i just reread stuff that happened with martijn, like the time he called me a bad friend and tried manipulating and pressuring me into not being friends with simon for marko, whose head he completely went over because i had in fact already talked to him myself. reading this truly makes me realize how much bullshit i put up with and how toxic he was

he might honestly just be the most toxic person i've ever had in my life apart from you know who. i truly regret the person i was the year i met him and surrounded myself with him. many good things have come out of our friendship, but mostly just friendships i've made through him that are still important to me today. i'm glad i am not around him and

influenced by him anymore. i wish i could've seen how wrong i was acting around that time earlier, but it was really hard to even accept that i needed to let him go in the first place.

i'm a better person now, i think. at least i hope so. and i'm grateful for the people i've met because of him

Wow I feel blind. Cannot believe I never noticed

dream bird evil : i mean it's not that big of a deal! i've left martijn in the past and what happened happened

pudding : ily 🫶🏾