skerple
fantasy concept: elves who have a really strong nature-focused group identity, but it's about sustainable ecosystem management
skerple
you start exploring a beautiful forest that seems untouched in its beauty but also singularly well-designed for shelter, food, etc.
skerple
you make camp and within two hours a group of elves shows up at your campsite to explain the land management system to you
skerple
here's what's best to forage right now, here's what's going out of season, here's what's been a little bit fragile lately so try and go easy on it, here's something that seems useless but is actually incredibly important to the system so make sure to leave it in place, here's an invasive we've been trying to stamp out so take as much as you like
skerple
just like, you're roasting a fish on a skewer and these elves descend on you to give you the friendliest life sciences lecture
skerple
every single one of them has been personally up to their elbows in the careful management of this ecosystem for the past thousand+ years so they're all very invested in it and very excited to share what they know
L'Cygna Tovah
beautiful
L'Cygna Tovah
best: it's not a Conventionally Desirable ecosystem
skerple
oh man. yeah imagine the Swamp Elves
skerple
anyway yeah I've just been thinking a lot about the ~beautiful perfect untouched paradise~ the first European colonists described America as, and how it was like that because the Native tribes had been engaged in collaborative land management for basically forever
skerple
and then moontouched 's plurk activated some neurons to connect those concepts to "what if elves that didn't suck" and I didn't want to just take over that plurk with a braindump
skerple
but yeah imagine elves that are slightly but benignly alien and instead of it being because they're all so weirdly superior and snooty, it's because they're all the most autistic park rangers you could possibly imagine
L'Cygna Tovah
YES
skerple
you just can't understand the elvish mindset if you've never spent two centuries painstakingly nurturing a single keystone species back from the brink of extinction after the bulk of its habitat was destroyed in a magical war
L'Cygna Tovah
I do not fully understand but I do appreciate
L'Cygna Tovah
many elves dress in the shimmery sparkly weird shaped armor. this is because they are really into beetles.
skerple
the elf in question cannot tell you even the most basic information about said war, but they know absolutely everything about this species of tree frog
skerple
BEETLE ARMOR
skerple
yeah whenever elves find time for art and personal expression - which feels like not very often to them, but frankly in a well-managed ecosystem they may have entire decades basically free assuming nothing weird happens - they draw Deeply on their own personal areas of natural expertise
skerple
elven art exhibitions are as much biology lectures as anything else
skerple
very highly regarded events because elves recognize their own tendencies to fixate and overspecialize and they appreciate the opportunities to expand their knowledge and readjust their perspective of the greater whole that they all contribute to
L'Cygna Tovah
wouldn't anyone?
skerple
some mortals don't! this is so baffling to elves
L'Cygna Tovah
I mean, I would run into my personal inability to pay attention to talking/stay in one place limits
skerple
well of course
L'Cygna Tovah
but the spirit would love to hear about canebreaks! the flesh is just problematic
skerple
/nods sagely
云深不吃素
this but it’s an elf
https://images.plurk.com/7enSFBb6aM5h7ofamdbIpk.jpg
skerple
powerful
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
this reminds me of a thing I thought about a while ago about like. agricultural elves.
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
you never see an elf farmer.
ғᴏxʏᴍᴏʀᴏɴ
and now I'm thinking these elves probably don't farm but they definitely still like. work with dirt. get their hands dirty. will dig holes and plow land and plant trees.
skerple
oh absolutely
skerple
and do controlled burns
skerple
these elves are clad in hard-wearing dungarees with stains that are older than your ancestral line
HOT TURKEY TAKE
I feel like this is how benevolent fae are, too
corpse bride
i always assumed this was how Sylvan or wood elves were SUPPOSED TO BE
corpse bride
and high elves are the super pissy ones that just assume mortals are too stupid to understand the rules, and instead of taking time to explain it, they just chase them out
skerple
corpse bride : if only
skerple
it's just that D&D lore got really, truly, deeply weird and bad about elves
skerple
they were apparently genuinely trying for "more enlightened and in tune with nature" and landed on, uhhhh, "racists who consider orcs and humans basically vermin"
skerple
(Forgotten Realms lore on elves was the thing that inspired this plurk)
moontouched
it's kind of impressive how a lot of writers created this extensive lore and mythos for FR surface elves and it sucked absolute donkey balls
moontouched
Like it's not even like the authors were fighting with each other, it's just that what they agreed on sucked.
