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one of her very few tasks to order galon and it's been three days. what else can i say, what else can i do. ive accepted the fact ive been an enabler of her incompetence. it is me who has let her weaponize it to her heart's content. but now that ive realized my mistakes, and taken steps to remedy them, but shes unwilling to remedy hers, what CAN i do?

the substane is alright, where i am rn, i relate ofs, grief over loss youth, the inappropriateness of sucking the energy of youth, psychologically spot on. the carrie ending, the shining corridors, dennis quaid giving mugatu, a bit tired, but its alright. 5/10

ada ya org udh berkali2 dimintain bantuin cuci baju keluarga malesnya minta ampun, akhirnya gue keteteran, anak berangkat sekolah seragamnya masih setengah basah, kasian amat huhu, pas diingetin tolong dong bantuin gue nyuci baju, paling nggak lipetin deh, eh masih ngeles: "we need to involve [nama anak] to do house chores too. we have so many". EDAN SIH

org kok cuma diem, partnernya udh panik marah2 sedih, tetep diem. malah jd ga enak sendiri dia kenapa ya? fucking hell so lonely

jangan jd org yg terlalu reliable, tar too many people rely on u to do everything and sooner or later you'll break

i like beberes rumah, but having a partner yg malesnya minta ampun (sehingga juga naudzubillah incompetentnya, hidup kayak anak kosan pdhl udh 40 tahun ke atas) ternyata bikin resentment/sense of isolation yg mengganggu kenikmatan beberes rumah tersebut. hrs dgn sadar mengingatkan diri bahwa if i really do enjoy this, then let's do it w/ a smile on our face

sedih jg kl dipikir2 ya i know ga usah dipikirin sbnrny, tp ive noticed kl pinjem2an uang sesama yg (relatively) misqueen ada unspoken understanding ya udh relain aja kmgkn besar duit lo ga bakal balik, tar kl gantian perlu yg dl ngutang kl lg pny duit pasti gantian ngutangin; tp kl minjem sm yg tajir e buset terminnya udh kyk minjem sama bank aja wk

nah kalo beli gofood aja males ngeluarin makanannya dari kantong plastik mending lo buruan kabur jauh2 dah

bibit bebet bobot. who cares. tu org bisa ga nyuci piring, nyuci baju, nyapu, ngepel, beresin kamar, wipe their own ass kalau lagi ga ada pembokat? kalau iya langsung kawinin dah

kok ada ya org yg ngomong pake cliche phrases trus ga cringe sendiri? "suara hati perlu ekspresi" wtf dumb

this deepseated loneliness. "seated" doesnt sound right. more like ensconsed, immovable, permanent, a massive black hole barely contained within your body.

gimana coba caranya mikir kayak orang gila agar mengerti orang gila tersebut? pada saat kayaknya lo belum cukup gila. edan sih ini, bikin gila aja.

capek sedih mulu. mikirin diri sendiri. mikirin orang lain. mikirin duit. bisa nggak sih nggak sedih sehari aja, beberapa jam deh.

i should really stop searching for this ser serrr thingy

so sad ternyata segala keribetannya karena memendam trauma yg kl itu terjadi sama gue pasti gue udah gila dari dulu. bayangkan menyembunyikan hal kayak gitu puluhan tahun. i cant even imagine. kuat2 ya sayang. kamu udah strong banget memendam rahasia ini begitu lama, sekarang sudah terbuka semuanya kamu pasti bakal lebih strong lagi.

abis konsul bukannya membaik/sadar diri malah gua dituduh macem2 trus maksa suruh bayarin pijet 3 jam fucking nutcase

gue juga depresi kalik duit dibuang2 sampe nyaris bangkrut trus ga mau bangkit sendiri. inget zaman2 naik motor berangkat kerja jam 5 pagi dr ciledug pas di ps kebayoran lama pasti macet digencet mobil sampai trotoar kudu nurunin kaki ke kobis2 busuk, hahaha what fun. lo diminta baik2 coba deh ke kantor naik mrt aja ogah. kok gue liat banyak org yg bisa?

"beli kebaya di thamrin city aja yuk""aduh males malah bingung nanti ke alun2 aja"(dalam hati: "well i guess udah 15 tahun tetep ga peduli beda lagi tajir sama lagi kismin, ga akan berubah juga sekarang mah" )

turns out ure just a small, sad, tiny man. but i forgive u. just dont be so pathetic next time, have some self respect? santuy luwes aja. remember winter of 1997? that kind of self acceptance and cool. remember how funny and charming u suddenly became? and happy with yrself. such a good feeling. good luck man.

ternyata yg gue paling takutin adalah being stuck in a situation(ship) which ironically makes me feel alone, isolated, alienated, lonely. tapi masalahnya kayaknya solusi gue selama ini adalah selalu masih "lari ke orang lain". classic codependence behaviour. ga tahu apakah "bahagia sendiri" itu beneran mungkin atau ilusi, tapi sptnya layak dicoba dulu?

when u think ure ready to take care of someone for the rest of yr life, think again mainly about two things: will they take care of you in return, do all the signs now point to that possibility and, second, know that if the first thing doesnt happen, the loneliness u feel will literally kill u.

how he thinks he'll never get used to it no matter what no matter how much he has learned no matter how much hes convinced himself this life is the only life he'll ever have better get used to all the shitty parts and concentrate on enjoying the little slivers of fun

memang aku terstupidest man alive