He imagined himself at the Emperor’s side, fighting some great, last stand against an unknown foe. Primarch Horus would be there, of course. He had to be. It wouldn’t be the same without him. Loken would battle, and die, and perhaps even Horus would die, to save the Emperor at the last.
For the first time, the first true and proper time since he’d left Terra, he felt the poet in him respond. This feeling excited him. He had begun to fear that he might have accidentally left his poetry behind on Terra in his hurry to embark, or at least that it malingered, folded and unpacked, in his quarters on the ship, like his least favourite shirt.
He felt a sudden pang. What if he had only nine volumes of genius left in him? What if that box of Bondsman Number 7’s, delivered so long ago, represented the creative limits of his career?
‘Perhaps we are cursed,’ Karkasy told the empty fane, ‘to crave something which does not exist. There are no gods, no spirits, no daemons. So we make them up, to comfort ourselves.’
Horus had ever been the brightest, the first and the favourite. They did not doubt his fitness for the role, for none of the primarchs had ever matched Horus’s achievements, nor the intimacy of his bond with the Emperor.
Dorn sighed. ‘The Emperor has no like, Loken. There are no gods in this hollow universe to keep him company. So he made us, demigods, to stand beside him.‘
‘I hate to see men die for no reason. I hate to see men give their lives like this, for nothing. For a belief in nothing. It sickens me. This is what we were once, Nero. Zealots, spiritualists, believers in lies we’d made up ourselves.’
‘Now they have met real immortals,’ Vipus quipped. ‘It’s a hard lesson, but they’ll be better for it in the long run.’ Loken shrugged. ‘I just empathise, I suppose. Their lives were comforted by mysteries, and we’ve taken that comfort away. All we can show them is a hard and unforgiving reality in which their lives are brief and without higher purpose.’
This was madness. This could not be. Astartes had turned upon Astartes. A Luna Wolf had murdered his own kind. Every law of fraternity and honour that Loken understood and trusted had just been torn as easily as a cobweb. The insanity of this crime would echo forever.
‘Which is?’ Loken waited for an answer, expecting some transcendent truth. What the Warmaster said was, ‘I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He hasn’t told anyone.’
Horus paused. For what seemed like an age, the wind banged against the longhouse shutters. ‘Not even me,’ Horus whispered. Loken sensed a terrible hurt in his commander, a wounded pride that he, even he, had not been worthy enough to know this secret.
‘What if he fails?’ Loken asked. ‘He won’t,’ the Warmaster replied bluntly. ‘What if we fail?’ ‘We won’t,’ Horus said, ‘because we are his true servants and sons. Because we cannot fail him.’
‘So an alien war is a delight to me,’ the Warmaster continued, still smiling. ‘A clear and simple foe. An opportunity to wage war without restraint, regret or remorse. Let us go and be warriors for a while, pure and undiluted.’
Ignace Karkasy was a poet and, it appeared, an idiot. He didn’t know when to shut up. On a surface visit to Sixty-Three Nineteen, he had wandered away from the legitimate areas of visit, got drunk, and then shot his mouth off to such an extent he had received a near-fatal beating from a crew of army troopers.
‘He is going to be sent away,’ Mersadie said. ‘Back to Terra, in disgrace, his certification stripped away. It’s wrong, captain. Ignace is a good man…’ ‘Really?’ ‘No, all right. He’s a lousy man. Uncouth. Stubborn. Annoying. But he is a great poet, and he speaks the truth, no matter how unpalatable that is. Ignace didn’t get beaten up for lying.’
‘ . . .Nothing goes past me. You will show me your soul on a regular basis.’ ‘I promise, captain, though I warn you it’s an ugly, cross-eyed, crook-backed, club-footed soul.’ ‘I’ve seen ugly,’ Loken assured him. ‘The third condition. A question, really. Do you lie?’
‘What did you say, remembrancer? What did you say that provoked honest troopers so far they took their fists to you?’ Karkasy cleared his throat and winced. ‘I said… I said the Imperium would not endure. I said that nothing lasts forever, no matter how surely it has been built. I said that we will be fighting forever, just to keep ourselves alive.’
He sank to one knee and bowed to Mathanual August. ‘I have come, as fast as I was able, to help you, sir,’ he said. He clasped August in an embrace. The Warmaster was smiling now. ‘I like a man who’s proud enough not to bend his knees to me,’ he said.
‘Rise, please. Please. Get to your feet. A cheer or a round of applause will do me, not this futile grovelling.’ The fleet officers rose, cheering and applauding. He’d won them over. Just like that, thought Loken, he’d won them over. They were his now, forever.