moontouched
There's a whole thing from FR's creator about how the elves (which, all elves? just gold elves? moon elves? wood elves? all of them?) have a derogatory name for humans and call them 'the manyhanded curse' because there are lots of them and they can cause sooo much damage to the environment and even if you kill them there's still more!!
moontouched
and even if they disagree on how to handle the environment their collateral damage might end up damaging it anyway if they fight!! so they're the manyhanded curse!!!
moontouched
And 1) this is really funny if you know anything about wider FR lore because surface elves have the most devastating clusterfuck of incredibly bloody elf on elf violence in their history and it's a tossup as to whether anyone acknowledges that or not
moontouched
2) it's double funny because there are so many different types of elf and they adapt to anything, there is like a fucking elf subtype for basically any environment that's been around long enough to get lore
moontouched
3) it's dumb ~o-oh it's overpopulation there's too many humans~ bullshit, which is the stupid part
moontouched
4) the creator then went on to be like "actually, the TRUE manyhanded curse is the orcs, who if they weren't KEPT IN CHECK BY VIOLENCE they would OVERBREED and OVERRUN THE CONTINENT and become the rulers" and that's the point where you spray him in the face repeatedly while shouting NO, ED, NO!
moontouched
And that's about where you start with surface elf lore
corpse bride
I don't even necessarily mind the haughty, superiority complex because elves deserves some flaws and not be these perfect paragons of uwu goodness
corpse bride
but it shouldn't be the same across the board, and it should be something culturally-ingrained in like the high elves as opposed to being ~racial flavor~ for all elves
corpse bride
I wish they would lean more into "the world owes us because WE colonized this land and rid it of dragonkind and made it habitable for people like us"
corpse bride
and then they have the gall to get upset when humans and other races come in to take "their" land from them lmao
corpse bride
the hypocrisy is a nice touch if it actually was acknowledged anywhere in the text or by other elf cultures
corpse bride
FFXIV lore for Elezen, and Ishgard, in particular, leans more into that angle, and I appreciate the hell out of it
corpse bride
moontouched : I think the derogatory terms toward humans MIGHT be limited to sun/gold elf usage, since lore specifically states that moon elves in particular are fond of humans, and often live easily in human cultures, and likely are responsible for siring the majority of half-elves iirc
moontouched
i wish i could be sure about that bc the older sourcebooks that outright say this stuff tend to treat elves as one united monolith
moontouched
even though they do split up elven outlooks/subcultures
moontouched
and a lot of the surface-elf focused old novels are just like "btw every single surface elf you see ever tolerates humans At Best"
moontouched
"wood elves don't like humans because they chop down trees etc etc"
moontouched
I def think it's mostly gold elves? But also there was a big tendency to write elves in general as the world's most xenophobic minority because there was a huge armwrestle between "2e dnd's vision of STOP FUCKING PLAYING ELVES THEY'RE ALL GOING EXTINCT SHUT UP ABOUT ELVES" and "BUT PEOPLE REALLY LIKE ELVES SO WE NEED TO CATER TO THEM" and it's a mess
moontouched
so they ended up all looking like huge assholes and it was okay that they were really horrible to everyone
moontouched
because they were Correct
moontouched
It's kinda developed over time of course, I think the present-day lore trimming back on. All that. Is a lot better. But boy there's a lot of terrible elf lore to go through.
