[mute] I feel like I’m just, fucked

Wasted money on a masters degree I’ve got no use out of and can’t seem to now

Job skill wise, I’m mediocre at best at a bunch of things but not great at anything

I don’t want to stay working in ABA but I can’t seem to get out. I doesn’t pay well enough but I can’t get a job that does

I’ve got crushing debt, so I’ve just stopped paying for things that need to be done

Broken things stay broken

My health gets worse because I can’t afford medical care

My blood pressure is dangerously high, I’m very likely going to have to deal with another kidney stone in the future

I already get chest pains and I’m afraid if I go through the pain of passing a kidney stone with my heart issue then I’m just going to have a heart attack and die

And there’s just nothing I can do about it

Was hoping I’d get this better paying job so I could turn things around

But they just affirmed the same thing that every employer I apply to tells me: I don’t have the marketable job skills to be paid enough to literally just live

I’m so over it all

I feel like just giving up on everything

I’m not going to unalive myself, to be clear. But if I just keeled over and expired I think it’d be a mercy to basically everyone.

Don't give up. There is always hope, there is always a better job. When times get really bad, that is when you need to find the strength within that you know you have to keep moving forward. You are in my prayers. I don't know your name or I would call you by your name, but you are in my prayers. Stay strong, don't give up please.

I'm so sorry it's so bad, but I really do think more people would miss you than you realize.

You deserve better than this and I hope you get it.

marketable job skills is bullshit. everyone deserves a living wage