anyway this is your regularly scheduled reminder that doms in bdsm are also in a position of vulnerability and having the sub dictate all of the terms of the arrangement isn't actually ideal praxis

THIS is the Problem With CNC (Consensual Non-Consent...

NOT THAT IT READS LIKE SHE DICTATED ALL THE TERMS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP 100% OF THE TIME just that like. I feel like this is partly kind of a reflection of. maybe not the whole culture but definitely a subset of it

that is very much abt like sub/female empowerment (disclaimer not all subs are women and not all women are subs obviously but the two are def intertwined in the attitude/language around all of this)

and then also conversely exacerbated by like the dom tendency to be like yes I AM capable and competent I am the dom I can do and be whatever my sub wants

apparently some doms feel like they can't use a safeword or they've 'failed'

every time I think about how the bdsm convo in the past like

decade has gone

"subs actually do have power in the relationship since the whole point is it is still just a consensual relationship between equals. it's not just like person a abuses person b, the end" "oh so subs have all of the power and doms are just harm dispensers"

im losing my fucking mind

WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER I DEFINITELY HEARD AND ALSO SAID STUFF ABT HOW THE SUBS ARE THE ONES WHO REALLY HAVE THE POWER

AND THEN OVER TIME IT WAS JUST LIKE

OH NOT LIKE THAT ACTUALLY

sobs not like that actually

yeah I--

not like this oh no