corpse bride
oh, yeah, I'll be the first to admit most of my knowledge of The Lore comes from lore hounds on YouTube doing the work for me
moontouched
oh yeah totally understandable, getting through the different editions is a maze
corpse bride
there's a lot of comparative essays on How Bad It Was back in AD&D and how things have evolved in 5e
moontouched
i've only managed to read so much because i've been using citations and a lot of the really old TSR-era stuff is up on archive org
corpse bride
gestures at everything to do with the drow, but that's a whole other kettle of fish
skerple
HAHAHA OH BUDDY
moontouched
stares into the distance
corpse bride
but it always strikes me as SUCH LAZY WRITING to make an entire race a cultural monolith DESPITE acknowledging there exists distinct cultures and subraces
skerple
rikki may i introduce you to ruka, my resident Drow Liker
moontouched
I could get my PhD entirely on the history of drow lore and half of it will just be massive fifty point size rants about "stop blaming dogshit sourcebooks on the drizzt novels you assholes"
moontouched
"i've read all of them and i want you to know that every time you conflate dogshit sourcebook or dragon magazine bullshit with the internally consistent worldbuilding from the novels, i'm fantasizing about crawling through your screen with a megaphone to shout at you about how if you're going to position yourself as an expert, at least be correct"
skerple
their plurk that inspired this one was in fact about a series that pulled some truly heinous shit with the drow
moontouched
I know far too much forgotten realms lore, for my sins
moontouched
But yeah also it's super lazy writing because they really do a lot of stuff like "thisi s what all elves are like, and then here are all the elven subcultures, no we're not going to go into them, just assume the stuff we started with is true to all elves i guess???"
moontouched
"even if some of it is contradictory to said subcultures' views?"
corpse bride
skerple : i do know of Ruka from Tumblr and Hollow Knight fandom, and I've commissioned art from them in the past, but thank you for further introductions!
corpse bride
but yes, I would absolutely be that filthy elf liker in AD&D era, and I will defend elves as a playable race with my dying breath, but I will not excuse lazy dogshit writing
skerple
ohoho excellent
moontouched
the thing is like, i don't oppose elves being interestingly flawed, i love it when there's some clear like, flaws and hypocrisy going on? And characterse have to dismantle it?
moontouched
And there's lots of the first part but a lot of the old lore is just so deeply striated with like "and the elves are TOTALLY CORRECT."
corpse bride
and now, I'm gonna shill PointyHat's channel on YouTube because I think both of you would appreciate his D&D With a Twist series, and he's already covered elves and the Feywild
moontouched
"and they're SUPER ULTRA JUSTIFIED IN DOING THIS."
corpse bride
he literally made stat blocks for Ishgardians lmao and called them Courtly Elves to drop into any campaign
moontouched
Which has this really deeply unfortunate side-effect of like, when they released indepth sourcebooks about like, Cormanthyr and Myth Drannor, it was like "oh yeah everyone who lives here is just a huge fucking pissbaby about outsiders. Why? Um, reasons?"
moontouched
"Also they're correct about it btw."
moontouched
"By the way immigration and free flow of information destroyed myth drannor!!"
moontouched
and i'm just sitting there with my head in my hands, screaming quietly
skerple
truly just the most rancid fucking takes being presented as Morally Correct
corpse bride
I wouldn't even be mad if most of their ire was specifically directed at Powerful Human Wizards Fucking Around And Finding Out due to bad history with Karsus and the Netherese Empire
corpse bride
which, again, is funny because Elven High Magic also irreparably fucked up Faerun when they summoned Evermeet, but don't call them out on it
corpse bride
instead of just "all human bad and they breed too much"
moontouched
yeah like IT'D BE SO FUNNY IF LIKE. THE INHERENT HYPOCRISY WAS POINTED OUT
corpse bride
that they specifically do not like Mortal Hubris
moontouched
like "oh you're fucking with the weave!" "OH THE PEOPLE WHO CAUSED THE FIRST SPELLPLAGUE TO SUMMON THEIR SPECIAL LITTLE GOD ISLAND ESCAPE POD ARE GOING TO PREACH TO US?"
corpse bride
WHICH WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN BORING RACISM
corpse bride
"yeah, but we learned our lesson"
- elves, probably
moontouched
slow pan over to the dragon adventure from 5e
corpse bride
did you? did you really?