‘It’s unforgivable,’ said Aximand. ‘Simply unforgivable.’ ‘We will forgive him, even so,’ Horus said. ‘Should we, lord?’ asked Loken. ‘I’ve shot men for less,’ said Abaddon.
Eshkerrus rose to his feet. He glared across the table at Torgaddon. ‘Captain, you offend the honour of the Emperor’s Children.’ ‘That may indeed be what I’m doing, yes,’ Torgaddon replied.
‘The Luna Wolves are feared anyway, so let them fear us. Let them hate us. . . Make them squirm in discomfort. They’ll get the message, but at the same time, the Warmaster will be seen as a benign conciliator.’ ‘We’re his war dogs?’ ‘So he doesn’t have to growl himself. Exactly.‘
‘Everyone thinks the Warmaster’s keenest talent is as a warrior. No one expects him to be a consummate politician. Watch him and learn, Garvi. Learn why the Emperor chose him as his proxy.’
‘The Emperor isn’t a god, but he might as well be. He’s so far removed from the rest of mankind. Unique. Singular. Who does he call brother? No one! Even the blessed primarchs are only sons to him.’
‘I appreciate your intervention, Torgaddon, for the situation was grave. Also, I understand that the Luna Wolves are not bred like proper men, with proper manners. So I’ll overlook your comment.’ ‘That’s Captain Torgaddon,’ Torgaddon replied. ‘If I insulted you, in any way, let me assure you, I meant to.’
‘Do not speak my primarch’s name so irreverently, you bastard. Horus will—’ ‘There you go again,’ Torgaddon sighed, pushing Eidolon away from him with a two handed shove to the lord’s breastplate. ‘He’s the Warmaster.’ Another shove. ‘The Warmaster. Your Warmaster. Show some cursed respect.’
It was, in Karkasy’s opinion, the finest achievement of the remembrancer programme to date: to remind the expedition warriors they were human, and to offer them some fun. And to win rudely from them at cards.
‘Yes, you do. If a brother turns on his brothers again, will you cover that up too? How many have to turn before you act? One? A squad? A company? How long will you keep your secrets? What will it take for you to cast aside the fraternal bonds of the Legion and cry out “This is wrong!”?’
Sanguinius handed the helm to Raldoron and nodded to Tarvitz. ‘Thank you for this kindness, captain,’ he said. He looked across at Eidolon. ‘And to you, sir, my gratitude that you came to Frome’s help so urgently.’ Eidolon bowed, and seemed to ignore the dark glare the Warmaster was casting in his direction.
Horus could not bring himself to stand by and watch his dearest brother go to war. Horus could not resist the temptation of fighting shoulder to shoulder with Sanguinius, as they had done in the old days. Horus would not let himself be outshone, even by the one he loved most dearly.
Sanguinius had also smoothed the way. He knew his brother Horus was keen to rebuke Fulgrim for the high-handed qualities his Astartes had lately displayed. Horus and Fulgrim were close, almost as close as Sanguinius and the Warmaster. It dismayed the Lord of Angels to see a potential rift in the making.
‘Remember the start of my story?’ he asked. ‘What the Emperor said to me about the stars? Make no mistake, and they will be ours.’ He took another two bites, threw the fruit stone away, and swallowed the flesh before he continued. ‘Sanguinius, my dear brother, is right, for Sanguinius has always been my conscience.’
‘I will understand the interex, and learn from it, and parlay with it, and only then will I decide if it has strayed too far. They are a fine people. Perhaps we can learn from them for a change.’
‘You resemble the enemy we have been raised from birth to anticipate. The all-conquering, unrelenting daemon of Kaos-war. The bloody-handed god of annihilation.’
‘Enemy?’ Horus laughed. ‘When did they become the enemy? They are men like us.’ He glared up at the night sky, threw back his head and screamed a curse at the stars. Then his voice fell to a whisper. Loken was close enough to hear his words.
這噗用來放我讀荷魯斯三部曲的紀錄，因為作者 troll 人的頻率實在太高了（不如說真的有小說家會放過這種拿劇情之壁玩弄讀者的機會嗎）
入坑邊緣的我：
底下會有很多劇透、隨手貼的節錄，可以來聊天（雖然我感覺我的噗浪社交圈應該沒有戰鎚粉？）
-
結果因為我太吵，這是我看第一卷 Horus Rising 的筆記噗
「荷魯斯殺死帝皇那一天，我就在現場」
：啊？啊？？？
突然覺得當雲觀眾是件很糟的事，因為我對他之前的印象來自死亡與終結的節錄（還有 already suffering from some pretty serious daddy issue by LORE）
之後在洛肯叫他姓氏的時候笑著回「別這麼正式」那段也是
He imagined himself at the Emperor’s side, fighting some great, last stand against an unknown foe. Primarch Horus would be there, of course. He had to be. It wouldn’t be the same without him. Loken would battle, and die, and perhaps even Horus would die, to save the Emperor at the last.
