and internalized misogyny....but the gender exploration I did meant I was better prepared, understood more and had researched more, when my brother came out to me as trans!
Mouth Powers
having a better understanding of both yourself and the beautiful diverse possibilities is never bad
Mad Larkin
I was definitely nerdy enough in a small town environment to question things in high school, yeah
Mouth Powers
apparently my poor brother was SO SHOCKED the like, 3-5 days a year I bothered to get really dolled up for prom or whatever
Mouth Powers
I THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH ONLY TECHNICALLY GIRLS??? BUT YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOU WERE FORCED TO DO THIS???
Mouth Powers
me: dress sparklyyyyyy
❁ 𝕘𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥 ❁
fadfadsf
فك يو
"I believe that even if it's hardest to believe about myself" is a very succinct and elegant way to put this into words, thank you
Mouth Powers
also sometimes I do wonder if I'm aro
Mouth Powers
but I think I'm actually just extremely introverted
Mouth Powers
"I have to MEET people??? pass"
Kira🌵
also thank you for this plurk, Isabelle, it's genuinely really validating speaking as someone who's slowly drifting more towards identifying as agender the older I get
Kira🌵
(being too introverted for the dating scene is also extremely relatable. teaching uses so much social energy. it's my theory that this is why so many of my colleagues end up dating each other.)
Mouth Powers
I'm glad <3
StupidSexyV⚠der
it's a beautifully informative plurk honestly
Jay
sword gremlin 🔪
agreed
pharadyne
I'm also in the "Am I actually aro or am I just really introvert?" My brain all "God, having to share my space all the time with a hypothetical life partner sounds so exhausting."
Mouth Powers
haha
Mouth Powers
now that I'm living with my brother, who is my best friend
Mouth Powers
it's like. I love him. I love having someone else to make dinner sometimes (more than I do tbh, although I clean more). I love hanging out with him and watching our silly shows together. I have my own room and my own chair and plenty of quiet while he's doing his thing in HIS room
Mouth Powers
but now he's finally on a shifted schedule at work where his 'weekend' is thursday-friday and I have the house to myself today and tomorrow and I'm like
Mouth Powers
YES
Mouth Powers
this is so good
pharadyne
That's exactly how I felt staying with my Sis for 6 weeks. I love her. We get along very well and I enjoyed going on weekend outings together. She loves to cook but hates cleaning the kitchen and I hate to cook but have have a compulsive need to clean the kitchen (and all other public spaces) so our division of household labor is
pharadyne
entirely without controversy. And yet I am so glad to have my own space again.
pharadyne
Like, maybe if we owned a duplex and lived on separate sides...
Mouth Powers
having seperate weekends and the occasional time when he goes to visit his boyfriend is enough for me, I think, but it's definitely been an adjutment