[Spiders] Achievement Unlocked!

Held a spider with my bare hands for the first time! It was a little, fat, pregnant Tan Jumping Spider! I sat and observed her for a couple hours, then went to put her outside. Let her climb on my finger to be released, and she jumped off my hand into the bushes!

She tickled, for the all of one second she was on my finger. She had the cutest little face, too, and was obviously very curious about the little cup she was in. lol

We actually startled each other. lol I opened the front door to see if there were any critters, and bam, fat spooder hanging right in front of my face! I squeaked, and she instantly dropped a whole foot on her line! Like you could tell she'd been startled!

SPODER

oh, that's a good fuzz!

AH HAH HAH HAH HAH ;A; I JUST BACKSLID RIGHT BACK INTO SPOODERFEAR!

WENT OUT TO THE FRONT PORCH TO SPRAY DOWN A BUNCH OF ABANDONED, OLD COBWEBS THAT HAD BEEN HERE SINCE BEFORE WE MOVED IN.

THEY WEREN'T ABANDONED

THEY WERE JUVENILE BLACK WIDOW WEBS

LIKE A DOZEN OF THEM OR MORE

/grabbed a giant water bottle, squirted dawn dish soap into the water, and went to fucking town/

UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN, MY SKIN IS GOING TO CRAWL RIGHT OFF MY BODY

WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN JUMPING SPOODS??? I COULD HAVE RELOCATED THEM I LIKE THEM THEY WON'T PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL

I know it's extremely unlikely for a black widow to kill a healthy adult, but people have still described it as feeling like your spine is being ripped out

ALSD;KFJAL;SDFJ /CRIES/

I think I need a drink. Like. A lot of drink. Give me the fucking booze. ALL WE HAVE IS PROSECCO

FAWK MOM AND TIFF ALREADY DRANK THE PROSECCO

/grabs the valerian root tea ;_;

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

cute jumping spider but i fully understand your reaction to the webs

The jumper was great! ;A; I love her and she is precious. The others can DIE IN A FIRE. I WISH I COULD TAKE A BLOW TORCH TO THE ENTIRE THING

I literally feel like my skin is crawling off, it's so gross ech I wanna cry ;A;

this is me stomping every amanita muscaria and death-cap I could find in our woods on principle but SO MUCH WORSE BECAUSE SPIDERS CAN MOVE

mushrooms are cute and allowed when they're not deadly!!!

See, I'm not in the habit of picking up mushrooms and trying to nomf on them, so I'm not afraid of those. But spiders can sneak up on me and go CHOMP!

It was more "what if other kids eat them"; I still feel the same way about deadly nightshade. But yeah, unsafe critters are much more unsafe than unsafe plants.

omg, well, that jumpybug is adorable, I can confirm. congrats to ridding the spot of the nope-bugs!