I've decided something important about my WoL that I was waffling on! [ and additional gender talk ]

I've been like feeling bad for wanting to do this with her and I had to ask myself why and I realized it's because it felt too self-insert when I wanted her to be her own character. but I've also come to realize she already acquired some of my qualities, particularly the ones people have always said they liked about me.

so I've decided Irie is intersex. it's a bit "futa" style but she has a penis where her clit would be and a regular ol' vagina. it's the surgery I've wanted for a long time but always felt like I was turning myself into a fetish idk

I've sat for decades in a body that's wanted to make me cry like I've lost a limb from a bomb or something. I think at this point I probably wouldn't be perceived as just being a creep

at least with today's moves on trans issues, acceptance is better than when I was like 10 years old when this all started and I was terrified and confused

the day a doctor clarified I produce excess testosterone naturally was one of the best days off my life. like I remember him saying it was a lot more than even what PCOS should show and I went home with that and was just so proud my brain wasn't completely broken and incorrect

that my body has just been trying to tell it something was missing and it couldn't hear it

anyway

tl;dr Irie is intersex, still uses she/her as she presents that way.

good for you but also points at the testosterone bit, points to self

hurrah!

I'll somehow show up to slap the first person who tries to call this fetishy or make you feel bad about it; I feel u entirely on this.

tbh I think that people thinking it was just a fetish was what made me have a lot of internal transphobia for a long time too. bleh

(my bg3 tav and durge have the same config for the same reason; we're allowed to have this without it being treated as weird or fetishy)

you're right. I still have mental obstacles to get over but I know you're right

i'm still there too, some days. it's a lot to carve out

for the first time last week, I was direct with my mother and stepdad about my gender, and elaborated to my mom about it because I had asked her if I had been born with intersex genitals and had any kind of surgery and she was confused by the question.

a couple months later, and stepdad is drunk and we're having dinner at my mom's and we start discussing generational differences of acceptance and it was actually a good talk cause stepdad is pretty centrist

and he didn't understand it but I told him at the end of the day, he didn't have to. he just had to respect what people ask to be called, and that I'm stuck in gender purgatory and go through a lot of mental health issues as a result

sounds like a good talk tho

all he's worried about is me being okay. cause I told him, and he didn't know I felt this way, but I am his kid. he doesn't have children and my mom can't have anymore, but he's still a parent to me and has been in my life for 2/3rds of it

yeah it was. I was surprised how well it went

awww

I still love my dad very much so it's not like a replacement situation or anything but they're all my parents