幸好我不是（。
洛肯：ㄜ我可能沒有記得很清楚
記敘者：你的同事不是這麼說的
之前在到處跟別人說「荷魯斯殺死帝皇那一天我就在現場」的洛肯：
不過目前洛肯看起來正常很多，可喜可賀（嗯？
「你面前有福格瑞姆、洛嘉跟艾瑞巴斯，但你的爆能槍只剩兩發，你要打誰」
基里曼：我射艾瑞巴斯兩槍
推坑的朋友：再拿爆能槍狠狠敲他
先森，我有一個壞消息要告訴你
不要……再……立旗了……
先森（ry
我🫠
差點忘記貼，洛肯視角的荷魯斯
猴子視線游移
Loken shrugged. ‘I just empathise, I suppose. Their lives were comforted by mysteries, and we’ve taken that comfort away. All we can show them is a hard and unforgiving reality in which their lives are brief and without higher purpose.’
🫠
嗯，要怪的人太多了，就怪艾瑞巴斯吧（合掌）
所以到底為什麼最後會跳水成那樣‘Which is?’ Loken waited for an answer, expecting some transcendent truth.
What the Warmaster said was, ‘I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He hasn’t told anyone.’
‘What if he fails?’ Loken asked.
‘He won’t,’ the Warmaster replied bluntly.
‘What if we fail?’
‘We won’t,’ Horus said, ‘because we are his true servants and sons. Because we cannot fail him.’
This is your daily "fuck you Erabus" comment
‘Really?’
‘No, all right. He’s a lousy man. Uncouth. Stubborn. Annoying. But he is a great poet, and he speaks the truth, no matter how unpalatable that is. Ignace didn’t get beaten up for lying.’
高中時讀到地海第二冊，格得把恬娜的黑長袍變成漂亮的禮服、告訴她「你要我給你看些值得看的東西，我想讓你看看你自己」
：
朋：
然後她就把我的聊天室暱稱設成粉紅雷達機。
That made Loken smile. He was beginning to like the man.
而且我總有種感覺，聖血天使好像一直遇上這種破事？？？
‘I promise, captain, though I warn you it’s an ugly, cross-eyed, crook-backed, club-footed soul.’
‘I’ve seen ugly,’ Loken assured him. ‘The third condition. A question, really. Do you lie?’
Karkasy cleared his throat and winced. ‘I said… I said the Imperium would not endure. I said that nothing lasts forever, no matter how surely it has been built. I said that we will be fighting forever, just to keep ourselves alive.’
‘Sir?’
‘Look after Keeler, please. For me. You and Oliton. Make sure she’s not alone too often.’
‘Yes, captain. I will.’
是因為沖天炮嗎（？？？
‘I have come, as fast as I was able, to help you, sir,’ he said. He clasped August in an embrace. The Warmaster was smiling now. ‘I like a man who’s proud enough not to bend his knees to me,’ he said.
正常狀態的荷魯斯看一點就少一點（是在哭
The fleet officers rose, cheering and applauding. He’d won them over. Just like that, thought Loken, he’d won them over. They were his now, forever.
現在感覺是平均廚度（
‘We will forgive him, even so,’ Horus said.
‘Should we, lord?’ asked Loken.
‘I’ve shot men for less,’ said Abaddon.
‘That may indeed be what I’m doing, yes,’ Torgaddon replied.
‘We’re his war dogs?’
‘So he doesn’t have to growl himself. Exactly.‘
‘That’s Captain Torgaddon,’ Torgaddon replied. ‘If I insulted you, in any way, let me assure you, I meant to.’
‘There you go again,’ Torgaddon sighed, pushing Eidolon away from him with a two handed shove to the lord’s breastplate. ‘He’s the Warmaster.’ Another shove. ‘The Warmaster. Your Warmaster. Show some cursed respect.’
And to win rudely from them at cards.
Eidolon bowed, and seemed to ignore the dark glare the Warmaster was casting in his direction.
Horus would not let himself be outshone, even by the one he loved most dearly.
好可愛喔
He took another two bites, threw the fruit stone away, and swallowed the flesh before he continued. ‘Sanguinius, my dear brother, is right, for Sanguinius has always been my conscience.’
哭了
「只要不把話題拐到戒指和星座書上，荷魯斯很好相處」
‘