skerple
so I am playing a mobile game for one of those paid incentive thingies, and this game is. it's so. I think I hate it?
skerple
the game in question is called Alice's Dream: Merge Island
skerple
a Wonderland-themed merge game, as you may be able to guess
skerple
and like, the gameplay itself is fine? it's fine. the art is unremarkable, it's very much the sort of safe, samey art style you see in Gardenscapes or Literally Any Basic-Ass Mobile Game.
skerple
basically it's not innovating much but I don't hate playing it.
skerple
however.
skerple
two main things.
skerple
1. this game is SO FUCKING GREEDY. I don't play a LOT of this kind of game so like, I don't know what the standard is, but this game comes across as being absolutely terrified you won't give it money. you can barely play for five minutes without being interrupted by a sale popup.
skerple
when you start the game up it can take like 5 or more clicks sometimes to get through all the HEY HEY BUY A THING HEY
skerple
So I hate it a little for that alone.
skerple
2. the writing is like. look. on a baseline level, it's competent. I'm not sure English was the first language of everyone involved, but it's mostly fine with just the occasional "oh this is not the phrasing of a native speaker" hiccups, and that's frankly an editing problem more than anything else. and sometimes the writing is even quite charming!
skerple
but the story is. like.
skerple
okay.
skerple
so the premise of the game is that a girl named Ally, who is descended from the original Alice, arrives mysteriously in a destroyed Wonderland.
skerple
who destroyed it and why is still a mystery as far as I've played, but the reason it was able to be destroyed is that ~pEoPlE dOn'T uSe ThEiR iMaGiNaTiOnS eNoUgH aNyMoRe~
skerple
when Ally is first told this, she muses, "But why paint when you can text?"
skerple
why paint when you can text?
skerple
why paint when you can text?
skerple
WHY PAINT WHEN YOU CAN TEXT
skerple
that line alone is going to be my Joker origin story
skerple
those two things are COMPLETELY DISSIMILAR
skerple
ONE DOES NOT IN ANY WAY REPLACE THE OTHER
DK Jump Scare
Neverending Story did this better
skerple
that was bad enough on its own but I just now got to a scene further along in the story, after Ally has accepted that she's not dreaming and that Wonderland (and thus her family stories about it) is real, and is discussing how it got so messed up with Tweedledee and Tweedledum
skerple
Dum explains the thing about a lack of creativity weakening Wonderland
skerple
and Ally says
skerple
god I forgot the exact phrasing
skerple
but like
skerple
"I guess with my generation being sucked into our phones 24/7 there's not a lot of creativity..."
skerple
THIS IS A PHONE GAME
skerple
YOU DON'T GET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT KIDS THESE DAYS ON THEIR DANG PHONES WHEN YOU'RE A PHONE GAME
skerple
AND NOT JUST ANY PHONE GAME BUT ONE OF THE MOST PREDATORY PHONE GAMES I'VE EVER PLAYED SHORT OF CLASH OF CLANS KNOCKOFFS
DK Jump Scare
GOD I hate that shit
DK Jump Scare
also I could list some things I've discovered this year alone that I'd consider very creative so fuck off with that shit
pepperoni oil
why paint when you can text
云深不吃素
wow yeah disdain for your target audience what a great idea
nihaowdy
i do have to laugh bc i think youji plays this
nihaowdy
i'm not gonna ping them into a rage plurk if i'm right but pats
skerple
HONESTLY I WILL NOT SHAME YOUJI FOR PLAYING THIS IF THEY DO
skerple
I had actually largely stopped being mad at the game until it pulled out that THESE DANG KIDS ON THEIR PHONES line lmfao
skerple
because fuck it, it is pretty fun
skerple
there is in fact a surprising amount I like about it
elven wrongs
you can't imagine things on your phone! it's just not possible!
elven wrongs
pretty fucking bold of a PHONE GAME to say kids are on their phones too much
skerple
coming back to this to say, I got an in-game message soliciting me to join the discord and full out a survey
skerple
https://images.plurk.com/xrlTTsFf7cDNrm3Imwwfm.jpg They Literally Asked Me
skerple
they literally asked me to tell them if I'd had any negative experiences. truly that is the nicest thing they have done for me.
pepperoni oil
LOOK. Merge Games are addictive. I play Merge Mansion, and I know plenty of people who play the more level based ones like Island or Dragons
pepperoni oil
it's an incredibly primal desire of Number Go Up that made 2048 a smash hit for a game about math a few years back
skerple
YEAH FOR REAL
pepperoni oil
(It also attributes a lot to Suika Game's success)
skerple
like genuinely I have no gripes with the actual gameplay, it's a solid merge game
pepperoni oil
(People just inherently love seeing two things pop into one bigger thing)
skerple
it's so fucking satisfying to see two things pop into one bigger thing
pepperoni oil
And yeah, it sounds that way, which like
pepperoni oil
....look I'll be honest with you, that's the big achilles heel in the genre
pepperoni oil
you either gotta become a master of edging and teasing and pretending to have plot and never having plot (lol hi merge mansion) or you try to just go full "MERGE THINGS, THAT'S IT" plotless like the level-based ones

when you try to Have A Plot, when you try to Stand On The Gardenscapes Stage
pepperoni oil
it veers bad
skerple
... honestly yeah makes sense
skerple
it's easy to design merge mechanics and very difficult to make a coherent story around merge mechanics
skerple
since you mentioned Gardenscapes, I feel like that only works because 1. it's match-3 instead of merge, which is easier to separate from the game world, and 2. Gardenscapes' plot is the most blandly pleasant white bread shit
Hamlet 3.3.87
or, alternatively, you go balls to the wall insane with your plot, like Tropicats did
Hamlet 3.3.87
which was also a match 3 rather than a merge, but i am reminded of occasionally when "addictive phone game plots" come up
skerple
I DO OCCASIONALLY THINK ABOUT TROPICATS YEAH
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