moontouched
which explicitly involves a mythal that drives all dragons coco bananas
moontouched
Sure ya did, lads
moontouched
yeah it's very like, it suffers a lot from a lot of the writers having a bit of that specific "woooow lotr elves are sooo cool" and sort of misguided hippie "bro have you ever thought that like....nature is so cool...and amazing...and humans are like..just totally bummers, brah"
corpse bride
also, Ruka, do you mind if I give you a follow on Plurk?
moontouched
kind of shit colliding together
moontouched
I don't mind at all!
corpse bride
you have Correct Takes and I'd like to see more of them
moontouched
\o/
corpse bride
but yes, since I'm playing BG3, I've been interested in deep diving into more lore, so this has been in my radar
L'Cygna Tovah
"wow LotR elves are cool" but they clearly have not read the Silmarillion even a little
L'Cygna Tovah
because that is all Elves Behaving Badly
L'Cygna Tovah
crankily wakes up and stomps online to defend the honor of the Legendarium
L'Cygna Tovah
and my personal sad war crimes elf
L'Cygna Tovah
ALSO THESE WRITERS DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO NATURE
L'Cygna Tovah
holds up large sign reading HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO
L'Cygna Tovah
[ask me about my feelings about Gridania. or don't. we'll be here a while.]
corpse bride
man, trust me, I am also Big Sigh at Gridania, even though I love my starter city
corpse bride
please allow Ishikawa to wrench it out of Oda's hands so we can get some much needed development
skerple
right, like, let Gridania get even half the development that Ul'dah and Limsa have
skerple
Ul'dah has had major political shifts both dramatic and subtle as Nanamo has gradually come to grips with what power she does and does not have and how she can and can not effectively wield it for the good of her people
skerple
Limsa is finally making a turnaround from being perpetually locked in a war of colonization against the kobolds and sahagin as Merlwyb has completed a beautiful slowburn arc from not believing it was possible, to refusing to believe it's not possible
skerple
Gridania? well uh we know more about Kan-E-Senna now I guess
skerple
okay no that's not fair A-Ruhn has been traveling the world and expanding his horizons
skerple
but that's still Character Development For A Seedseer, not... anything actually changing in Gridania....
moontouched
oh did you want something that's not seedseers? fuck you
moontouched
nothing changes in gridania
corpse bride
makes me so mad we STILL don't get even a crumb of Gelmorran or Duskwight lore, either
moontouched
EVERYTHING TO DO WITH DUSKWIGHTS IS JUST DECAYING IN A BASEMENT SOMEWHERE
moontouched
LITERALLY JUST NOTHING
moontouched
IT'S SO TERRIBLE
L'Cygna Tovah
DUSKWIGHT RIGHTS
L'Cygna Tovah
the "elementals" make me GRAAAAH because it's so obviously - either the Hearers are mostly lying/letting their racism inform their opinions, or no writer understands how a forest elemental would work
L'Cygna Tovah
the miqo'te aren't poachers they live here
L'Cygna Tovah
predation is normal
moontouched
it fucking drives me nuts that the only thing that even remotely questions this is

LEATHERWORKER????????????
L'Cygna Tovah
LEATHERWORKER
L'Cygna Tovah
"okay so we've established that Hearers can just lie. are we going to address this?" "no."
moontouched
FUCKING LEATHERWORKER???WHY ARE YOU LOCKING THIS BEHIND LEATHERWORKER i say as i make my wol learn every single craft
corpse bride
there is evidence to suggest in the newest raid that the elementals were created to "love everyone" and we should listen to them, which seems to indicate that yes, the hearers are lying
corpse bride
which I vastly prefer to the alternative, but CAN WE PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
moontouched
can gridania get a crumb of development
moontouched
Please
corpse bride
kick out the shitty Hearers or teach everyone to learn to listen and communicate with the elementals
HOT TURKEY TAKE
Hot shitpost take hours late: myth drannor was destroyed by being named myth drannor

That's like the elvish equivalent of naming your capital "gonesville"
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